Week One
by obsidianLight16
Summary: Itachi used to live a simple life. Until Sasuke was born, Naruto became the devil spawn, and Deidara entered Konohagakure. There were some things in the world Itachi just couldn't put up with.
1. Week 1

**A/N: It's been almost a month since I last posted anything...sorry :)**

**The other stories will be updated shortly after this so don't worry! This is just for fun and because Itachi is one of the greatest characters ever ^v^**

**Enjoy!**

**Warning: Er- OOC on the chibis half...anything else you think needs one!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this story :D**_

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Itachi was a simple guy.

He woke up in the morning, threw some clothes on, and went out to the Academy to learn and become a great shinobi. Everything was going his way. He was popular, had all the other eight-year old girls after him, and was the best thing since the Hokage (in his opinion anyway). Even his parents bowed down before him- er um, _loved _him just like everyone else.

And then Sasuke was born.

The bane of his existence.

Things were almost normal and it seemed like nothing had changed for a while. Itachi grew up into an even _more _dashing thirteen year old, and Sasuke grew fatter. Yes. Things were as they should be.

And then Sasuke made a friend.

A mischevious energetic blonde with a knack for trouble. His name was Naruto- and he was a spawn of the devil. When he wasn't pranking the village, he was pranking the Uchiha Compound. And when he grew tired of that, he pranked Sasuke using ducktape and a knife (which is how they became friends).

Itachi used all of his ninja stealth to avoid the two children whenever they came near or asked him to play, because really, it was getting kind of creepy when one of them would appear in the shower with him. Everything was as it should have been, just like when he was eight.

And then his parents decided to go off on a vacation.

_"Itachi we're leaving," Fugaku said over his shoulder, holding a suitcase. _

_"When are you coming back?" Itachi questioned in a monotone, simply because it was fun to tick people off. Like his father. Fugaku hated when he stared at him with a blank expression. _

_"In a few weeks."_

_"OK." Itachi didn't really care. He was alone most of his time anyway (inner self sulks in a corner)_

_Mikoto walked by, patting him on the head and going to stand beside her husband. "Make sure you watch over Sasuke, okay?"_

_"No."_

_"What was that?"_

_Itachi blinked. "There was something in my throat, sorry."_

_Mikoto pleasantly smiled. "Well have fun and take care of things!"_

_"..."_

Thus his current situation.

Two evil children the age of eight grinning up at him in front of his room.

"Hi nii-san!"

Itachi twitched.

* * *

**Day One: _Play Hide-N-Seek (or try to)_**

"Nii-san? Nii-san? Where are you?" Sasuke called, voice echoing in the night sky.

"_Shh! _Do you want everyone to hear us?" Naruto asked from where they were crouched, hidden amongst some wild orchid bushes and trees.

"No but-"

"We'll find him sooner or later. He can't hide from us forever. Where's Sakura?"

"...I dunno..."

"What? You were supposed to contact her!" Naruto exclaimed, slapping a hand to his whiskered face.

"I did, I did! Don't get on my case!" Sasuke shouted back.

"Man, you're such a dud, what were you thinking-"

"I already said it wasn't my fault-"

There was a rustling in the bush beside them and a tall lithe figure emerged from the trees.

Sasuke and Naruto screamed.

"It's just me," Itachi growled, stalking out of the thick brush and pulling twigs from his hair. "I found you two so now you have to-"

"A monster!" Sasuke jumped back.

Naruto did the same, only he picked up a stick. "Back! Back! Run Sasuke, I'll take care of this!"

"Thank you Naru," Sasuke sniffed. "You were a good friend."

"Oh Sasuke...I didn't get a chance to tell Sakura how I felt," Naruto mourned.

"Don't worry," Sasuke tearfully said. "I'll tell her."

Itachi rolled his eyes. "What are you guys talking-?"

"Flee! Now's your chance!" Naruto interrupted.

Sasuke nodded. "Goodbye Naru, I'll never forget you," he said.

"Oh for goodness sake," Itachi muttered as his younger brother attempted to run but tripped over air.

"Help me! Naruto, it's all over!" Sasuke cried from his position on the ground.

Naruto threw the stick which conked Itachi on the head. "Look at what you did!" he shouted, dramatically running to his fallen friend. "Sasuke? Sasuke, are yo ualive?"

Sasuke cracked an eye open. "Just...barely..." He gripped at the blonde's shirt, head lolling. "Take care...of Sakura."

"But," Naruto shook the boy. "You were supposed to take care of her!"

Sasuke hung his head and whispered, "It's over...kill...the _beast_..."

"Sasuke? Sasuke! Noo! Sasuke!"

Itachi felt the nerve under his eye twitch. "Naruto, shut up."

"Die monster! I will avenge my friend!" Naruto proclaimed, leaping to his feet. "I know you know where Sakura is!"

"So stupid," Itachi growled, taking a step back. "Sasuke," he said while looking at his brother on the ground. "Get up and stop playing dead."

Sasuke sat up. "OK!"

Naruto grinned, embracing his best friend. "You're alive!"

"That's it, I'm leaving," Itachi deadpanned, turning around.

"Bye nii-san! Thanks for playing with us!" Sasuke cheerfully called, waving a hand.

"Yeah! Nice hair by the way!" Naruto said before bursting out laughing.

Itachi felt something in him snap. Possibly his sanity. His head slowly cranked towards the two boys, cracking his knuckles.

"..."

"..."

Naruto and Sasuke shared a glance.

"..."

"RUN AWAY!"

"Aargh!" Itachi smacked a hand to his forehead. "I'm _not _finding you little brats again!"

* * *

**Day two: _Going Hardcore in Sports (completely hazardous)_**

"Hey nii-san! Catch this!"

Itachi gracefully turned on his heel, hands ready to catch the..._object that clearly wasn't a ball but a Fuuma shuriken?_

"..."

"!"

"?"

Itachi stared at the weapon currently embedded in his palm and the fountain of blood coming out of it.

"Hey that's pretty neat," Sasuke said with a smile. "Will you teach me that technique too?"

"Yeah!" Naruto pumped his fists out in front of him with a smile, flinging a hand out. "The palm-catching-with-lots-of-blood-technique!"

A gust of wind blew overhead.

Itachi turned gleaming eyes onto them, slowly dying of blood loss. "Where did you get that shuriken?"

There was a long moment of silence and awkward glances.

And then-

"Oops..." Naruto grinned apologetically and then turned to Sasuke. "I guess that wasn't a spiky looking Frisbee after all."

Sasuke nodded with a devious expression. "Let's go back to Tou-san's shed and see if we can find some more!"

"Alright!"

Itachi felt lightning crack above his head, a thunderous expression on his face as he cradled his gushing hand. "YOU _FOOLS_-!"

He blinked.

They were already gone.

Itachi's brow suffered through a violent spasm for the rest of the day.

**

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**Day three: _Going out for a Picnic (and failing)_**

A new day in Konohagakure and Itachi woke in a foul mood. Only two days since his parents had left and he had enough of his little brother and friend. Sitting up in bed, he glanced across to the mirror on his desk, taking in the bloodshot eyes and pale skin. _They're going to be the end of me_, he moodily thought before swinging out of his bed.

His nose twitched.

He sensed someone else in their house other than Sasuke. Someone _all _too familiar for his liking.

Itachi huffed under his breath, stalking down the halls with already building anger. His hair billowed behind him with a driving force, feet leaving holes in the floor as he stomped. With a hand bandaged and slightly forced smile, he entered their kitchen. "Why is Naruto here?"

Sasuke and Naruto looked up from where they were packing miniature baskets of bread and onigiri.

"We're going to have a picnic," Sasuke told him, passing a horribly deformed onigiri to the blonde at his side.

"Tou-san and Kaa-san aren't here," Naruto added, putting the onigiri into his mouth.

Itachi's brows quirked, a twitching smile on his face. _Why are you calling my parents that? _"You're having a picnic?"

"Yup!" Sasuke looked around, a look of confusion spreading onto his face. He gave Naruto an odd look. "Hey, where's all the food I've been making."

Naruto swallowed the piece of bread in his mouth, rice grains on his puffed out cheeks. "No idea," he said in a muffled voice.

Sasuke suspiciously eyed him before lunging forward and tugging on his cheeks. "You can't fool me! Now we don't have anything to eat!"

"You can always make more!" Naruto protested, trying to push the raven off of him.

"But we won't have time," Sasuke said, defeatedly sitting back.

"We have plenty of time."

"Says you. You weren't the one making them."

"Well you wouldn't let me."

"Because you would screw it up-!"

"Mine can't get much worse than yours!"

Sasuke and Naruto were rolling around on the floor, screaming insults left and right while tugging at each other's hair.

Itachi sighed, deciding to step in before his headache got any worse. "Weren't you two supposed to go on a picnic? Why are you wasting your time fighting?"

"Oh yeah!" Naruto perked up, pushing Sasuke off of him and getting to his feet. "Sasuke we can fight later. Right now we gotta go on a picnic!" He held a hand out for Sasuke to grab.

The youngest Uchiha took the hand with a smile. "You're right. Come on, let's go!"

They were halfway to the door, and still holding hands like children about to go skipping through a field, when Itachi spoke again.

"Hold it."

"What now?" Naruto said, rolling his eyes.

_You little brat- _Itachi glared at him, fingers twitching.

Sasuke gave him a look. "Naruto be nice. What was that nii-san?"

Itachi calmed himself down, only because he didn't want to create a scene. "You don't have any food. How are you supposed to go on a picnic?"

Naruto tugged on Sasuke's sleeve. "We can eat Itachi," he loudly whispered.

_This kid...is going to die_," Itachi thought, shooting dagger's into the blonde's skulls. He noticed with minute horror that Sasuke was actually _contemplating _Naruto's suggestion and quickly backed away.

"No," Sasuke finally said. "He doesn't look too good. I'd rather eat Shisui..."

Itachi stared at him. Apparently the Uchiha's were raising cannibals. "You two do what you want. I'm going back to bed."

Naruto snickered. "Make sure you sleep with one eye open..."

_I should be saying that to you! _Itachi resisted the urge to maim the child and instead stalked back to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He flopped face-first back onto his bed.

And screamed into his pillow.

* * *

**Day four: _Going out Shopping (never again)_**

"Let's go shopping," Sasuke said when he walked into the living room. Naruto was sitting next to him, drawing a picture with a lot of red and black.

"I hope you die," Itachi said, walking by.

"What?" Sasuke stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Nothing. There was something in my throat. Let's go."

Itachi couldn't help but spare his brother and idiotic best friend a glnce every so often as they walked down the crowded streets. It didn't matter if they were going to be the death of him (because one way or the other it was going to happen) or that they were the most annoying creatures to ever walk the planet. He still had a responsibility to make sure they didn't get killed. That was _his _job. Naruto, cheerful as ever, was babbling excitedly to Sasuke who was responding with just as much vigor.

"It was amazing! You would have loved to see it!"

"No fair! Next time bring me along, okay?"

"Sure! I wouldn't want to spend time with anyone else."

"R-Really? Thanks Naru! Me too!"

Itachi felt a part of him die. _I never want to hear that again..._

"Huh?" Naruto ran off upon seeing the market they were at, stooping in front of the fruit stands. "Hey Sasuke, look! Tomatoes!"

Itachi rolled his eyes, heading over to the main stands in search of a decent meal.

Sasuke beamed, jogging over next to him. "Wow! They're good ones too!"

"I know, right? This has to be a natural talent, picking out such good looking food!"

Sasuke opened his mouth to respond when he saw a flash out the corner of his eye. _Huh? _He walked off, curiousity at its peak.

"I think I'm a genius after all. It doesn't matter what Shikamaru says about me! He's just jealous because I can keep my eyes open longer than he can-" Naruto continued chattering energetically, oblivious to the sudden disappearance of his friend.

Itachi was too. He had picked out enough food for twenty people. One for himself, six for Sasuke, and thirteen servings for Naruto. Just how it always was. He turned round, arms loaded with bags and beckoned to Naruto who seemed to be talking to himself. "Come on Naruto. I want to get home and lock myself away."

Naruto grinned at the sound of his voice, skipping over. "OK!"

"Wait." Itachi glanced from the blonde to the stand of fruit. "Where's Sasuke?"

"What?" Naruto's head snapped to where the Uchiha's gaze was. "How mean! One minute he was there, the next he leaves me to talk all to myself!"

"That's not the point," Itachi ground out, shifting the bags in his arms as he turned around. "Where could he have..." he trailed off, eyes bugging. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Sasuke beamed over at him from where he was handing out loaves of bread to the villagers passing by on the street. "Hi nii-san! Look at all these nice people!"

Itachi gaped at him in horror. Did he _not _see the savage villagers who were foaming at the mouth and trying to eat _him _instead of the food?

Naruto laughed, flashing his best friend a thumbs up. "You're so cool Sasuke! I wanna be just like you!"

"Oh no you don't." Itachi stalked over to the mob forming around his little brother, dragging Naruto by the hand and dropping their groceries on the ground. He pushed through the throng of jostling and shoving bodies that once made of the population of Konohagakure. "Excuse me- pardon me ma'm- could you please- oh don't shove- for Kami's sake watch my eye!- get out of the way- Okay that's it! KATON: GOKAKYUU NO JUTSTU!"

"..."

Sasuke and Naruto stared in awe at the pile of roasted bodies in front of them.

"Whoa..." Naruto's eyes were wide with amazement. "That was the biggest fireball EVER!"

Sasuke watched with a flush full of pride as Itachi came from underneath the pile. "Of course. Our brother's the best!"

Itachi climbed to his feet, raising a brow. _Since when am I **both **your brothers? _He crinkled his nose. Great. Now he smelled like dead people.

Naruto and Sasuke rushed up to the older teen, hugging him around the waist and looking up at him with bright expectant eyes. "You're the best ever!" they shouted in unison.

Itachi let out a heavy sigh, for once not bothering to push them away. "How do parents do it?"

"What?" Sasuke frowned at him. "I thought you knew."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, yeah!"

Itachi smacked them over the head. "Nevermind!"

* * *

**Day five: _Starting a Business (why even bother?)_**

Itachi exhaled as lightly as possible, trying not to stare Sasuke and Naruto into oblivion. Instead he shifted in the chair he stole from the neighbor next door, impatiently tapping his fingers on the wooden surface in front of him. _I can't believe I'm doing this...well it's not like I have a choice... _His eye twitched.

Since he had no spare time to go on missions there was no money coming in. No money meant no food. Food was life. Once, he had tried going out on a simple scouting mission just so it wouldn't take too long and he could make sure Sasuke didn't get into too much trouble on his own.

Never again.

So with his hands full of his idiot of a brother and stupid friend (he meant it in a loving way of course), there was nothing to do but try and make some money without leaving the village.

Thus the food stand he had created with his own two hands, with decrepit wood slabs and messily painted kanji that read 'Shop'.

His eye twitched again.

Right now Sasuke and Naruto were off handing out flyers that they had made themselves.

Itachi wasn't surprised no one was coming.

"Eh? What's going on here?"

Itachi froze, body visibly stiffening_. That voice...please don't let it be-_

"What- no greeting for your favorite cousin?" a devious voice asked.

Itachi slowly looked to the side, almost _cringing_ at the sight of the slightly older teen. "Shisui," he said in a tight voice.

Shisui smiled. "Good to know you haven't forgotten your best friend."

_Yeah. Best pain in the ass more like it- _"Of course not," Itachi politely replied. He knew his friend all to well. The moment his back was turned, he'd be running his mouth off to every nation about how the great Uchiha Itachi was working at a food stand for a living.

Shisui was quiet for a moment. Itachi thought he was going to leave. But then his cousin held a finger to his chin, thoughtfully looking at the kanji plastered above. "So you dropped out of the Hokage's services just to realize your true ambition and start a food market as a merchant why...?"

Itachi gave him a warning look, going back to tapping his fingers on the moldy surface of the stand.

Shisui ignored him, smiling ear-to-ear. "I see business is booming," he waved an arm around an otherwise barren street.

Silence.

"Well I really wouldn't want to interrupt this great shop you've got running. I guess I'll go to the Hokage and ask for a mission."

More silence filled with dark vibes.

Shisui nodded to himself. "Yep. That's sounds just about right." He turned around, waving a hand at his dear cousin. "Tell Sasuke I said hi. His new friend too!"

Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"And..." Shisui gave the younger raven a sly smirk. "I'll let the folks know how you're doing back at home. Have a nice time building a hut!"

Itachi's fingers spazzed. "MANGEKYO!"

* * *

**Day six_: Making Money (sometimes Itachi doesn't even know anymore...)_**

_We're going to starve and die and kaa-san and tou-san will kill my already deceased body and no one will care because of that last food market stunt which went no where and- _Itachi silenced his train of thought, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He rested his head on the kitchen table, absorbing the quietness of the room. When was the last time he had gotten any-? Where did Naruto and Sasuke go?

Itachi was suddenly alert. They told him they were going out in the backyard to plant some trees and save the planet...but that was more than three hours ago!

Itachi stood, already making preparations to kill.

Then front door opened and in stumbled his brother and best friend.

Sasuke looked up with a feverish gleam in his eyes. "Nii-san!"

"Nii-san! Did you miss us?" Naruto breathlessly asked, eyes also shining.

"No, and quit calling me that," Itachi said, whacking them both over the head. "Now put those bags down and explain yourselves. Where were you guys?"

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance and then turned back to him, grinning like maniacs. "We were making money for you!" Naruto said.

"Because you looked so upset when Shisui burned down the food stand," Sasuke added. "Do you want to see? Naruto-"

"Here!" Naruto lifted one of the bags with his arms shaking from the weight, handing it to Sasuke who held it in one hand with ease.

Sasuke smiled. "Thank you. Now look nii-san!" He opened it up for his older brother to see.

Itachi stared with large eyes at the massive collection of ryo and yen, unable to believe his eyes. "How-?"

"It was easy really," Naruto said with a smile.

"Yeah, we got one of Naruto's friends to help." Sasuke looked at the money and then closed the bag back up. He expectantly gazed at his brother. "Are you all cheered up now?"

"Where did you get that money?" Itachi asked, not being able to shake the suspicious feeling nagging at the back of his head.

Naruto bounced in place. "Well you see-"

"We robbed the bank!" Sasuke excitedly cut in. "_And_ we set it on fire! Just like you did with those villagers!"

Itachi slowly clenched and unclenched his fingers, lips already formed in a twitching grin and a vein throbbing. "Y-You two..."

* * *

**Day seven: _Making Friends (as if things couldn't get any worse)_**

"Hey un."

Itachi blinked, stepped out of his bedroom, and then stepped back in. He rubbed his eyes. "Who...the hell...are you?"

The blonde sitting in the middle of his bed with his foolish little brother and devil spawn smiled up at him, his visible blue eye shining. His hair was pulled back in a hairstyle similar to the Hyuugas, long fringe covering his left eye...

Itachi violently twitched. "Sasuke, Naruto...who did you bring into _my _room this time without permission?" Last time it was a hobo selling straws. It was an experience he's rather not go through again.

"Oh him?" Naruto grinned, patting the blonde's knee. "This is one of my bestest friends in the world!"

"Hey!"

Naruto blinked. "Except for you of course Sasuke," he assuringly said.

Sasuke smiled at him.

"I'm Iwa Deidara un, nice to meet you," the blonde said with a smirk that told Itachi they weren't going to get along at all.

"Right. And why are you in here?" Itachi demanded to know, straight to the point.

"I helped Naru-chan and Sasu-kun make art yesterday," Deidara helpfully said.

"It was super cool nii-san!" Sasuke gushed, latching onto the older blonde's arm.

Itachi lifted a brow. "Art?"

Deidara's eye sparkled. "Yeah. It's how I blew that bank up. You wanna see it?"

"No thank you. Now please leave before I kill all three of you."

Deidara cocked his head. "What the-?"

"Okay!" Sasuke shrugged, sliding off his brother's bed and dragging Deidara with him. "Nii-san likes to sulk by himself, so you can show us how to make those bombs in the backyard."

_Bombs...? _Itachi stared at the three walking by, more specifically Deidara. "You a shinobi?" he rudely addressed the boy.

Deidara looked at him haughtily. "More than you'll ever be un."

Itachi felt a vein pop. "What was that?"

"Nothing. There was something in my throat hm. Let's go Sasu-kun, Naru-chan."

_Even taking my own words! That little brat! _Itachi didn't bother quelling his killing intent. "When you come back here-"

"Are you saying he can stay?" Sasuke asked with a gasp, obviously happy.

Itachi frowned at him. "Of course-"

Naruto bobbed his head. "Yeah! Deidara-nii is only here for a few weeks on a mission and doesn't have anywhere to go!"

"But I never-"

Itachi never got the chance to finish because suddenly Deidara was hugging him and squealing. "Thanks so much _Itachi_! You have no idea how much this means to me!"

Naruto and Sasuke giggled.

Deidara pulled away, but not before darkly murmuring in Itachi's ear, "I'll be sure to make your life a living hell during my stay...Uchiha-kun..."

Itachi glared.

Deidara smirked again, heading out his door and out into the hall. "Oh Sasu-kun! I don't know where anything is. Mind showing the backyard so we can create some art?"

Sasuke grinned. "H-Hai! Come on Naruto!"

Naruto grinned back and the two chased each other out after Deidara.

Itachi watched them go and then turned to the nearest wall, banging his head repeatedly. _Kaa-san, tou-san, I will hate you for the rest of my life if I have to put up with this another day. _

In the background he could hear the loud noise of an explosion.

_Why does this always happen to me? _Itachi inwardly groaned.

**

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**A/N: That was the first week for you. To continue or not...?**

**Anyhow, it was purely for fun. Let me know how it was for you :) **


	2. Week 2

**A/N: Sorry it took so long- everything extended into something much longer than I originally planned ^-^u**

**This chapter also has a bit more drama but with the people Itachi's surrounded by it's no wonder! **

**Warning: Language, violence, OOC?**

**Enjoy :D**

* * *

Itachi didn't know how or why it happened. But someone up there had it out for him, and had it out for him bad. As if Sasuke wasn't enough to handle, the definition of the devil Naruto had to go off and invade his life as if he had been there all along. And then Deidara popped out! From nowhere! A pyromaniac who found it funny to blow banks and little children up! What the hell was his life coming to?

Itachi sighed, rubbing a hand over his brow as he sat up. It was the middle of the night and he had promptly fallen asleep after hitting his head on the wall. That…or he just went unconscious. And that would be strange because if he was unconscious, there was no way he could get himself in the bed-

He froze.

His fingers clenched on the bed sheets, body beginning to tremble as he forced himself to look down at his side. "What…are you doing…in my _bed_?"

Deidara cracked an eye open from where he lay, facedown in the raven's pillow with his golden locks splayed across his shoulders. "What hmm…?"

Itachi's whole body was rocking in rage. "Dei-da-ra," he ground out.

"Is there an earthquake or something…? Quit shaking Uchiha, I'm trying to sleep."

Itachi kicked him into the wall. "Find your own bed!"

"Ow!" Deidara pushed himself out the dent made upon impact, glaring at the raven with a narrowed eye. "Is this how you treat all your guests hmm?"

"We never _have _guests."

"Well I can see why un." Deidara brushed himself off and then made to walk towards his door. "Alright. If you won't let me sleep with you, then I'll just sleep with Sasu-kun and Naru-chan. They share a bed right?"

Itachi glared. "Don't even think about it."

Deidara paused by the door, turning to look at him with a smirk. "Oh? Worried I'll do something to your precious siblings un? And the other one doesn't even look like your sibling. And where are your parents? Because I _know _you didn't pop those two out on your own. I gotta tell you un, when I first snuck into this place, all I could see where Uchiha look-a-likes. Although there was this one cool guy…his name was Seashell or something. Said he was a cousin of yours hmm-"

"Will you stop running that stupid mouth of yours if I let you stay in here?" Itachi finally burst, a vein threatening to burst.

Deidara's eye glittered in the dark as he dutifully bobbed his head.

"Fine! Just stay on your side of the bed and don't touch me!" Itachi growled in exasperation, falling back into his pillow and turning onto his side so he wouldn't have to see the cocky smirk he _knew _was on the blonde's face.

"I knew you'd see it my way," Deidara said in a smug voice, plopping into the bed roughly just to aggravate the Uchiha. "Thank you oh-so-much for the hospitality _Itachi_."

Itachi huffed under his breath. "Shut up and don't say my name ever again."

Deidara's smirk grew wider and he turned on his side as well, making sure to bring the covers with him. "No problem…_Itachi_."

Said boy twitched. Someone was going to die.

And thus began the beginning of many horrid experiences for the both of them.

* * *

**Day one: _Sharing the Bathroom (never wants to do it again)_**

_"_Scoot over _Itachi_, your big head is blocking the mirror hmm."

"Well maybe you shouldn't stick _your _big head in my personal space Dei-da-ra."

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't so fat un!"

"Me? Speak for yourself!"

The two teens crammed by the sink in front of the mirror momentarily clashed foreheads, grinding their teeth with lightning sparking between them before huffing and pulling away.

"Stupid prick un," Deidara scowled, beginning to pull his hair into his customary Hyuuga style hair-do. (What Itachi now dubbed it as) "No wonder you have no friends."

"Coming from you, stupid little brat," Itachi bitterly scoffed, trying to go back to brushing his teeth. "At least I don't have to break into peoples homes claiming I'm on a mission just to have some friendly company."

"What was that? You wanna say that again _hmm_?"

"Sure! You friendless hobo!"

"I don't like your tone _Itachi_!" Deidara said, temple starting to throb.

"Really? Me neither Dei-da-ra," Itachi said back with barely concealed restraint.

"You wanna start a fight un?"

"Do you?"

"Nii-san! Open up already!" Sasuke shouted, banging on the bathroom door from the outside in desperation.

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto joined in, holding a hand in front of his shorts. "We really gotta pee! We've been out here for a whole hour!" he complained.

Itachi shot the door a deathly glare. "Shut up and pee in a bottle for all I care!"

"Waaahhh! Itachi-nii is so mean!" Naruto wailed.

"Stop calling me that!" Itachi barked, fingers clenching his toothpaste tube in anger. A loud squirting noise was heard, followed by the sound of something snapping. Itachi felt a chill run up his spine and he slowly turned sideways.

Deidara glared at him, spearmint-flavored toothpaste all over his newly combed hair and a broken toothbrush in his gloved hand.

Itachi couldn't help it. He sniggered.

Deidara's brow twitched. "Something funny…Uchiha-kun un?"

Itachi waved a hand at him, stifling another laugh. "No, nothing at all. I was just…admiring your new hairstyle. Very catchy I must say."

"Oh really?" The blonde looked at him with murderous intent, rearing his head back to give the raven a thunderous stare.

Itachi blinked.

And the zoomed out the bathroom before he could lose a limb or two.

Behind him he could hear Sasuke and Naruto stumbling into the bathroom in surprise.

"Deidara-nii, what was _that _all about?"

"Nothing Sasu-kun~! I just need to pay Ita-kun a little visit…"

Itachi spared a glance over his shoulder and regretted it almost immediately. "What the-?"

Deidara did a flying kick, catching him in the jaw. "Ita-kun!" Said boy went crashing into the wall. Deidara had him by the collar a second later, a vein throbbing violently on his forehead. "Who do you think you're messing with hmm? I'll send you into oblivion faster than you can even blink!"

Itachi smirked and then flipped the younger blonde onto the floor, holding him by the neck. His smirk grew at the furious expression on Deidara's face and he tilted his head to the side, smiling politely. "Who do you think _you're _messing with? I'm not one to be underestimated-"

"Bad nii-san! Bad!"

Deidara deadpanned as Sasuke and Naruto double-teamed to deliver a certain Uchiha a good kick to the noggin, effectively knocking Itachi off of the Iwa-nin and sending him sprawling onto the floor. Sasuke knelt down beside Deidara in worry, helping him sit up. "Are you okay? Nii-san was just being stupid."

_What? _Itachi felt a tick appear.

Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Itachi, one hand on his hip. "So much for acting mature! You're a bad example for all of us!"

Itachi lifted his head, eyes bugging. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU BRATS ON?"

"Ita-kun was so mean to me," Deidara tearfully said, wiping the corner of his eye. "I just wanted to say 'good morning' but he got all angry and squirted his toothpaste on me un…"

Sasuke and Naruto gasped. "No way!" they said.

"It's…it's true," Deidara said, turning his head to the side as if he had just revealed a big secret.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as Naruto pulled Deidara to his feet. "Nii-san, what you have done cannot be forgiven."

Itachi stared at him. "What in the world-"

"You're gonna have to suffer by not eating breakfast with us!" Sasuke shouted, hands on his hips. "Now go to your room nii-san and reflect on what you've done!"

"Yeah! Reflect!" Naruto chimed.

Deidara laughed behind his hand.

"You brats…" Itachi's fingers were twisting with the urge to kill. "WHO DO YOU THINK THE ELDERS ARE AROUNG HERE?"

"Come on Deidara-nii- let's go to the bathroom and clean you up!" Sasuke cheerfully said, blatantly ignoring his brother while starting to drag the older blonde down the hall. Naruto took up his other side, marching with the grace of a gorilla.

Itachi's entire body was twitching. "T-These guys…"

Deidara looked over his shoulder at him with a cocky smirk before sticking his tongue out. 'Score one for me Uchiha-kun', he silently mouthed.

_I'LL KILL THAT BRAT! _Itachi mentally screamed, another vein bursting.

* * *

**Day two:** **_Running Errands (ding-dong ditch)_**

_Knock Knock_

Deidara snickered and then ducked off behind some bushes, dragging Itachi with him.

"Get off of me!" Itachi hissed, smacking the other teen's hand off of him. "What do you think you're-"

"Shh…" Deidara kept his gaze on the door, nearly bouncing in anticipation.

Sasuke and Naruto, who had been patiently waiting in the bushes already like they had been told, looked at each other in confusion.

The door hesitantly swung open, a middle-aged woman curiously sticking her head out before shrugging and heading back inside. It was a mild reaction, but just what a certain blonde was hoping for. Itachi eyed Deidara with newfound distaste, crinkling his nose. What kind of self-respecting _shinobi _did these kind of things?

"Deidara-nii, what did that do?" Naruto curiously asked.

"That- Sasu-kun, Naru-chan- was the start of some fun."

"Fun?" Both boys tilted their heads, almost conking them together.

Deidara shook his head eagerly. "Yeah un. Watch this- her reaction gets funnier and funnier each time!"

Itachi rolled his eyes. _Oh good grief…_

Deidara proceeded to do it four more times before Itachi finally brought him into a headlock to keep him still. But all Naruto and Sasuke saw was a friendly one-armed hug between two friends.

Sasuke smiled at Naruto. "I'm glad nii-san finally has a friend."

"Me too," Naruto said while beaming. "Now he won't be such a grouch."

Itachi glowered at the two eight year olds. _Are they idiots?_

"Oi Uchiha-kun…" Deidara said in a low voice. "Do you mind getting your ogre hands off of me?"

Itachi felt a vein pop, smiling as he increased the pressure on the blonde's neck. "What did you say Dei-da-ra?"

"See? He's even smiling." Naruto pointed to Itachi, still grinning at Sasuke.

"Ah Ita-kun! Your hug is starting to hurt," Deidara loudly chirped, using the children's innocence to his advantage. "I can't breathe!"

Suddenly Naruto and Sasuke's pleasant faces became clouded ones with gleaming eyes.

"Can't you keep your immature tendencies under control?" Itachi muttered to the Iwa-nin, reluctantly loosening his grasp.

"This is actually good training to become a shinobi," Deidara offhandedly said, giving Itachi a dark look before shoving out his grasp.

Sasuke's eyes widened in glee. "R-Really?"

The blonde grinned at the youngest Uchiha, nodding. "That's right hmm. You work on your stealth and quick reflexes!"

"Wow! I didn't know that!" Sasuke excitedly said.

"Yeah, me neither!" Naruto gushed.

Deidara modestly shrugged. "It's really no big deal un. I do this all the time."

Itachi looked at him with a blank face, sweatdropping. _So that suddenly justifies your actions? _

"Okay! Your turn!" Deidara chirped to Sasuke.

"OK!" Sasuke jumped to his feet, prepared to go out.

"No you don't," Itachi growled, pulling his stupid brother back by the collar of his shirt.

Sasuke frowned. "But that's no fair is Naruto gets to! I want to have fun too nii-san!"

Itachi sighed, rubbing his brow. "Look, _neither _of you are going to do what this brat over here indicates as fun," he said, motioning to a smirking Deidara.

"But Naruto's already up there," Sasuke complained with a pout.

"What?" Itachi's eyes snapped to the front door where Naruto was happily pushing the doorbell. "Naruto! Get back here!" he ordered in a hushed voice.

Deidara snickered.

"Argh!" Itachi threw his hands up into the air, pushing to his feet and jumping up beside Naruto before the woman could open the door again. "You guys are going to get into serious trouble one of these days," he scolded, throwing the little devil spawn into the bushes with the other two brats. He stared the group down. "Now can we _please _get back to delivering these packages?"

Sasuke's eyes suddenly grew very large.

Naruto began choking on his spit.

And Deidara sat back with a broad smile, an eyebrow raised in his direction.

Itachi looked at them irritably, wondering if there was something on his face when he noticed a sudden looming aura behind him.

"You juvenile delinquint…." a dark voice said.

Itachi turned, a nervous smile on his lips. "Ah…this isn't what it looks like-"

"So you're the hooligan who's been disrupting my nap!" the woman roared, socking him in the face with a frying pan. "Take this!"

Itachi saw a light flash before his eyes. "M-Matte-!"

"Silence! Prepare to die!"

The three in hiding cringed as Itachi was beat into a bloody pulp.

"Ouch. That's gotta hurt," Deidara said with a half-smirk, half-wince.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Naruto asked, flinching with each hit.

"Oh sure." Deidara grinned down at the younger blonde, ruffling his hair. "After all, Ita-kun's got a pretty hard head." _A big one at that_, he sourly added in his mind.

* * *

**Day three: _Cousins (never know whose side they're on)_**

Itachi looked up at the sound of his bedroom door opening and then quickly whipped his head back down. _What the hell? _

"Hey there Itachi-kun! How's my favorite cousin?"

"You say that about all your cousins," Itachi muttered under his breath.

"Hm?" Shisui rested a hand on his waist. "Why aren't you looking at me? Something wrong with my face?"

_Yes. _"Of course not. I'm just busy studying, that's all," Itachi smoothly lied.

Shisui raised both brows. "You're sitting at an empty desk."

"Shut up."

"Well come on, look at me already."

"No."

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Don't be such a grouch!" Shisui said in exasperation. "I only came because I heard you got a pretty good whopping yesterday. Sasuke-chan and his little friend were really excited about it."

"Oh really?" Itachi lifted his head, a vein throbbing clearly on the side of his temple. "Shisui…how did you get into my house?"

"Whoa!" Shisui leaned forward in awe. "That's one nasty bruise. How'd you get it?"

"Shisui…"

"I think your nose might be permanently disfigured-"

"_Shisui!"_

"Okay, okay, fine!" His cousin grinned and pointed behind him to where a smug looking blonde stood in Itachi's doorway. "Dei-kun let me in. He's really a nice kid you know."

Itachi felt a nerve snap, hands twitching. "Y-You've got to be kidding me."

Shisui smiled. "Nope!"

"…"

"…"

Itachi activated his Sharingan. "MANGEKYO!"

Deidara sweatdropped. _Why do I get the feeling he uses that eye alot on Shisui-san? _

_

* * *

_**Day four:_ Friendship? (definitely disfunctional)_**

"Uchiha-kun."

Itachi reluctantly looked up from where he was sitting on his porch out back, putting down the book on throwing techniques he had been reading. The one who had disrupted him was none other than Deidara- but he had gotten way used to it to be surprised. Lately his brother and Naruto had gone off on a hitchhiking phase, trying to secretly tag along with shinobi they didn't even know on missions. Itachi only found out about it the night before from the Hokage who had the two evil brats in his possession. Apparently they had snuck out while he was dealing with Shisui.

But that wasn't the point at hand. Itachi sighed and eyed the blonde taking a seat next to him. "Was there something you wanted?" he muttered.

Deidara smirked. "You sound like you don't want to see me."

"Hn."

"Hmm...trying out a new syllable un?"

Itachi felt the bridge of his nose turn pink. "Whatever."

Deidara laughed before quieting down. "Say Uchiha-kun..."

"What is it?" Itachi looked at him through the corner of his eye.

"That technique you used on Shisui-san," Deidara began to say. "What was it?"

"Eh?"

"When your eyes turn red and the chakra behind it surges." The blonde motioned towards his face. "I want to know what that is hmm."

Itachi suspiciously narrowed the very eyes they were talking about, only they remained dark. "Why?"

Deidara's visible blue eye got a far off glaze to them after this question. "Because those eyes right then...were true beauty."

Itachi's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "It's my kekkei-genkai. Sharingan."

"Sharingan huh...?" Deidara smiled. "It's like Beauty and the Beast un. Your eyes the daring beauty being wasted on the hideous beast known as Uchiha Itachi."

Itachi hit him over the head.

"Ow!"

"What about you?" Itachi pointed to his hands. "You always wear gloves."

Deidara blinked. "Oh this? It's my kekkei-genkai too."

Itachi waited for him to go on.

And waited.

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to finish what you started?" Itachi nearly burst.

Deidara couldn't help but to stick his tongue out. It was really too easy to rile the other teen up. "Right. I won't tell you everything just like you didn't tell me everything about that Sharingan of yours-"

Itachi harrumphed.

"But I'll let you in on a little secret I guess." Deidara leaned over, holding a hand to the side of his mouth. "I have two little mouths beneath these gloves that I use for my art."

"What?" Itachi stared at him in near disbelief. "For your...you mean when you blow things up?"

Deidara sat back, nodding. "That's the idea."

"That's not exactly art you know..."

"It is too!"

"No...it's not."

"Yes it is!"

"Having three mouths isn't strange at all if you were thinking I'd be weird about knowing," Itachi suddenly said.

Deidara felt the corner of his lips tilt up. "I never once thought you'd mind un. That's not the kind of person you are hmm."

Itachi cast him an irritated look. "What would you know about the kind of person I am, Dei-da-ra?"

"The stupid kind _Itachi_," the blonde snickered.

"Hn."

It was silent as they turned their focus to the setting sun, both taking note of the wispy clouds and purple-painted sky for several minutes. Itachi was almost enjoying the comfortable silence until-

"Oh yeah."

Itachi rolled his eyes to Deidara. "What _now_?"

Deidara thoughfully held a finger to his chin. "I've just realized that you use the Sharingan on your cousin a lot. Why is that?"

"Because he annoys me," Itachi said.

"Hmm? You never use it on me though..." Deidara grinned at him. "Is it because I don't annoy you un?"

"_No_..." Itachi felt the nerve under his left eye twitch. "You just piss me off."

Deidara's grin, if possible, grew much larger. "Is that so? Then my mission is coming along well!"

_This little brat- _Itachi took a deep breath. He refused to rise to the bait-

"I forgot to tell you," the blonde interrupted his calming thoughts. "Today the Hokage called for you because Sasu-kun and Naru-chan got in trouble again."

"What?" Itachi's gaze snapped to the musing teen. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Deidara acquired an innocent look. "Well you were so into your book that I didn't have the heart to interrupt you hmm. So I went in myself and got them for you!" he chirped, oblivious to the blood draining from the raven's face. "Although the Hokage wanted to know where you were, I told him you ran into a wall and knocked yourself out un. He seemed to buy it anyway. And then I scolded Naru-chan and Sasu-kun in front of him just so he would know how responsible I am."

"Why do I get the feeling that's not all you said?" Itachi quietly uttered, depression smacking him over the head.

"Oh- very good!" Deidara clapped his hands. "I also told the Hokage I would give you a good spanking for not taking care of your responsibilities."

Itachi leapt back, mortified. "WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY AFTER THAT?"

Deidara tilted his head to the side, giving him a thumbs up. "He thinks you have great relatives."

A part of Itachi died that day.

* * *

**Day five:**_** Taking Care of Business (with the Hyuugas)**_

"You'll have to wait out here while I take care of business," Itachi strictly told his little brother and conniving friend.

"But nii-san," Sasuke protested. "What if we get lost?"

Itachi's eye twitched. "You won't if you stay in this spot."

Naruto crossed his arms. "But that's boring!"

Itachi's fingers cracked. "Listen you-"

"Ita-kun! The jii-chan is coming!"

"What? You brat- don't call him that!" Itachi hissed, shoving the blonde behind him as the head of the Hyuuga Clan approached them.

The four of them had left from the Uchiha Compound ten minutes ago, Itachi having realized today was the date his father was supposed to settle a financial debt with Hiashi. But his dad decided to up and leave on vacation so the responsiblity came to fall on him. Needless to say Itachi didn't trust Sasuke and Naruto alone. And he most certainly didn't trust Deidara with them either who'd probably send them off to blow up the charity center. So Itachi brought them along if only to stand by and watch. They were to have dinner in the main household and discuss terms of agreement and hopefully none of them would screw it up.

"Good evening Hiashi-sama," Itachi politely said as the older man came to a halt in front of him.

Hiashi gave a short bob of his head. "Yes. Good evening. Come inside for a moment," he said, motioning to a room to the side of them.

Itachi gave Naruto and Sasuke a look that clearly said to stay out of trouble before following Hiashi into the room and dragging Deidara with him.

Hiashi took a seat at the head of the room, a hand on each leg to give him an even more imposing air.

Deidara just scoffed and wondered why Itachi bothered to bring him in too.

Once inside and seated, Itachi respectfully bowed, reaching up a moment later to shove Deidara's head down as well. "It is good to see you so healthy Hiashi-sama."

Deidara rolled his eyes. _Suck up._

"As it is to you. It is unfortunate your father fell ill yesterday. Send him my regards," Hiashi said.

"He'll be very pleased," Itachi answered. _Tou-san please don't kill me for lying. But if he found out you went on a vacation you'd be in even bigger trouble! _

Hiashi approvingly nodded. "You have grown up well Fugaku's son. You'll do well to take over the family business."

"Hai."

Deidara gave the raven beside him a sour look. _Yeah right. He doesn't want to take over at all! _"Liar."

Itachi's eye twitched. "Shut up," he quietly said so Hiashi wouldn't hear.

Hiashi, as if noticing for the first time, looked at Deidara in surprise. "A wife has already been chosen for you Itachi? You're doing exceptionally well then."

Itachi didn't know whether to laugh or gag. "A-Arigatou Hiashi-sama."

Deidara shot him a scathing glare before eyeing the head of the Hyuuga clan. "I'm a boy un."

"..."

"Ah." Hiashi cleared his throat, trying to brush off the awkward moment as he stood. "My apologies. Shall we go on to dinner?"

Deidara followed the man's back with a deathly glare.

They stepped out into the polished hallway, Itachi looking at the ground in annoyance.

Sasuke pushed off the wall he had been leaning on, nudging a dozing Naruto with his foot to wake him up.

"You're going to burn a hole into the floor if you keep that look up," Deidara absently grumbled.

"Idiot brat," Itachi said, punching the blonde in the arm as Naruto and Sasuke trailed behind them. "You have to show more respect to Hiashi-sama or else we'll lose the entire deal. Tou-san is entrusting gaining the Hyuuga debt to me."

Deidara snorted. "It's hard to respect someone who thinks you're of the opposite sex un."

"Well _try_," Itachi groaned in exasperation. Things were not looking so good.

* * *

-Thirty minutes, one fire, an explosion, a fuming Hiashi, mortified Itachi, giggling Sasuke, laughing Naruto, smirking Deidara, and food splattered walls later.

* * *

"Out of the house- NOW!"

"Yikes! This guy is scarier than _you _Ita-kun!" Deidara said, bouncing to his feet and grabbing Sasuke along with him.

Itachi felt his patience snap. "Deidara you idiot! Why did you put a bomb in his food?" But nonetheless he also stood, pulling Naruto by the hand in a mad dash out the Hyuuga main household.

"He questioned my gender again! I think that alone is a good enough reason un!"

"No it's not!"

Hiashi shook his fist after them. "You juveniles will pay!"

* * *

**Day six: _Having Arguments (because every family does)_**

Itachi was not in the mood to be messed with.

It was hot in the house, there were messes everywhere, and he was stuck cleaning it all up because Sasuke and Naruto would only make it worse. Shisui had come over to help watch the two while he attempted to fix the place from the Hyuuga incident, but his cousin wasn't of much help either. He was giving Naruto and Sasuke kunai and shuriken to play with for Kami's sake!

On top of that, Itachi was tired from lack of sleep and still miffed at Deidara for screwing things up even _more _than they were before with the Hyuuga Clan. And now the blonde was constantly getting in the way, claiming he was trying to clean up too.

Itachi gave Deidara a sour glare as the blonde bumped into him, stepping on his foot and accidentally dropping the box of police documents he had been holding. "Do you always screw things up like this?" he asked.

Deidara flushed and started to gather the papers. "Not any more than you do un," he muttered.

"What was that?" Itachi tapped his foot, arms crossed. "Am I the one on the ground?"

"Look Ita-kun, I don't know _who _pissed in your Cheerios this morning but-"

"Don't call me that," Itachi sharply cut him off.

Deidara looked at him in something akin to surprise before huffing and getting to his feet. "I'll call you what I like."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Well I'll call you what _I _like then. Stupid screw-up."

"Prick!"

"Moron!"

"Socially-redundant bastard un!"

"Speech impediment idiot!"

"Girly-boy!"

"You're the girly boy!"

"At least I don't have long lashes," Deidara sneered.

"Yeah-" Itachi scoffed. "You wear eyeliner instead."

Sasuke looked over at his brother and the older blonde, forgetting about Naruto who was in the middle of throwing a playful punch. He brought his head back down and stuck his lip out at his best friend. "What was that for?"

Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry Sasuke. You weren't paying attention so-OW!"

Shisui held his hands out, sweatdropping. "Calm down you two-"

"What was that for?" Naruto cried, holding the growing bump on his forehead.

"You hit me first."

"Yeah but it was an accident!"

"I give up," Shisui murmured, smacking a hand to his face.

"OK then!" Sasuke jumped to his feet, hands on his hips. "We'll settle this with a fight! Just like nii-san and Deidara-nii!"

Naruto also got to his feet, stumbling slightly. "Fine! Hippo!"

"Cheese curl!"

"Cupcake!"

"Sausage!"

"Fruit cup!"

"Donut!"

Shisui stared at the two boys. _Those are hardly offending names...but what the heck! Still funny for me! _He smiled, hearing the argument on the other side of the room coming to a stop. _And it seems like they've caught the two drama queen's attentions as well._

Itachi and Deidara exchanged a glance.

"Our fighting won't ever resort to _that, _will it un?" Deidara asked.

Itachi nodded. "Of course not. Real men settle it with fists."

Deidara smirked. "Is that why you never threw a punch?"

"Hey Deidara..."

"Hmm?"

"Shut up."

The blonde frowned. "See? This is why no one likes you. I was just making a joke un."

Itachi found himself glaring. "Your jokes aren't funny."

"You just don't have a sense of humor, with that stick up your ass-" Deidara started to say with a smile.

"Oh come off it. You're just upset because no one would ever like a three-mouthed freak like you!" Itachi suddenly snapped, not liking being told what he had in his body or not. Of course as soon as he said it, he regretted it. Because Naruto and Sasuke chose that time to become friends again and quiet down just in time to hear his loud statement. _Damn you irony_.

Sasuke and Naruto were silently gaping and even Shisui looked surprised.

Deidara stared at Itachi, horro-stricken.

"T-Three mouths?" Sasuke said in a whisper.

"Wicked cool..." Naruto mumbled back. But their voices were too low for anyone else to hear.

The blonde took a step back and then another, suddenly feeling as if the world was closing in on him.

Itachi winced and held out a hand. "Deidara-"

Deidara pivoted on his heel, only to run face first into Shisui's chest. He fell on his butt, nose and cheeks red. "What are you-?"

Shisui grasped his wrist, pulling the glove off the stunned teen's hand. His eyes widened. "Sugoi! It's real!"

Deidara blinked. "Of course it's real..."

"Hey! Dei-kun you dolt!" Shisui jabbed him hard in the forehead.

"Itai!"

"Don't keep secrets from your onii-chan ever again."

"Whose my onii-chan?" Deidara said with a throbbing temple.

Naruto and Sasuke padded over, staring at Deidara's hand like a fresh piece of meat.

"Cool!" Sasuke grinned at the older blonde. "Can I have three mouths too?"

"Er-" Deidara sweatdropped.

"Me too! Then I could eat _three _times as much as I do now!" Naruto exclaimed.

Deidara slowly pulled his glove back on. "That's not exactly how it works- ack!"

Shisui lifted the kids off the flailing blonde, holding one under each arm. "Alright kiddies, enough already. Who wants lunch?"

"I do!" they cheered.

Shisui grinned. "Good. Now-" he looked down at Deidara and then to Itachi who was shifting awkwardly on one foot. "You two kiss and make up or something."

"Eh?" They both flushed in rage. "No way!"

Deidara glared at the raven.

Itachi gave him a heated stare in return which he soon dropped, looking off to the side.

Shisui shook his head. "I'll be leaving. Make up or no food." Then he marched out the room, Naruto and Sasuke waving back at them.

"I don't want to apologize just for food hmm," Deidara complained under his breath. "Okay Uchiha-kun, let's go. I'm hungry."

Itachi looked at him as he turned around in surprise. "Deidara..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Deidara shifted to face him. "I'm sorry you were born too."

"Wha-?" A tick appeared.

Deidara grinned, thumping a fist against his chest. "I've been called worse un. This was just a great way to get sympathy _and _let the others know about my kekkei-genkai. So thanks!" he flashed a victory sign.

Itachi's entire head was twitching to the side. "Dei-da-ra..."

The blonde laughed before bolting for the kitchen, a fuming raven hot on his heels.

"YOU DAMN BRAT!"

* * *

**Day seven: _Settling In (What. The. Hell?)_**

Itachi walked into the living room and froze.

Sprawled across one end of the couch was a certain blonde, bright blue eyes trained on the television show he was watching. Next to him was a plate of half-eaten dango and a cup of green tea that had yet to be drunk. The volume of the t.v. was turned down low for Naruto and Sasuke's sake, seeing as they were sleeping.

Itachi let out a loud sigh.

Deidara jumped and then cast him a jittery glare, not having sensed his presence or chakra at all.

"What do you think you're doing up this late?"

"Oh, it's you." Deidara fixed his attention back onto the T.V. screen. "Teme..."

"Is there a reason why you've settled in like this is your home?" Itachi dryly asked.

"Do I need one?"

Itachi felt his lips tilt down at the tone the blonde was using. _What's he so depressed about? That's my job! _"I would like an answer, since this _is _my house and all."

Deidara moodily slumped into the couch, crossing his arms. "I figured since I'm going to be here until your parents get back, I might as well make myself comfortable un."

"That's _too _comfortable," Itachi muttered, gruffly sitting beside the blonde. He pulled his legs up into the couch, wrapping his arms around his knees and resting his chin on them. The sounds of a chainsaw kicking up echoed throughout the room. "Why are you really here?"

Deidara glanced at him and then flicked his eyes back to the screen. "Do I have to tell you?"

"No."

"I ran away from home."

Itachi let out a sigh. "Somehow I'm not surprised. What for?"

"Why should I tell you hmm?"

"You don't have to- I don't really care," Itachi said in a nonchalant tone, reaching for a stick of dango.

"…They don't respect my views on art- simple as that un. The freakin' bastards!" Deidara didn't realize he was glaring until the T.V. he was staring at suddenly blew up. Bits of mechanical pieces rained down on them. _Whoops…_He slowly looked at the raven who was sure to be furious.

But to his surprise, Itachi only continued to munch on his sweet treat, eyeing him out the corner of his eye. "I have to say…I've never seen _that _happen before…"

"Wha-? Shouldn't you be mad?" Deidara asked in disbelief.

"I don't know-" Itachi flashed him a pleasant smile. "Should I?"

Deidara lifted both brows, planting his hands on his hips. "You like dango that much?"

Itachi nodded. "It's pretty much the only thing holding me back right now."

"Ah. This is perfect blackmail un."

"I know."

"You know I'll use this against you eventually."

"Maybe. But don't and I won't kill you for ruining my source of entertainment," the raven calmly said, reaching for another dango.

Deidara tilted his head. "I thought _we _were your source of entertainment," he said, referring to himself and the two sleeping kids.

"Fine. My _other _source of entertainment."

"…" A grin spread across Deidara's face. "Thanks Itachi hmm. But you're still a bastard."

Itachi looked up with a smirk. "And you're still a pubescent brat."

A vein popped. "Shut the hell up…"

Itachi took the clean stick out of his mouth, corners of his lips lifting. "Make me."

Deidara let out a small cry as the dango stick stabbed him in the head, holding the now bleeding spot. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You look even uglier with a sullen face," Itachi mused, crossing his arms. "Angry suits you much better."

Deidara felt his eye start to twitch. "_Itachi…_"

Itachi was already expecting Deidara to lunge and was easily able to pin him to the ground in front of the couch. He twisted the blonde's arm behind him, digging his knee into the struggling boy's back with a sadistic shine in his eye and grin. "You thought you would win with _that_? Just what rank are you?"

"Urgh!" Deidara flailed in the raven's iron grasp, turning his head back to glare at him. "Special Jounin un!" He quickly pitched to the side, carrying both their weights before kicking the other teen in the stomach and rolling away. "So don't go around thinking I'm weak-" he started to say while getting to his feet. He stopped when he noticed that Itachi was no where to be seen.

Until he appeared beside him and knocked him to the floor once again. Itachi stepped on his ribs, leeringly leaning forward with a smile. "Anbu Black Ops. You'll have to be a genius to beat me."

"You don't need a genius to beat a jerk like you!"

"Well you certainly don't need one to beat _you_."

"Shut up!" Deidara swiped the raven's feet out from under him, scoffing as Itachi fell onto his back. "You talk too much."

"What?" Itachi stared at him. "That's you!"

"It is not!"

"What are you talking about? You're the only one who talks in this house half the time!"

"Really un? Because it sounds like you're the one blabbering away hmm!"

"Nii-san…? Deidara-nii…?"

Both teens started, caught off guard. They looked over to the doorway where a pajama clad Sasuke and Naruto stood, the latter looking like the living dead.

A chill ran up Itachi and Deidara's spine.

"W-What's with that look?" Deidara muttered.

Sasuke sleepily rubbed the corner of one eye. "Nii-san, Deidara-nii…go to sleep already."

"Mmph!" Naruto nodded in agreement."Sasuke and I can't sleep if you guys are throwing a party without us."

Deidara and Itachi sweatdropped. _Throwing a party? _

"Yeah. Next time invite us," Sasuke pouted, yawning shortly afterwards.

Itachi sighed, slowly climbing off Deidara and brushing himself down. "Right. We're sorry. Now go to bed."

Deidara also got to his feet, albeit more energetically. "Yeah~! We'll be extra quiet for the rest of the night hmm. And tomorrow we can go to the park!"

Sasuke and Naruto's eyes immediately widened in excitement. "R-Really?"

"Er-" The older blonde scratched the back of his neck. "If Ita-kun wants," he said in a sweet voice. He blatantly ignored the seething glare being sent his way via Itachi.

"OK! Come on Naru- let's go to bed," Sasuke said with a smile to his best friend, dragging him back to the room they shared.

The two were left in an almost awkward silence, broken only by the sound of a fuse from the broken television set sparking.

"Well…" Deidara cleared his throat, cheeks flushed in a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. "I'm going to get some sleep too un."

Itachi glanced from the younger teen to the electrical mess in the center of the room. "_Right…_"

"…"

"I guess it's safe to say you won't be helping me clean this up?" Itachi lightly inquired.

"Sounds about right," Deidara said with a hint of a smirk, turning to go.

Itachi folded his arms. "Fine. I'll come in later then. Just don't take all the covers you stupid pig."

Deidara glared over his shoulder. "I'll make sure to you freakin' whale. We'll settle this tomorrow _Itachi_."

Itachi turned his nose up. "Bring it Dei-da-ra."*

"Hmph!" The Iwa-nin half-heartedly flung a hand back as a wave, stalking out of the living room and down the hall.

Itachi waited for the blonde's presence to leave completely before unfolding his arms and allowing a small smile to spread across his face. "Idiotic brats…all of them..."

* * *

**A/N: Whew! End of week two! See? Itachi's not completely heartless :)**

**Not that he ever was *cough***

**Third week?**


	3. Week 3

**A/N: I'm really sorry for the late update- but here's week three! **

**Thanks for the great reviews by the way ^v^ They really make a person's day!**

**This one's a little on the short side so sorry for that. But I still hope you enjoy it :D**

**Warning: Language, Violence, innuendos, and slight OOC (they're kids- leave me alone! :D)**

* * *

Itachi found this was how most of his morning were.

He'd wake up, punch Deidara, have Deidara sic Naruto and Sasuke on him, take a shower, have said shower interrupted by those three annoying brats, try and eat breakfast, have Shisui barging in, and then leave the Uchiha Compound for a much unwanted adventure.

Much like the night he fought with Deidara. After he had trudged back to his room with glass shards in his face and dust on his body, he found Deidara sitting in the middle of his bed with Naruto and Sasuke around him. And the older blonde was sculpting a _giant _mountain of clay.

Itachi paused in his doorway. "What are you doing?"

"Oh- Itachi-nii!" Naruto exclaimed. "You're back!"

"I never went anywhere," Itachi grumbled, walking over to the bed. "And didn't you brats say you were trying to sleep? Why are you here?" He cast Deidara a suspicious look and the teen simply responded with a smirk before smoothing the sides of his creation down.

Sasuke raised a hand to answer. "We were going to back to our rooms but then Shisui mugged us in the hall."

Itachi blinked. "What?" _What in the world is WRONG with these people? _A vein began to throb. "How did Shisui get in?"

Deidara lifted a hand, staring at his mountain and molding it with his other one. "I let him in un."

"Yeah! And then Deidara-nii came and saved us!" Naruto cheered. "Isn't he the best?"

"_Yes..._" Itachi slowly said. "He most certainly is the best..." _new subject to test my new Sharingan on._

"Huh? What's wrong nii-san?" Sasuke asked with his head tilted to the side.

Itachi was about to answer when Deidara suddenly clapped his hands, a satisfied look on his face. "There! It's done!"

Naruto and Sasuke stared in awe while Itachi merely crossed his arms. "And what is that supposed to be? It looks like a giant cone."

Deidara's eyes flashed. "It's Mt. Fuji!"

Itachi gazed at the white mountain for a long time, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I'm getting the impression you made this to make up for your lack of something else."

"Wha-?" The blonde teen flushed. "Yeah right Itachi un!" He slid off the bed, motioning to the two younger kids. "Come on Naru-chan, Sasu-kun. We're going to get some water."

The thirteen year old raven watched as they walked by. "What about me?" he asked. "Am I not allowed to get water too?"

Deidara looked at him over his shoulder. "You'll never drink in my house again!"

"Ha?" Itachi's head conked to the left. _What the heck...? _"This is MY house!"

"Whatever hmm!"

And then the three left him on his own, with the giant cone on his bed.

Out in the hallway Sasuke, who was faithfully padding after Deidara, asked, "Are we really going to get water?"

"What?" Deidara looked down at him with a smile. "Of course not." He clapped his hands together. "You two wanna see a show?"

"Hai!" they chirped.

Deidara's hands formed into his seal of release. "Hahahaha! KATSU!"

Naruto and Sasuke had never seen such pretty fireworks before. Especially with Itachi as the star of the exhibition.

"I call it 'DIE ITACHI' and some other things kids your age shouldn't hear un," Deidara said from behind them.

"Oh it's very professional," Naruto commented.

"Yes, I like it very much," Sasuke said.

Itachi came blazing out the fire that was in his room. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU BRATS ON?"

* * *

**Day one: _Cut it Off (what?)_**

Naruto yawned and walked into the bathroom. "Ohaiyo Itachi-nii- Whoa!" he exclaimed as Itachi faced him.

"What?" Itachi irritably asked.

"It's so long!"

"_What?"_

Naruto lunged forward, holding the end in his hand. "It's really, _really _long!"

Itachi flushed and pushed the devil spawn away. "Do you mind?"

Sasuke rubbed the corner of his eye, walking into the small room a moment later. "Ohaiyo Naru-chan, nii-san- Whoa!" He dropped his hand, staring wide-eyed at his brother. "Did it get longer?"

Itachi's eye twitched.

Deidara wandered in a second after, scratching his neck. "Ohaiyo Naru-chan, Sasuk-kun, Itachi un- holy shit!" His face flushed and he averted his gaze. "It's…really pretty hmm…"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. I tell him all the time."

"I've never seen it completely out before though," Naruto said. "But now that I have it's amazing! And I wanna touch it again!"

"Do you idiots know what you're saying?" Itachi asked in exasperation. "I'll just put it back-"

"No!" Deidara leapt at him. "Yours may be nice but mine is way longer! And better!"

Itachi felt a nerve twitch at this. "Yours….is not better."

"Yes it is un," Deidara said before sticking out his tongue.

Itachi grabbed the tip of his tongue with his fingers. "No it's not!"

"Mmph! Ow!"

"It's true," Sasuke suddenly spoke up. "Mine used to be just as long."

Naruto shook his head in agreement. "Mine too. But it was Itachi-nii who got jealous and chopped it off. That's why mine is so short now."

Sasuke reached a hand to touch his own. "Same with me. Naru-chan, did he come at you with a knife too?"

"Hmm…yep!"

Deidara stared horrified at the teen holding him in place. _He's off his rocker! _

Itachi abruptly released him and turned around, puling his hair into his usual ponytail. "Hn. Be careful Dei-da-ra…or else you might end up with hair just like them."

Sasuke and Naruto bobbed their heads in unison.

Deidara stared some more. "You're crazy! That's illegal isn't it?"

Itachi turned with a glint in his eye. "Want to find out."

"Er-" The blonde offered a smile. "No thanks un…"

* * *

**Day two: _Staring Contest. (Itachi always wins)_**

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"..Dear KAMI ITACHI YOU BASTARD!" Deidara screamed, holding his hands to his eyes. "You're not supposed to use your Sharingan!"

* * *

**Day three:** _**Phone Call (like father like son)**_

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Itachi stalked over and picked up the phone, annoyed by the usual chaos that was the Uchiha household. "Who the hell is it?"

"_Your father."_

"Ah-! Mushi-mushi!" Itachi cheerfully said.

"_Hmph."_

"…So…" Itachi tried to break the awkward silence. "Was there anything you needed?"

"_No. Your mother wanted me to call and see how things were while she- well what she's doing is of no concern to you!"_

The oldest Uchiha raised a brow at the phone. Was it just him…or did his father sound…_flustered?_ Itachi twitched, a chill running down his spine. Suddenly he didn't care how his parent's vacation was coming. But if they came back with another Uchiha, there was going to be some problems.

"…"

"…"

"_How are you treating my house anyway?"_

Again the thirteen year old raven raised a brow. "Our house is fine."

"_Right. Well if I come back and _my_ house is in any deformed shape like your left toe, there will be consequences to pay."_

Itachi subconsciously looked down at his left toe. "But my toe isn't deformed…."

"_You sounded hesitant."_

_Of course! You just insulted a part of my body you can't even see! _Itachi raged on the inside.

"_Is there something happening behind my back that I don't know about?"_

Itachi stared as a clay creature went crawling into his kitchen. "No. Everything's perfectly fine."

An explosion echoed throughout the house, large pillars of smoke billowing from the kitchen exit. Now he could have sworn Sasuke and Naruto were in there…

"_What was that?"_

"We decided to watch a movie on the Third Great Ninja War."

"_They made movies on that?"_

"Apparently…" Itachi muttered.

"_By the way- Shisui gave your mother and I some very interesting flyers some time back."_

Itachi felt a slowly feeling of dread creep over him. "Is that so?"

"_I don't care what your life dream is. You're going to work in the police force until you die. And if all you want to do with your youth is waste it away on selling fruits, then you might as well kill the entire clan and run away to some top-notch organization that wants world domination. Understand?"_

"Hai…" Itachi politely answered. _One: That doesn't sound like a bad idea. And two: Need to kill Shisui. _He stuck out his foot as Deidara ran by, averting his gaze when the blonde glared accusingly at him from the floor.

"Who are you talking to un?" he loudly whispered.

Itachi rolled his eyes and mouthed the words, 'My father'.

"Oh." Deidara bounced to his feet, smirked, and cooed, "See you later Ita-kun~!"

Itachi shot daggers into his back the entire time he dashed down the hall.

"_Who was that?"_

"Shisui didn't tell you about my wife?" Itachi asked.

"_You have a wife?"_ It was as if the sarcasm had completely flown over the man's head.

"Nevermind. When will you and kaa-san be back?" Itachi wanted nothing more than to end the conversation. He inwardly sighed when Sasuke crawled out the smoke-filled kitchen, gasping for air- only to be knocked face first into the ground by Naruto who was also trying to reach the exit. "Idiots…"

"_What?"_

"When are you coming-"

"_You dare question your father? Foolish son of mine- don't you ever talk back again. Send Shisui my happy regards."_

_What a freak. _Itachi thoughtfully hung up and then turned around, looking at his brother and idiot friend. "Hm. Foolish little brother. Naruto-no-baka….They have a nice ring."

* * *

**Day four: _Hokage Hokage (accomplices)_**

"Ah Deidara-kun, it's been quite some time since I've last seen you."

Deidara respectfully bowed his head and then smirked. "I've been busy keeping Ita-kun in check."

Itachi inwardly scowled but kept a straight face nonetheless, even as his Hokage turned a dark eye onto him.

"Itachi-kun…"

"Hai."

"You've been out of line lately…" The Third Hokage mused. "Good thing you've got such a reliable young man here by your side!"

Deidara grinned. "Oh Hokage-sama, you flatter too much!"

Itachi felt his neck crick. _That moron's hardly a young man….and why is that brat suddenly being so respectful? _

"Anyhow," the Hokage said after he and Deidara were done laughing with one another. 'What brings you to my office?"

"Ah." Deidara cleared his throat. "Since Sasu-kun and Naru-chan can't be left alone but expenses are hard to pay right now, we were wondering if we could take on a high-paying mission and leave the kids in your care. It's hard to want to take care of them but not be able to hmm…"

Itachi gave him a look at the blonde's outrageous acting skills. Surely his Hokage wouldn't fall for something so-

"Alright!" The Hokage happily said. "You can bring them in here whenever you need to! I'll check up on a mission for you two and see what I can do!"

Deidara graciously bowed. "Thank you Hokage-sama. You're a good man."

"As are you."

Itachi rolled his eyes. Dear Kami this was getting to be too much. "Okay, thanks Hokage-sama. Deidara, we're leaving."

"Sheesh! Okay Mr. Grumpy Pants!" Deidara teased, beginning to walk out. "See you later Hiruzen."

"OK!"

_WTF? _Itachi blinked in disbelief. _Hoe can he get off addressing him so formally? This damn manipulator! _he growled under his breath, following the bouncing Iwa-nin.

"Oh and Deidara-!"

The blonde and raven turned back around.

The Third Hokage smiled. "Make sure to put Itachi n his place if he ever acts up again."

Deidara smirked. "Will do un."

Itachi's eyebrow quirked.

* * *

**Day five: _New Jutsu (who else would he use it on?)_**

"Hey Shisui…"

"Ah! Itachi-kun, my favorite cousin!"

"You say that every time…" Itachi said with a vein throbbing.

"Sure!" His cousin cheerfully chirped. "Well what brings you to my humble abode-"

"TSUYOKSOMI!"

"AHHHHH! ITACHI-KUN WHY?"

"You just piss me off!" Itachi exclaimed before starting to laugh, knowing that his cousin wouldn't be able to hear him.

Deidara blinked and then faced the cackling raven. "I'm beginning to think you have some slight issues un."

* * *

**Day six: _Family Dinners (pretty disfunctional)_**

"Ita-kun, pass me the salt un."

Itachi stoically kept to himself, chewing on the same piece of teriyaki chicken.

Deidara's eye twitched. "Would you pass the salt un?"

Itachi didn't answer.

They sat with Itachi and Naruto on one side and Deidara and Sasuke on the other. Since yesterday after another petty argument in the bathroom, all four had been ignoring one another. But now that it was dinner, the two younger kids seemed to have forgotten. Even Deidara. Everyone had moved on except for the victim of the teasing.

Itachi himself.

Was there any particular reason _why _they found it necessary to gang up on him every morning?

"Uchiha-kun…." Deidara said in a deadly tone.

"…"

"PASS ME THE FRICKIN' SALT UN!"

In his uproar he hand had hit the end of his plate, causing it to fling up over to the other side of the table. Or rather…Itachi's lap.

Itachi's eye twitched.

Deidara stifled loud laughter, gasping into his hand.

The first vein that had been throbbing was now joined by another. Itachi felt his fingers clenching. "Dei-da-ra…"

"Hey nii-san," Sasuke flippantly said. "Could you pass the salt?"

"Yeah. Did anyone ever tell you that you suck at cooking?" Naruto loudly complained. "My mouth's bland."

Deidara's laughter got harder and harder to hold back, cheeks flushed.

Itachi glared at the idiotic demon spawn. "Naruto. If you don't want to end up with your plate up your ass, then I suggest you stop talking."

Sasuke kicked his brother in the shin. "You jerk! Don't be mean just because he tells you the truth!"

"Wha-? I'll KILL YOU BRATS!"

Deidara laughed and couldn't stop for the rest of the night. Even as Itachi chased the three of them with a knife.

* * *

**Day Seven: _Mission (Dear Kami- another one appears?)_**

"ITACHI UN!"

Itachi snapped his head up at the urgent call, sliding out his bed and racing down the hall. It was the middle of the night so he knew something must have been wrong when he noticed Deidara wasn't beside him and clinging to his arm like the leech he was.

He could tell Sasuke and Naruto had been woken as well but made a firm point to seal them inside the room.

Itachi skidded to a halt in his living room, a kunai already in hand. His eyes widened.

Deidara looked up from where he was awkwardly trapped beneath a certain smiling, silver-haired shinobi. "Itachi- he came out of nowhere and tried to rip my shirt off because he thinks I'm a girl! Tell him he's wrong un!"

"Yo," the shinobi greeted.

Itachi rolled his eyes and put the kunai away, his alarm senses dying down. "Kakashi will you get off of Deidara?"

Kakashi sighed in disappointment but did as he was told, brushing invisible dust off of him.

Deidara scowled at the other teen and climbed to his feet, fixing his off-angle shirt. "Who the heck are you un?"

"So polite," Kakashi cheerfully said. "Even if you are a guy, you're quite nice."

Deidara flushed in anger. "I'm going to kill you!"

Itachi grabbed the blonde by the back of his collar, coolly eyeing the elder shinobi. "What brings you here into my house at the darkest hour of night? And how did you get in?"

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask and put his hands on his hips. "I'm a ninja. Breaking into people's house is no hard task." He hummed in the back of his throat. "But if you really want to know…Shisui let me in."

Itachi and Deidara simultaneously twitched. _He's dead…_

"And also…" the shinobi continued. "Hokage-sama wanted me to tell you that there's a mission tomorrow for us."

Deidara stiffened. "Us?"

Kakashi nodded. "Us."

"Dear Kami…" Deidara started to mutter.

Itachi grabbed the blonde's lower elbow to stop him from spazzing. Because Kami knows that he does that in the daytime when he's awake and in the half-asleep state he's in at the moment, Itachi wasn't sure what the Iwa-nin would do. He was not having an explosion in his house this late at night. "Right well Kakashi, we'll meet up tomorrow morning at the front gate and you can explain the details there. How does that sound?"

Kakashi raised a hand and turned to go. "Sounds good to me. I'll see you later Itachi. _Deidara-kun_."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, his hair having come out during their brief scuffle before Itachi arrived. "Hmph."

"Oh yeah." Kakashi stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Deidara-kun….I'm going to make your life from here on in…a living hell."

Itachi slapped a hand to his face as Deidara bristled.

He only hoped their mission wasn't too long. Because by the end of it, he knew either he or Deidara was going to snap.

_As if things couldn't get any worse, _Itachi thought to himself. _I'm going to find a wall. _

"I'm going to find a wall," Deidara suddenly said. "And bang my head into it un."

Itachi held out a hand. "Hey wait. I was going to first!"

"Dibs!"

"Deidara!" Itachi called as they raced through the house.

Sasuke and Naruto pouted and banged on the bedroom door as the two older teens raced by. "Hey nii-san! Let us out already!"

"Shut up and go to sleep!" Itachi shouted through the wall.

* * *

**A/N: Er- yeah...it probably wasn't as good as an ending but...I hope you liked it anyway!**

**Who knows...at this rate it might turn into a year =P!**


	4. Week 4

**A/N: I am sorry for the extended wait! Let's just say things were VERY busy during these last few weeks. But if you checked my profile recently, I will be updating ALL unfinished stories some time this week so look out for that ^v^**

**And enjoy the chapter :)**

**Warning: Slight OOC, some violent talk, the usual (:D)**

* * *

Itachi and Deidara staggered into the main Uchiha household late into the night, covered head to toe in dirt and muck, gasping for air.

Deidara looked over his shoulder. "Do you think we lost him un?"

Itachi shook his head, sucking in a deep breath and managing to choke on the mud that he sucked in with it. After several minutes of prolonged hacking and coughing, Deidara finally whacked him on the back and ended both their problems. Itachi could now breathe and Deidara got the chance to take his stress out on someone else.

"That was the worst mission ever!" Deidara exclaimed a moment later as they headed for the bathroom to clean up.

"I know. What kind of teammate is Hatake Kakashi?" Itachi said.

"What kind of _name _is Hatake Kakashi?" Deidara said back.

They both exchanged a glance before nervously chuckling.

It was better if they didn't speak of the mission after all.

Sasuke greeted them at the bathroom door, holding out two towels and a soap bar. "You two look really bad."

"Shut up foolish little brother," Itachi said, gratefully taking one of the towels.

Deidara raised a brow, a bit more wary than the thirteen year old raven. "How did you know we would need these un?" he asked the tiny Uchiha.

Sasuke shrugged, jabbing a thumb behind him. "Some guy using our bathtub told me you would."

Both Deidara and Itachi stared.

Sasuke stared back.

Naruto walked out the bathroom a minute later, zipping up his pajama shorts which for some odd reason actually _had _a zipper. "Itachi-nii, Deidara-nii, there's someone in the bathroom for you."

"NANI?"

Itachi grabbed Naruto and Sasuke by their shirts, starting to book it down the hall. "Deidara," he barked over his shoulder. "Baricade the door and blow him up!"

Deidara saluted, already molding clay in his palms. "Aye-aye captain!"

Itachi slid behind their living room couch, pushing the younger kids behind him and peering out behind it as a loud explosion rang throughout the house and Deidara's cackling filled the halls. "Yes!" Itachi cheered.

Sasuke and Naruto followed suit, not really knowing why they were cheering but wanting to join in. "Yatta! We did it!" they cheered.

"Hooray! Hooray!" a fourth voice joined in.

Itachi froze, lips puckered. He slowly cranked his head around to where a silver-haired shinobi was crouched beside him, smiling brightly under his mask.

Kakashi gave him a thumbs up. "That was a great explosion! But...what was it for?"

The next morning the Hokage wondered why the son of the White Fang was hanging upside down from the top of his office mooning everyone down below. And then he brushed it off, simply because he thought it made a very nice decoration.

* * *

**Day one: _Summer Heat (causes hallucinations and OOC behavior)_**

Itachi blankly stared at nothing, the dark blue sky above him vast and summer sun beating down on him from his position. Deidara was lying a little ways in front of him, his face just as red from the heat as Itachi's.

"…"

"…"

"Hmm….I'm bored Itachi un."

Itachi looked over at the blonde teen from where he lay, arms behind his head and really feeling too tired to get up, much less answer. "So…what do you want me to do about it?"

Deidara tilted his head back, staring at him from his upside down angle. "I don't know. But you should do something soon. Your brother and Naruto have already gone nuts," he said, lazily pointing up at the sky.

Itachi followed his gaze and then sweatdropped. "I think you've gone nuts Deidara… those are clouds."

"Are they really…?"

Itachi peered at the sky, suddenly unable to tell what really existed and what didn't. "I- I think so."

"…"

"…"

"Dammit- I don't know!" Itachi cried, getting to his feet. He stood in silence for several seconds and then reached over and hauled Deidara to his feet as well.

Over on the back porch with his cheeks flushed from the heat, Sasuke sat with his legs folded, watching with large eyes as his older brother and Deidara started throwing kunai up into the air.

Naruto walked up beside him, four popsicles in his hands, also watching with equally large eyes. "What are they doing?"

"I don't know…" Sasuke said. "But all that stuff is going to have to come back down eventually."

"You mean like that?" Naruto jabbed his finger at the two teens currently under attack from themselves as their kunai rained down from the sky.

"GYAAAAHHHHHH!"

Naruto and Sasuke blinked.

"Here," Naruto said, handing Sasuke the dripping popsicles. "You give these to them. I'll be back!" he said, turning on his heel.

Sasuke pushed to his feet, eyeing his best friend. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna get some towels so they can clean the blood off the yard," Naruto cheerfully answered.

"OK!" Sasuke waved and started heading down to where Itachi and Deidara were lying on the ground, body full of kunai. He thoughtfully hummed and then looked over his shoulder. "Naruto!" he called. "Get a band-aid or two while you're at it!"

* * *

**Day two:_ Shisui's Cat (apparently it's dead)_**

"My, my," Shisui said with a laugh, hands on his hips as he looked his cousin and blonde friend over. "What did you two do to yourselves?"

Deidara scowled and averted his gaze. "Nothing hmm." Never mind the fact that both he and Itachi were wrapped head to toe in gauze.

"How did you even get in here?" Itachi asked from where he was sitting on his bed beside Deidara. His younger brother and bimbo Naruto decided to try and lock them into his room to recover from their self-inflicted wounds (it was the heat dammit!) seeming to forget the fact that the lock was on the _inside _of the room.

Shisui took the chair from Itachi's desk and pulled it up to the bed. "I used the front door. Now tell me something," he said with a pleasant smile. "Why is it, that when I woke up this morning, I found a dead cat in my bed?" There was a dark aura surrounding him.

Itachi slowly blinked and then shot an accusing glare at Deidara.

"What? It wasn't _me_!" the blonde defensively said. "You're the one that came back with several whiskers and a leg last night un!"

"What? You're the one that came back with the tail!"

"Wasn't it you who had the pupils in a jar hmm?"

"….Yes. But if I recall, you had the claws and fur in a plastic bag."

"Yeah well that was a different cat from Shisui-kun's," Deidara grumbled.

"Oh- mine was too," Itachi said after a moment.

They nodded their heads and then turned their attention back to a slightly horrified Shisui. "It wasn't us," they said.

"You guys…" Shisui jumped out of the chair and inched towards the door. "Psychos! I'm taking Naruto and Sasuke with me for the rest of the day!"

Itachi and Deidara offered cheerful waves of goodbye. They waited until they were positive Shisui had left and taken the two kids with them before relaxing and leaning back against the headboard.

"Geez," Deidara let out a sigh of exasperation. "I can't believe he actually believes us un."

"I didn't feel like using my Sharingan," Itachi said back. "So it's good he's so gullible."

They sat in silence for a little longer.

And then Itachi pushed Deidara out the bed.

"Ow un! What was that for?" The blonde cried out.

Itachi didn't bother looking at him, opting to pull out a novel from under his pillow. "We were getting along too well."

"Bastard!"

* * *

**Day three: _Greeting Friends (what friends?)_**

_Knock Knock_

Itachi tiredly shuffled to the door, rubbing the corner of his closed eye. Who dared disturb the Uchiha main household so early in the morning? It wasn't after breakfast yet! He didn't bother to look through the peephole, opening the door with a completely deadpan look.

Kakashi smiled, raising a hand. "Ohai-"

Itachi shut the door.

"…"

"…"

Itachi turned away, walking back down the hall. He passed his blonde roommate along the way who only grunted a greeting to him as he slouched by. "Don't answer the door Deidara," Itachi said without looking.

"OK un."

_Knock Knock Knock_

Deidara shrugged and went to answer the door. Curiosity was an amazing thing. He opened it with a yawn. "Who is-"

"Ah Deidara-kun! Nice to-"

Deidara slammed the door shut, pressing his back against it with wide eyes. "So _that's _why," he muttered to himself.

Kakashi stared at the closed door. "Er- let me just try again…" he said, putting his smile back on. "They're all probably just very tired."

Deidara hurriedly went down the hall, presumably to the kitchen to find food. He passed two very short kids along the way, making sure to look over his shoulder and say, "Sasu-kun, Naru-chan, don't open the door okay?"

Sasuke and Naruto bobbed their heads in unison. "Hai…"

_Knock Knock Knock Knock_

Sasuke exchanged a questioning glance with his best friend and together they went to open the door, peeking out the tiny crack. They looked up at the grinning shinobi with the mask.

"Hi there little kiddies-"

They shut the door without so much another look.

Kakashi felt a tiny (a very tiny because he was never angry) vein pop near his temple.

Deidara sat across from Itachi at the table in the kitchen. "You know Kakashi's out there un?"

"That's why I told you not to answer the door," Itachi sighed, putting the box of cereal in between them. "Is my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka awake yet?"

Deidara had yet to figure out the reasoning behind the sudden nicknames for the children of the house, but he wasn't about to question the mental state of Itachi just yet. "Mmhm. I passed them when I was coming here and told them not to open the door too."

"We did anyway," Sasuke said as he and Naruto walked in, taking their usual positions at the table. "Nii-san, did you know there's a strange man out there holding a bomb?"

"_Yes _foolish little-" Itachi paused. "What did you say?"

Naruto nonchalantly grabbed the cereal box out of a frozen Deidara's hand, pouring himself and Sasuke some breakfast. "He _said_ there was a creepy man with a mask on trying to set a bomb off at the front door."

Deidara and Itachi looked at one another at the same time. "Dammit!"

Luckily the bomb was defective. So Kakashi only managed to blow himself up.

The four inside the Uchiha Household thought they were some very nice fireworks.

* * *

**Day four: _Sasuke and Naruto (sleeping habits)_**

"Sasuke?"

Naruto had woken up long ago in the night to use the bathroom, only having run into the hallway walls twice and get his foot stuck in the toilet once. And that was as he was flushing it this time. And now as he came back into the dark bedroom he shared with Sasuke (something about preserving space despite the fact that they had eight spare rooms), he thought it would be best to wake his friend up so they could sabotage Itachi and Deidara.

This would have been a perfect plan had it not been for the fact that Sasuke wasn't waking up.

Naruto frowned and poked the raven's cheek again. "Saasuukee….come on. I have this great idea to tell you."

Sasuke remained dead as a door nail, staring up at the ceiling with open eyes.

Naruto decided to poke his eye socket next. "Hey! Sasuke come on!"

Sasuke didn't move.

The tiny blonde rocked back on his heels, humming the in the back of his throat thoughtfully. "Well he's either dead or really bad at sleeping," he said aloud. The words he spoke only sunk in after he had said it. Naruto blinked with suddenly large eyes and leaned worriedly over the bed. "Kami-chan he's dead!"

He poked, slapped, punched, even pinching Sasuke's face (which was his worst pet peeve) , still getting no response. All the while calling the boy's name.

It was only _after _he threw the lamp at him that Sasuke shot up in bed. "Ow! Why'd you do that?"

"You're…alive?" Naruto asked with his head tilted to the side. He lowered the sledge hammer he planned to used next.

Sasuke rubbed his forehead, trying to put down the ache beginning to rise. "Of course I am baka. I was awake before you even went to use the bathroom."

Naruto bounced on the edge of the bed. "But why didn't you answer?"

"I fell asleep," Sasuke said with a noncommitical shrug.

"With your _eyes _open?"

"Yup."

"…"

"…"

"Well next time sleep with your eyes closed! I thought I lost you!" Naruto cried, nearly suffocating his friend in a hug.

Sasuke patted his head comfortingly. "Silly Naru-chan. If anyone was to die first, it'd be you."

Naruto bobbed his head in agreement and then paused. _WTF? _

* * *

**Day five:_ Deidara and Itachi (sleeping habits)_**

"Hey Itachi un…?"

"What do you want Deidara?"

"The covers. And my pillow back."

"No."

Deidara kicked him in the shin. "You have _three_."

Itachi kicked him back. "Because they keep my head elevated. Now go to sleep."

"On _what_?" The blonde huffed, making a big show of rolling over to glare at the raven. "Your head doesn't need to be elevated un. It's already big enough."

"My head? Have you seen yours? It's like you're growing two."

Deidara whacked him in the face with an arm as he was 'stretching'. "What was that? Do you _want _a bomb under your bed hmm?"

"Are you an idiot?" Itachi finally tore his glare from the ceiling to the Iwa-nin beside him, rubbing his nose. "You'd blow us both up."

Deidara 'stretched' again. "So what? I'd _like _to become my art."

"Deidara if you don't stop 'stretching' your arm, I'll kick you out this room," Itachi growled, massaging his nose again.

"Well give me my pillow and I won't have to 'stretch' anymore hmm."

"Somehow I doubt that. You'd find a reason to 'stretch' anyway."

"You won't know until you give it back un."

"Why are you so annoying?"

"Why are you?"

Itachi gave up, rolling onto his side and turning his back to the blonde. "I'm going to ignore you now."

Deidara smirked. "I'd like to see you try."

"…"

"Hey Itachi."

"…"

"Itachi un."

"…"

"I-ta-chi."

Itachi felt a vein begin to throb, fingers clenching on the end of the blanket he stubbornly held up to his chin.

"Itachi un!"

"…" His fingers tightened even more.

"Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi-"

The thirteen year old raven was practically ripping holes in his blankets. "Dei-da-ra…?

Deidara smiled, pleased he had gotten a word out of the other teen. "Yes un?"

"Damare you baka!"

"No! Bi zui!"

"Drz hubu! Go to bed!"

"Tais-toi hmm! And give me back my pillow!"

"Cupa raho! What is it with you and this pillow?"

"Stai zitto un! You wouldn't know if it smacked you in the head like the Hokage's garbage truck and dumped you off to some far away sea where you got eaten by a giant man shark with an even bigger ass sword before drowning in a coral reef-"

"Dagchyeo! Kami put a sock in it already…"

"Tempera! Because _I _always get the last words no matter what!"

Itachi paused red-faced the same time Deidara did, both glaring in anger.

"…SHUT UP ALREADY!"

And then Naruto started shouted Sasuke's name.

"You're brother sounds like he's dead un," Deidara grouched.

"So?" Itachi muttered.

"Hmph. Jerk."

"You're an idiot."

The rest of the night was spent in an aggravated silence. In fact, this was how most of their nights were spent.

* * *

**Day six: _Vitamins (and their aftereffects)_**

Deidara waved at Sasuke and Naruto as he entered the kitchen. "Ohaiyo you two."

"Ohaiyo Deidara-nii," they chirped.

The blonde teen sat cross-legged at the table, resting his chin in the back of his hand and studying the two as they helped each other with breakfast.

Sasuke's dark eyes flickered up to regard him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Deidara answered after a moment. He then noticed a medium sized plastic bottle sitting in the center of the table. "What's that un?"

Naruto reached out to grab it. "Our vitamins. Itachi-nii says we should take them everyday."

"Un? Then how come I've never seen it before today?"

"We ran out about a month ago," Sasuke said as he divided a stack of pancakes between him and the younger blonde. "Right before you came…"

"But suddenly he remembered and this was here this morning." Naruto thanked his best friend and then turned his bright blue eyes to Deidara. "Did you want to see it?"

Deidara, his curiosity peaked, nodded. "I'll try one while I'm at it hmm."

"Ah- you don't need to take those," Sasuke told him, pushing the bottle away from Naruto who gave it to the older blonde.

"We don't ever take them," Naruto said, pouring milk in his cup. "Itachi thinks we do but we always put them back. He's really bad at noticing for a shinobi."

Deidara cocked his head to the side. "Why don't you take them though?"

"Vitamins make you die," Sasuke said, stabbing his pancake.

Deidara looked down at the container of pills thoughtfully. "Really now?"

Itachi walked in a minute later. "What are you guys doing?"

Deidara handed the bottle to him with a cheerful smile. "Make sure you eat plenty of vitamins Itachi un!"

"Why?" The raven suspiciously eyed him.

"Because they're good for you," Sasuke said.

"Yeah and they make you stronger," Naruto added.

* * *

**Day seven: _One Month (Itachi begs to differ)_**

Sasuke looked up at his older brother from where he was walking down the village street, a question coming to the back of his head as he noticed Sakura and her mom shopping. "Hey nii-san?"

Itachi spared him a glance, trying to keep an eye on the hyperactive Deidara and Naruto-no-baka at the same time. "What is it, foolish little brother?"

"When are tou-san and kaa-san coming back?"

Itachi blinked. That was a _very _good question. How long had it been since they last left on their supposed 'vacation'? A week or two? Maybe three. Well it didn't matter anyway. They would definitely be back before a month was up. "It doesn't matter much," he finally said, dragging Naruto away from the pet store by the back of his shirt. "They'll be here at the end of the month."

Sasuke took custody of his best friend and went to address his brother again. "So they'll be gone for two months? Is their vacation really that long and far away?"

"What are you talking about foolish little brother. It hasn't even been a month yet," Itachi told him, pointedly looking away.

"Yes it has," Sasuke said with a frown.

"No…it hasn't."

"Yes it has!"

"Sasuke?"

"Nii-san?"

"Shut up."

Deidara came up beside him. "What's this hmm?"

Sasuke immediately went to the older blonde's side. "Nii-san thinks it hasn't been a month since our parents left for vacation. But it has."

"Hmm…" Deidara put a finger to his chin in thought. "You're right un. Itachi?"

"What?" Itachi has scooted as far away as possible on the road.

"It's been a month."

"Stop saying that."

"But it's true un."

"No it's not."

Deidara stopped walking, putting his hands on his hips and staring the thirteen year old raven down. "Why are you in denial about it? It's not a big deal."

Itachi begged to differ. If his parents didn't come back after one month, who was to say they would be back after two? Or three? And if they never came back he would be stuck with people like Deidara, Naruto, and Sasuke for the rest of his life! He didn't want to die with those three at his deathbed!

"_Nii-san, you were a good man," Sasuke sobbed into his bed sheet. _

_Deidara snorted. "No he wasn't."_

"_Yeah, cut the act out already Sasuke," Naruto scolded. "Let's go get some ramen instead!"_

"_OK~!"_

_Itachi held out a withering hand as the three skipped away, sticking their tongues out and blowing raspberries back at him. "Wait…." he called in a hoarse voice. _

_And then he died. _

Itachi violently twitched. "No way!"

Deidara exchanged a look with Naruto and Sasuke.

"He'll never change," Naruto said.

"Probably," Sasuke agreed.

"Maybe he'll go nuts and kill everyone!" Deidara exclaimed.

All three looked at one another again and then shrugged, smiling. "Nah!"

* * *

**A/N: ^v^ Back in action Woohoo!**

**Anyway, hope you liked it :)**


	5. Chuunin Exams? What the!

**A/N: OK. So I've decided to post the chapters in the story as only one part from now on (instead of going by seven days in a week) simply because the story is actually taking a plot now (O.O)! Hope it doesn't bother you guys ^_^u**

**On the bright side! Updates might happen sooner :)**

**Warning: Language, OOC...the usual...**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto-san, not me.**

* * *

Itachi thoughtfully looked over several ads in the Daily Shinobi Newspaper, thin-framed glass perched on his nose. Sitting beside him was a half-asleep Deidara munching on a bowl of Shinobi O's and across was Sasuke and Naruto happily sharing a plate of pancakes. "Hmm…It seems as if we'll need to go on another mission today Deidara."

Deidara didn't bother to answer.

Itachi hit him over the back of the head, effectively face-planting him in his bowl of cereal. "Deidara!" he snapped.

"Itai!" The blonde shot him a poor look, milk dripping down his face. "What un?"

"_Mission_," Itachi stressed. "We're running low on money."

"When are we not?" Deidara muttered wiping his face with the back of his pajama sleeve.

Itachi paused. "Good point."

Sasuke perked up. "Hey nii-san!"

"What?"

Sasuke speared a pancake as he said, "The Hokage sent a message last night. Did you know that the…the Chewin' Exams start next week?"

Itachi slowly blinked. "The what?"

Naruto stole Sasuke's pancake off the fork and shoved it in his mouth, speaking in a muffled tone. "Bwah winja stes bwa wall-"

Itachi held up a hand. "Swallow, then talk."

Naruto gulped down the dough. "The ninja tests _dummy_," he stuck out his tongue.

Itachi raised his knife with a vein throbbing, prepared to strike the blonde brat down.

Deidara quickly intervened. "Ah- the ninja tests Naru-chan un?"

Naruto beamed at the older blonde. "Yeah! Of course you wouldn't know about it since you're not from Konoha- so I'll tell you all about it," he kindly said.

Itachi narrowed his eyes. _I'm going to kill him. Slowly. In his sleep with one of Deidara's bombs._

"Every year we have a big test," Naruto wisely said, holding up a finger. "And a whole bunch of ninja from other countries come here to raise their rank and become even _more _powerful ninjas!"

"Really un?" Deidara looked slightly interested.

Itachi scowled at his little brother. "Are you an idiot? It's the Chuunin Exams, not the 'Chewin' Exams' you baka!"

Sasuke's head lowered. "Sworry."

"And stop talking like that!"

Naruto kicked him in the shin. "Quit being mean you big jerk!"

Itachi grabbed him in a headlock. "You little _brat_!"

"Ack! Help! The beast is attackin'!"

"What was that!"

Deidara tried to pry them apart, screaming above their own shouting in the background. "BOTH OF YOU CUT IT OUT UN! I WANNA ASK A QUESTION!"

The two huffed but broke apart anyway. "What do you want?" Itachi asked while brushing himself down of imaginary dirt. Naruto blew a raspberry at the Uchiha and went back to Sasuke's side.

Deidara flipped a part of his fringe back. "These Chuunin Exams. Let's take them!"

"Why would we do that?" Itachi gave him a skeptical look. "I'm an Anbu. And you're Jounin."

"_Special _Jounin," Deidara corrected.

"-Right. Whatever." Itachi rolled his eyes and shook his head. "We don't need to take them. We'll just go on missions like we normally do."

"But that's boring hmm," Deidara whined. "I wanna meet new people un! And fight a good battle or two with my art! And if you don't let me then I'm gonna take Naru-chan and Sasu-kun with me to some sort of foreign village where we'll start of a family business using _your _name and then your tou-san-"

"Alright, alright! Shut up already!" Itachi shouted at him with his hands over his ears.

Deidara blinked. "So is that a yes?"

Itachi growled under his breath, hating how much the blonde bomber could get under his skin. "Fine. But we need a team of three to enter. And there are three parts to the test." _And I can't believe I'm taking these stupid exams again!_

"Well then let's see who we can find to join our team!" Deidara cheered, pumping a fist into the air. "Sasu-kun, Naru-chan, you two can go stay with Hiruzen while Ita-kun and I take these tests, okay?"

Sasuke and Naruto tilted their heads, almost conking them. "Hai!"

"Alright un! Let's go Itachi!" Deidara started to walk out the kitchen.

Itachi pulled him back by his hair. "Hold it right there! Don't go making decisions without my permission! And quit calling the Hokage by his first name!"

Deidara glared. "Don't be such a grouch. I'm just kind of excited that's all hmm."

Itachi sighed and rubbed his temples in aggravation. "Well don't be. Foolish little brother, Naruto-no-baka-"

They both puffed out their cheeks at him.

Itachi twitched. "You two can go with Sakura and her mother while we're gone. Understand?"

"Sure nii-san," Sasuke said.

"Whatever," Naruto waved his hand at him.

Itachi's fingers started to clench.

Luckily for the two kids, Deidara decided it was time to get ready for some recruiting and Chuunin Exam butt-kicking. "OK. I'll go get changed and take a shower-" he paused and sniffed. "You too Itachi un, and then we'll leave. When do the exams start again?"

Itachi self-consciously sniffed himself. "Day after tomorrow," he muttered.

"Then we'd better find someone quick un."

"No dip."

Sasuke and Naruto waved. "Good luck Deidara-nii!" they chorused as the Iwa nin started to walk out the kitchen.

Itachi snapped his head around. "What about me?"

"What _about _you?" Naruto said back.

Itachi grinded his teeth. "Never. Mind."

"Oh yeah," Deidara looked over his shoulder. "Why are you wearing glasses un?"

Itachi quickly took them off, throwing them over his shoulder. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"_Right_," Deidara smirked.

"Shut up."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's such a short chapter :D I hope you still liked it anyway though **

**^v^**


	6. Finding the Third Member

**A/N: See? Didn't I tell you these updates would be fast ;P**

**Not much to say except that these are really fun to write! :D So expect more ^v^**

**Warning: Not much language this time (OoO), er- OOC?**

**:D**

* * *

Deidara grinned from where they had set up a tacky looking stand, much like the food stand Itachi had made not too long ago. He placed his hands on his hips and looked around. "I'm sure glad I found the perfect spot un! We'll have people swarming around any minute now!"

Itachi felt the nerve under his eye twitch. "Dei-da-ra…." he ground out.

"Huh?" The blonde looked over to where the raven sat. "What's the matter Uchiha-kun?"

Itachi shut his eyes in annoyance so he _wouldn't _punch the bomber in the face. "Why…of all places…did you set this stand up in the center of the Uchiha Compound!"

Deidara placed his hands on his hips. "Uchiha Compound? I thought this was a part of the village hmm."

Itachi face-palmed.

"Oh well." Deidara cheekily grinned. "I'm sure we'll find _someone _to join our team for the Chuunin Exams."

"Once again, I have no idea why I agreed to this," Itachi muttered.

"Because you're just as bored as me hmm," Deidara answered. "And I sure don't wanna wait around for tou-san and kaa-san to come back from their vacation without doing anything fun."

Itachi stared at him. "Why did you just call _my _parents that?"

Deidara stared back with a stubborn look in his eye. "Because they _are _my parents."

"No they're not!" Itachi shouted with a popped vein. "I have half a mind to let you take the stupid Chuunin Exams on your own!"

"Did you say Chuunin Exams?"

Deidara and Itachi froze in their arguing at the voice, the hair on the back of their necks standing up.

They slowly turned to see who it was, a dark cloud of dread hanging over them.

A familiar shinobi with silver hair beamed at them from under his mask, casually posed in front of their stand with a freshly bought book in his hands.

Itachi offered a twitching smile. "K-Kakashi-san. What brings you here?" _I can't believe I just stuttered! _he inwardly screamed.

Kakashi thoughtfully hummed. "Oh nothing much. I was just hopping about when I noticed this nice little stand you've set up."

"Yeah right un!" Deidara pointed an accusing finger. "You're just stalking us!"

Kakashi moved close up to his face. "No I'm not, silly Dei-chan~" he cooed.

Deidara jumped back with a shriek. "Back lion, back!"

Itachi interrupted before things could get out of hand. "We're just looking for a third member to join our team so we can do the Chuunin Exams," he blabbered before he could stop himself. _Holy crap! Why does this guy always make me say things I don't want to say? _He pointedly ignored the scathing glare Deidara sent him.

Kakashi's visible eye gleamed. "Oho? I thought you were an Anbu Itachi?"

"I am," Itachi said. "I'm just helping Deidara out since it's his first time and he's a Genin," he cheerfully added, holding out a hand to the blonde.

Deidara's face flushed in rage. "I AM NOT A-"

"Maa, sorry fellows," Kakashi cut the Iwa shinobi off. "As much as I'd _love _to help Dei-chan realize his lack of future potential-"

-Insert Deidara beginning to mold a bomb-

"I have some important business to attend to."

Itachi raised a brow in curiosity despite himself, smacking the clay out of Deidara's hands. "What kind of business can a sixteen year old like you have?"

Kakashi raised the book he had been holding down at his side. "Reading."

Itachi peered at the title and then promptly jumped back. "What kind of reading is that!" he exclaimed while holding a hand over his nose.

Kakashi innocently flicked through the pages. "Educational reading for mature readers. You'll see the beauty in it once you get older Itachi-san and I can't believe you just set it on FIRE!" he cried as Deidara blew it up.

Deidara shrugged unapologetically. "Whoops."

Kakashi retreated, shooting the blonde a very dirty look. "I'll get you back Dei-chan. Just you wait. You and your little bombs too!"

Itachi cleaned his nose up, eyeing Deidara as he did so. "You didn't need to go _that _far."

"I wanted too hmm." Deidara went back to glancing around the dirt roads of the Uchiha Compound. _Hmph. You'd _think_ they'd have streets of gold_.

* * *

-A few hours later-

* * *

"Do you have a seven un?"

"…No."

"…"

"..."

"..."

"Go Fish."

Deidara scowled at him. "Fine!"

* * *

-An hour after that-

* * *

"Haa? What do we have here?"

Itachi looked up with a bored expression and then blanched. Deidara was sleeping from the afternoon heat beside him. Curses! What a fine time for the blonde to take a nap! "What is it, Orochimaru?"

The pale man heaved his shoulders, giving a coy smile. "I see you're in need of another teammate for the Chuunin Exams."

Itachi forced a smile of his own. The thirty year old ninja always had a strange fascination with him and it was kind of creeping him out. "Um…"

Orochimaru leaned in. "What? You're not going to say no, are you?"

Itachi slowly started to inch back, inwardly twitching. "Um, that is to say-"

"Unfortunately there's an age limit to who we want on our team un," Deidara rudely said, having been woken from his dreams of pirating and pillaging villages in another world.

Orochimaru snapped his golden gaze to the blue-eyed teen. "Well what do we have here? Itachi-kun, you finally made a friend?"

Itachi frowned. _What's that supposed to mean? I have friends- oh. Wait a second…_

Deidara rubbed the sleep out of his eye before glaring. "You heard me the first time. We don't need you on our team."

Orochimaru was shocked by the bluntness of the blonde. "Why I never-!" he gasped. "You, young man, are a very rude little boy!"

"I'm not a little boy un," Deidara said, sticking out his tongue as if to prove how mature he was. "And you can leave now."

Orochimaru crossed his arms with a huff. "Well fine then! Maybe I will leave! In fact, why don't I just become a missing-nin and study the ways of how to become younger so all the little children will accept me into their Genin teams? And then maybe I'll try and destroy Konoha just for kicks, gather a bunch of shinobi called the Sound Five, and become leader of Otogakure just because I have an ear for music!" He paused. "And then I'll get my own personal henchman and name him 'Kabuto'!"

Deidara nodded, not really listening. "Go for it hmm."

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and then stormed away.

Deidara yawned obnoxiously and then faced a slightly traumatized Itachi. "Who _was _that guy?"

Itachi shook his head. "I'd rather not say…"

"Hey! Was that Orochimaru?" a cheerful voice called out.

Deidara's eyes lit up while Itachi cursed his bad luck that day. "Shisui-kun!"

Shisui jogged over, waving a hand in greeting. "Deidara and my favorite cousin!"

Itachi growled. "Quit calling me that."

Shisui ignored him. "Sure favorite cousin. What's this stand for? Not another food market I hope," he teased before breaking out into loud laughter.

Deidara laughed along.

"Ahahahahaha-"

"Ahahahahaunhahahun-"

"Ahahahahahaha-"

After five minutes, Itachi whipped his head up with his Sharingan activated. "Both of you SHUT UP!"

Shisui wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah…good times. _Good _times…."

Deidara pleasantly smiled at the older teen. "Shisui-kun, we're trying to find someone to join our team for the Chuunin Exams."

"Chuunin Exams?" Shisui looked over at Itachi. "Aren't you an Anbu? Or have you been demoted already? Lately the Hokage hasn't been favoring you."

_I wonder why_, Itachi sarcastically thought, shooting Deidara a glare. "I'm just here to help Deidara since he's a Genin," he said, using the same excuse he had for Kakashi.

Deidara once again opened his mouth to protest. "I AM NOT A FRICKIN'-"

"Is that so?" Shisui interrupted. "Then I'd be glad to help. Anything for such a nice fellow like Deidara."

A part of Itachi's soul died. _Please never say that again..._

Deidara suddenly perked up. "Really? You'd actually help us?"

"Sure-"

"Sorry, we're closed," Itachi said, putting a tiny sign up on the stand.

Deidara rolled his eyes and snatched the sign off. "Shut up Uchiha-kun," he hissed behind his hand. "We need a third member and Shisui is a good person to have."

"You don't know what you're talking about idiot," Itachi hissed back behind his hand. "I am _not _letting another fool onto this team. You've already filled that role."

"What? You're the fool un," Deidara shot at him. "Do you _want _me to call Kakashi back? Or how about that Orochi- dude hmm?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me hmm."

The two fiercely glared.

Shisui cleared his throat. "As much as I'd hate to interrupt your conversation," he questioningly leaned to the side. "Am I allowed to join or not?"

"No-"

"Of course un!" Deidara chirped, clamping a hand over Itachi's mouth and squashing the raven's head down onto the stand. "Just meet us outside the Uchiha Compound the day after tomorrow morning!"

Shisui bobbed his head. "Will do. Well then- Ja ne!"

He vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Deidara stared after him in envy. All he managed to swirl away in was a bunch of rocks.

Tch.

Stupid Iwa.

Itachi, currently suffocating beneath Deidara's arm, chomped down on the blonde's fingers. "Get off of me you fat little blonde monster!"

Deidara cradled his fingers with a smirk. "Sucks for you un. Shisui's already on our team- so ha!" He blew a raspberry.

Itachi's eye twitched, activating his Sharingan. "You've just annoyed me."

Deidara pivoted on his heel, cupping a hand around his mouth and shouting, "HELP UN! ITA-KUN'S GONE CRAZY AND IS ATTACKING ME~"

Itachi blinked. "What the-"

Immediately a whole mob of Uchiha's leapt from their houses to tackle and restrain the thirteen year old raven with ropes and gags.

Deidara's smirk grew and he quickly made his escape. "Later Uchiha-kun!" he called over his shoulder.

"You little BRAT! I'll get you back for this! Just you wait! Sleep with one eye open tonight- ack! My kidney!"

Itachi's cries fell on deaf ears.

* * *

The next morning, two teens prepared for some last minute training for the Chuunin Exams stepped out of the main Uchiha household, and were surprised to find flyers drifting all around the village from messenger hawks.

Itachi caught one of the flyers in his hand, brows shooting high onto his forehead. "What in the world…?" he muttered.

Deidara peered over the raven's shoulder. "What is it?"

Itachi shoved the paper at him. "Read this."

**Important** **Warning: **

**Last night a shinobi with long dark hair and pale skin stole forbidden scrolls from the Hokage before fleeing and labeling himself as a Nuke-nin. Claims to be on the lookout for a man named 'Kabuto!'. Be on the lookout for a man named Orochimaru- and don't follow him if he offers you candy! Alert the Hokage immediately!**

A picture of Orochimaru flashing a peace sign with a tourist hat on was glued to the bottom.

Deidara and Itachi exchanged a glance.

"Was that our fault?" Deidara asked, almost bewildered.

They went back to staring at the poster and then shook their heads.

"It couldn't be."

"Yeah, no way hmm."

Shisui jogged up to them a moment later, holding a flyer in one hand, also ready to get some last minute training in before the exams. "Hey- did you guys hear about Orochimaru-"

"It wasn't us!" Deidara screamed before booking it down the road. Itachi soon followed.

Shisui stared after them and the slowly shook his head. "What a pair of weird guys…"

* * *

**A/N: Ahaha...gotta love Orochimaru... :D**

**Be sure to look out for the next chapter and let me know how it is!**


	7. Sakura's Mom and the Third Hokage? Ouch

**A/N: And yet another chapter comes out. Slightly shorter than the last :)**

**The Chuunin Exams are about to start! Just...not until tomorrow.**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, OOC**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Foolish little brother! Naruto-no-baka!"

Sasuke peered out his bedroom door, a tiny suitcase in hand. "What do you want, foolish nii-san?"

Naruto stuck his head out the door too. "Yeah! Foolish nii-san! I'm tryin' to find some soap!"

A shampoo bottle smacked him in the face.

"Shut up! Don't call me that!" Itachi shouted from inside the bathroom. "And hurry up and pack!"

Deidara shoved him into the doorframe, obviously not a morning person. But considering the fact that it was the middle of the night he guessed he wasn't the type of person to mess with any time of the day. "Shut. Up. Uchiha. Kun." he growled.

Itachi rubbed his sore nose. "Why're you in a bad mood?" he asked with a slight glare.

Deidara stood over the toilet, glaring at the raven as he used the bathroom. "Because you're the idiot who woke me up at ten at night screaming about needing to get rid of Sasu-kun and Naru-chan!" he snapped. "We have the Chuunin Exams tomorrow and I was trying to get some rest hmm!"

Itachi raised a brow. "What- is your body still sore from our training this morning?"

"Training?" Deidara scowled, fixing his pants. "It was just you beating me up repeatedly until you got bored un!"

"Was it really?" Itachi looked off with a thoughtful expression.

Deidara stomped his foot. "Don't think about it like that!"

Sasuke and Naruto came to the two, their bags packed and ready to go. "Hey nii-san," Sasuke said. "Are we really going to Sakura's house this late at night?"

Itachi gave him an odd look. "Of course. Why wouldn't we?"

Naruto toothily grinned. "It's your funeral."

Itachi's neck cricked. "Come again?" A threatening cloud loomed behind him.

Naruto pulled an eyelid down and stuck out his little tongue. "Bleh!"

Sasuke looked in between the two before joining his best friend in the fun. "Bleh!"

Feeling slightly better at Itachi's obvious annoyance, Deidara placed his hands on top the two children's heads and said, "Now, now, let's not get the beast angry. You might awaken something even _more _hideous hmm."

The two childishly beamed at him. "OK!"

Itachi resisted the urge to Mangekyo all three of them, knowing his father and mother wouldn't be very pleased to come back and find them twitching and frothing at the mouth. That is to say- whenever they _decided _to come back. Instead he grabbed Deidara by the ear and dragged him out the bathroom, calling over his shoulder, "We're going to Sakura's. _Now_."

* * *

-Ten minutes later-

* * *

Itachi peered behind him and then straightened his shoulders, knocking on the door in front of him sharply.

Sasuke and Naruto shifted uneasily, their small forms nothing more than dark shadows under the starlight sky. They shared a glance and shuddered uneasily.

Deidara noticed their unease and crouched down to get on eye-level with them. "What's wrong hmm?" he quietly whispered as Itachi knocked yet again on the door.

Sasuke, with large fearful eyes, glanced at his older brother. "Nii-san doesn't know much about the Haruno family because they're such a small clan but-" He shook his head slowly.

Naruto placed a comforting arm around his friend's small shoulder. "It's okay Sasuke. You don't have to continue."

Deidara started to get a bad feeling about waking the Haruno clan in the middle of the night. "So…so what's gonna happen un?"

Itachi sighed, oblivious to the loud whispering behind him. He raised his fist, ready to knock on the door for the nth time when the small wooden apartment door swung open. A petite woman with long pink hair in a ponytail groggily blinked at him, clad in her lingerie pajamas. Itachi ignored the choice of clothing and instead offered a smile. "Hi there Haruno-san-"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? INTERRUPTING MY BEAUTY SLEEP!" She roared before kicking him in the face. He crashed into a nearby wall several feet away.

Deidara's head swiveled around to where the unconscious Uchiha lay, suddenly covered in beads of seat from perhaps _slight _fear towards the monstrous woman standing in the doorway.

The woman turned gleaming eyes onto the three still standing baffled on her front step. "And _what _would you children be wanting at this time of hour?" she asked in a voice resembling an angry grizzly bear. Which was weird because none of them actually knew what an angry grizzly sounded like.

"..."

"..."

Deidara gulped.

Sasuke and Naruto shifted back.

The woman narrowed her dark blue eyes. "_Well_?"

Deidara glanced from side to side in nervousness, and when he could think of nothing else to say without being knocked out like Itachi, pushed Sasuke and Naruto in front of him with a half smile plastered on his face. "Good evening psycho- er- Haruno-san."

She impatiently tapped her foot, pale arms crossed. "Go. On."

Deidara sweatdropped. "You remember Sasu-kun and Naru-chan right?"

"And if I do?"

_Ouch. _Deidara inwardly winced. "We kind of need someone to watch over them for a bit. And there's no one else we can trust to do that except for you un."

Her gaze was unrelenting.

Deidara realized he had no other choice. He had to turn on his womanizing and persuasive charm. "I-I'm really sorry to have bothered you though hmm. I tried to tell Ita-kun, but he was just so stressed because of the upcoming Chuunin Exams tomorrow…" Deidara trailed off and then hastily bowed his head. "So please watch over our two siblings!"

The feisty woman harrumphed and shifted uneasily. "Well…I really can't say no to such a well-mannered boy, now can I?"

Deidara looked up, sweatdropping slightly. "R-Really hmm?"

She cast him a dazzling smile, unfolding her arms in a welcoming manner. "Sure! Now then- Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun," she motioned to the two boys. "Why don't you come on in? I'll show you to the spare room. I'm sure Sakura will be excited to see the two of you when she wakes up tomorrow morning."

Naruto and Sasuke looked at one another and then laughed, running inside the open apartment giving off a suddenly warm glow.

Deidara affectionately stared after them. "You two behave un!" he shouted after them.

The woman leaned forward to poke him on the forehead. "They'll be fine kid. They have _me _watching over them."

_That's what I'm afraid of…_ Deidara inwardly thought, but he smiled anyway. He could sense a bit of good coming off her aura. "H-Hai."

"Good." She pushed him back, starting to close her door. "Good luck on the Exams then. And take 'Ita-kun' with you when you leave, ok?"

Deidara dutifully nodded his head. "I understand hmm."

The woman gave him one last look and then slammed her door shut.

The Iwa nin let out a sigh of relief once he was sure she had gone and then hurriedly went to wake Itachi up. He shook him on the shoulder roughly. "Oi! Hurry and wake up you big oaf!" he said in a hushed voice.

Itachi cracked an eye open. "I'm already awake you fool," he said in an equally hushed voice. "As if a punch like that could knock me out."

"You were awake the entire time?" Deidara incredulously asked. "I could have gotten killed hmm!"

"But you didn't," Itachi pointed out as he stood, a few pieces of cement falling off of him. "Thanks to your ridiculous acting skills which seem to win everyone over."

"They don't win _you _over," Deidara said.

"Because you're an idiot." Itachi cracked his back. "Now come on. Let's get back home for tomorrow."

Deidara sighed, irritably tugging at his hair. "I bet that's the only reason you brought me along un. Because you knew you'd be the one getting beat up."

Itachi didn't bother to spare him a glance as they headed back towards the Uchiha Compound. "Weren't _you _the one complaining about getting beat up earlier- and by _me _no less?"

The blonde turned an angry shade of red. "Shut up un!"

Itachi smirked. "Whatever. Let's just hope you're ready for tomorrow. _Genin_-san."

Deidara let out an angry scoff. "I'll get you back for that someday un."

"Sure."

"I mean it hmm!"

"Uh-huh."

Deidara glared at the raven's retreating back. "Well fine then." A sly smirk start to spread on his face. "I can't _wait _until we go to meet Shisui-kun tomorrow morning for the Exams. How 'bout you?"

Itachi froze, eyebrow quirking.

"And you'll get to here us talking the entire exam," Deidara continued. "Aren't you excited by that?" he asked. "Just think about un. You may have gotten rid of your little brother and Naru-chan, but you _can't _get rid of me."

Itachi slowly cranked his head around, crimson eyes glowing in the night. "Oh really?"

"Shit un," Deidara deadpanned.

And then took off for the Uchiha main household, a cackling thirteen year old hot on his heels.

"GET AWAY FROM ME UN! HOKAGE-SAMA! HELP ME HMM!" Deidara yelled over his shoulder.

Itachi skidded to a halt. "Don't be ridiculous Dei-da-ra! The Hokage's not going to-"

Suddenly a familiar man riding piggyback style on top a monkey in black dropped down from the sky, effectively crushing him and his spleen.

"Don't be terrorizing the young!" The Third Hokage threateningly said, pointing a fluffy pajama covered hand at the Uchiha. "Next mistake and I'll de-rank you to a Genin whippersnapper!"

Deidara watched with shining eyes from behind a pair of trashcans, stepping out if only to butter the Hokage up. "Oh thank you so much Hiruzen un! I thought I was a goner!"

The Third Hokage flashed him a thumbs up, the monkey deadpanning. "No problem son! You have a good night now!"

Deidara politely nodded. "I will un."

Itachi raised a twitching hand from where he was squashed, death threats running through his mind. _I'll get you Deidara…you little brat…just you wait-_

The Hokage stepped on him again. "No bad thoughts!"

"Gah!"

Deidara stifled a snicker with his hand. _Gotcha Uchiha-kun. As if I'd ever lose to you hmm_.

* * *

**A/N: Gotta love the Third Hokage too ^v^ **

**It's late at night so I'm gonna catch some z's right now. **

**Ja~**


	8. Ready for the Exams

**A/N: Yeah...updates really _are _coming out fast aren't they? **

**Anyhow, a very much appreciated thanks to all those who review :D You make me want to keep writing ^v^**

**OK. This chapter was more like a buffer chapter- so I apologize if it's not as good hmm...**

**XD**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, OOC (of course!)**

* * *

Itachi groggily rubbed his eyes, nose twitching at the sweet scent wafting through the air.

It was the morning of the Chuunin Exams and for some odd reason he just wasn't as excited as he was when he took it ten years ago.

He lifted his face from his pillow and glanced beside him, noticing the spot where Deidara always obnoxiously laid, was empty. _Where did the idiot get off to now? _

As if on cue, the sound of a shuriken came slicing through the air.

Itachi stared at the weapon lodged where his head was not more than a second ago, and then glared at the doorway. "Dei-da-ra…" he dangerously ground out. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Deidara grinned, waving a wooden spoon at him. "Waking you up hmm. We have to be at the Konoha Academy or something in about thirty minutes hmm and I have no idea where I'm going. On top of that we have to get Shisui-kun!"

Itachi groaned and stuffed his face back into his pillow. "No…I don't want to see his face."

Deidara kicked him in the back. "Oh well un! Now take a shower and hurry up!"

The thirteen year old raven cast him a sore look, rolling out of bed. "Why, for Kami's sake, are you so excited?"

"Because I want to see how different your exams are from mine hmm!" Deidara firmly exclaimed before turning on his heel and walking back to the kitchen he had been making breakfast in. Today he had changed his style, all in excitement for the Chuunin Exams. He'd stolen a pair of Itachi's grey pants a hair-tie just for kicks, wearing his fishnet top with a black vest overtop. As much as he wanted to jack one of Itachi's shirts as well, he just didn't have the appearance of an Uchiha.

Itachi stumbled into the kitchen several minutes later, looking fresh as always. He dressed in the complete opposite attire of the blonde, black pants and a grey vest with the Uchiha crest. He looked like an Anbu and was pretty darn proud of it. _Now all those newbie Genins will know who's boss when I appear. _

"I made pancakes un," Deidara cheerfully said as they both sat down, sliding a plate to the Uchiha.

"What are you, my wife?" Itachi muttered.

Deidara snatched the plate back, a scowl on his face. "Nevermind you teme. I'll eat them all by myself hmm."

"Go ahead." Itachi pretended to _not _enviously eye the plate of food, his stomach growling. "Then you can become the cow you've always wanted to be."

"I'm not a cow un!"

"Sure. That's what they all say."

"_Itachi._"

"Fine!" Itachi rolled his eyes. "Give me the pancakes so we can pick up stupid Shisui and get going to these Exams!"

"Gee, I'm hurt," a voice said from beside him.

Itachi jumped. "Holy-!"

Shisui took a pancake off his plate and nodded to Deidara. "Thanks Dei-kun."

Itachi twitched and took the pancake away from him. "What are you doing in my- no. How the hell did you get in here?"

Shisui smiled. "I have no idea."

"…"

"…"

Itachi turned back to the table with a disgusted sigh. _I know I should be used to this…but for some reason I just can't help but be freaked by the idiots surrounding me. _

Deidara bounced to his feet a moment later. "OK un! Let's get going!"

Itachi's mouth dropped open. "But I didn't get a chance to eat-"

"Man am I full," Shisui said, patting his stomach. "Good idea Dei-kun. We might as well get to the exam room early."

Itachi gaped. "Hold on a minute-"

Deidara, who was halfway out the kitchen, turned back with a smirk. "Hurry up Ita-kun or we just might leave you~"

Itachi's fists clenched. _Little. Brat._

* * *

When they got to the Academy, the place was jam-packed with hundreds of other shinobi's, some from Iwagakure who Deidara wasted no time in pointing out.

"Hey un! It's Jimmy hmm!"

"Oh hmm! What's Milly doing all the way out here un?"

"Lily too un? Oh haayy!"

Shisui smiled slightly and sweatdropped at the loud and energetic blonde bomber while Itachi's brow constantly twitched.

A kunoichi who passed the odd group of three stared at Itachi. "Careful there. Your brow might fall off."

"Shut up!" Itachi roared at her.

"Don't you shout at me!" she yelled before socking him in the face and stomping away.

Shisui cringed. "I get the feeling that happens a lot," he said mostly to himself.

Deidara finally calmed down long enough to grab his two temporary teammates by the arms, dragging them inside the building to where a long line of shinobi stood, waiting to get tiny white tablets.

Itachi yanked himself away from the Iwa nin, a black eye already forming. "Don't touch me ever again."

Deidara poked him just for fun.

"Deidara!" Itachi snapped.

"What? Just having some fun hmm."

"I'll show _you _some fun you little monster-"

"You're the monster, not me you giant ogre-"

Shisui pulled the squabbling teens apart before it could escalate into something bigger. "Save it for later guys."

Deidara harrumphed, glaring at Itachi from the corner of his visible eye. "So what's the line for anyway un?"

"What line?" Itachi dryly said.

"The one we're standing in," Deidara smartly answered .

Shisui's eyes lit up in recognition, quickly speaking to stop yet another argument. "Oh the line? It's so we can get our seat assignments for the first part of the exam."

"Hah?" Deidara cocked his head in confusion. "What for?"

Itachi cruelly smirked. "Hn. You didn't know the first part was a _written _exam?"

Deidara stomped on his foot. "You never said anything un!"

"Ouch! Why you-"

"Stop, stop, stop," Shisui exasperatedly said. "I get the feeling I'll be watching over you guys like a parent for these Exams."

Deidara and Itachi simultaneously shuddered. "Waughh…"

"Now!" Shisui slung his arm around both their necks. "Let's get our seats then! Dei-kun, my favorite cousin, do your best not to fail, okay?"

Itachi growled under his breath. "Whatever." _As long as I'm not sitting anywhere near these two __**fools, **__I'll be fine._

Deidara suddenly smirked, as if he could read his thoughts. "Who knows…_Itachi_."

"Kindly shut up, Dei-da-ra."

"Hmph."

"Hn."

"Enough chit-chat kiddies," Shisui said with a laugh. "The real fun starts here!"

Deidara determinedly nodded his head. "Right hmm. Konohagakure Chuunin Exams- give me your best un!"

Itachi gave them bored looks. "Should I say something heroic too?"

The two whacked him over the head.

"Alright- next contenders, come up and get your cards!" a bandaged shinobi called from behind a plastic desk where all the white tablets with numbers on them were.

Itachi randomly chose a card, practically leaping at the table and scaring the life out of the bandaged shinobi, all the while praying he was far, far away from his two idiotic teammates.

_Please Kami-sama…Please spare me!_

* * *

**A/N: The end. Sike! ;P Just the end of the chapter! **

**Next one's already out!**


	9. First Test! Um? Passed?

**A/N: This chapter was actually a ton of fun to write! :D**

**Hahaha...Chewin' Exams..._good one..._ ^v^**

**Warning: Language, OOCness, the usual...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Itachi sat in his assigned seat, a tick on his forehead and fist clenched.

"How did it end up like this!" he angrily shouted to no one in particular, glaring at the smirking blonde and grinning raven sitting on either side of him.

* * *

-Up in her cloud fortress, Kami-sama laughed, sipping a glass of sparkling water. "Hahahaha...sucker."-

* * *

Itachi sneezed in aggravation.

Deidara tilted his head, blue eye glittering. "What's the matter un?"

Itachi turned to him, a fist raised. "Shut up!"

"Take it easy cousin," Shisui said with his hands raised, "No use popping a blood vessel before the big test."

Itachi lowered his hand, brow twitching uncontrollably. "Shisui…kindly shut your mouth."

His cousin saluted. "Aye-aye captain!"

Then he and Deidara burst into snickers.

Itachi had to try very hard not to activate his Sharingan.

* * *

From the back of the classroom, a masked shinobi watched the two Uchiha's and Iwa nin interact. A devious smile spread upon his lips. "I _will _have my revenge….aha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"Shut up!" a random kunoichi shouted, hitting him with a chair.

* * *

Five minutes later the room had finally calmed down and the head prospector walked in, followed by all the lesser prospectors. His tall figure and cool demeanor immediately demanded respect.

"My name is Ibiki M. I refuse to tell you my last name. Now-" he held up a stack of papers. "This is a test. If you are caught cheating even _once, _I will fail you. No. If you even _look _away from your own paper, I will fail you. Understand?"

-Insert bobbed heads-

"Good." Ibiki, clad in his swishing cloak, handed the papers to his minions- er, _lesser _prospectors to hand out. "You have fifty minutes. At the end of them I will give a tenth question for all you _morons _who can't answer the first nine. And if you get even _that _wrong, then you don't deserve to be a shinobi." He scanned the class with hard eyes, doing a double-take when he saw Itachi, Shisui, Kakashi, and several others that he was _sure _had graduated back when they were five. _Oh well…guess I can't tell kids what to do these days._

Deidara sniffed as his test was given to him. "I hate this hmm…" he muttered.

Itachi glanced at him. "Don't stress. It's only a small test."

"That's not the problem," Deidara hissed. "I can't keep my attention span on one paper for this long un."

Itachi opened his mouth to respond when Ibiki cut him off.

"No talking! The test begins now!"

Deidara looked down at the paper, immediately cocking a brow at the first question.

_Question 1: A silver-haired shinobi who scares you greatly breaks into your house. You run in only to find you've forgotten to pick up any weapons for self-defense along the way. What do you use instead?_

Deidara put a finger to his chin as he thought of the answer. _Hmm… Got it! _He hastily scribbled down his answer and moved onto the next question.

Itachi didn't need to look to know that Deidara was flying through the test. He himself had already finished, and Shisui was simply writing down whatever came to mind since he knew how the main part of the written test worked anyway. It was only the tenth question they had to look out for in the end. And even if Deidara didn't know that- oh well. He was doing fine right now.

The second hand on the clock ticked by agonizingly slow over the next forty-nine minutes.

Shisui was humming under his breath and Itachi was drawing a perfect circle in the corner of his test paper. Only Deidara, who had such a short attention span, was ripping tiny pieces of his paper up to throw paper balls at the back of people's heads. And every time a ball would hit, the shinobi in front of them would snap their neck around to glare to see who had been pestering them for the last thirty minutes.

Ibiki took care of the rest, repeatedly shouting, "_Failed! Failed! FAILED!"_

Needless to say, the front row was soon empty.

Itachi rolled his eyes. _Deidara is _such _an idiot_.

After some more spitballs and distractions, Ibiki suddenly shouted, "Time's up!" He gazed over the room. _Good. There's not many left. _He acquired a professional pose. "And now for the tenth question. But before that- know that if you answer this wrong, you and your entire team will fail. Not only that, but you'll lose the chance to retake the test for the rest of your life!"

The entire class gasped.

Minus the ones who had already taken the exam before. Except for Shisui. He gasped just for the heck of it.

"So," Ibiki said. "Who wants to quit? You're free to take the exam again next year."

No one moved.

Itachi relaxed in his seat, knowing neither he or Shisui would back out. _We'll be fine so long as Deidara- _His eyes popped out of his head. _Why is Deidara's hand raised? _he inwardly screamed.

All eyes were focused on the blonde bomber who was now impatiently tapping his foot and waving his arm around.

Ibiki eyed him. "You would like to quit?"

Deidara blinked. "What the hell un? I just have to use the bathroom really bad!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well hold it in," Ibiki grouched.

"I've been holding it in for the last _hour _hmm!"

"Suck it up," Ibiki growled, looking away in annoyance. He scanned the classroom again, pointedly avoiding staring at a certain blonde. "No one wants to quit? Anyone?"

Silence.

"Any-"

Deidara sighed in exasperation. "For Kami's sake un! If you're waiting for some blonde kid with whiskers to speak out and inspire everyone here to work hard and 'Believe it!', then you've at _least _five more years to wait-"

Itachi slammed the blonde's head onto his desk. "Just. Shut. Up."

Ibiki stared at them with rage burning in his eyes. "What was that? You want to fail this test?"

Itachi politely shook his head. "No thanks Ibiki-sama. Sorry about the interruption."

Ibiki grunted. "Well good. Just keep your friend quiet."

"I'll keep _you _quiet," Deidara's muffled voice said.

Ibiki's eyes shot holes through his head. "One more wise-crack and your whole team will fail."

"_One more wise-crack and I'll blah blah blah blah blah,_" Deidara quietly mimicked, earning him several snickers and a glare from the head prospector. The blonde lightly coughed. "Sorry hmm. There was something in my throat, but it won't happen again hmm," he said, only because Itachi was pinching his thigh in a pincer-like grip.

Ibiki opened his mouth to say something when the ceiling caved in, dust and debris flying up in the air in a giant plume. Ibiki's brow twitched. "Why does this seem to happen every year…?" he muttered.

A spiky-haired youth tumbled out the hole in the ceiling a second later, two dango sticks in between her fingers and a hand on her hips.

One of the shinobi in front of Itachi murmured, "Wow…she's _hot_."

A dango stick stabbed him in the head.

"_Ow!_"

Ibiki growled and smacked a hand to his face. "Anko! Don't injure the competitors!"

Anko scowled. "Fine, fine. Why're there so many maggots left anyway?" she shouted.

Itachi's eye quirked. _Maggot? _

"There's only twenty," Ibiki said while plugging his ears.

"Too much!" Anko declared and then faced the class. "The name's Mitarashi Anko you pathetic worms- and I'll be supervising the next test!"

"Aren't you just a kid?" the shinobi from before uttered, dango stick still in his head.

Another one soon joined.

"Shut up pipsqueak!"

"Ahh! My _eye_!"

Deidara was in awe. "Awesome hmm. She's so cool!"

Anko flashed him a thumbs up. "Nice choice of words brat!"

Deidara grinned. "Thanks!"

Ibiki and Itachi rolled their eyes.

"Now!" Anko pumped a fist into the air. "All of you get outta my sight until tomorrow where we'll meet in the Forest of Death!"

"Forest of Death?" a shinobi from Wave Country asked. "Where is that?"

"Up your ass filthy pig!" Anko kindly screamed. "Now _leave_! Dismissed!"

* * *

Deidara strode out of the classroom, stretching his sore back in the process. "Those chairs really hurt hmm!"

Itachi kicked him in the shin. "You almost got us disqualified."

"Itai!" Deidara scowled. "We still made it to the second part un."

"Just barely," Itachi scoffed. "You don't even know where the second part is."

"I'll just follow the giant arrows that point to the Forest," Deidara said with a huff.

"We don't _have _giant arrows!"

"Then I'll make some hmm!"

Shisui stepped in between the glaring teens. "Easy kiddies."

The two harrumphed before crossing their arms and looking away.

"Annoying little brat."

"Stupid big-ass ego Uchiha."

Shisui smacked a palm to his head.

"Well look who it is," a nonchalant voice called out to them.

All three looked over their shoulders in slight surprise, Deidara and Itachi immediately leaping back in horror.

Shisui on the other hand, merely smiled in greeting. "Kakashi. What are you doing here?"

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "Oh nothing. Just thought I'd take the exam for fun this year," he said, all the while boring holes into a certain blonde's head.

"Ah- I see." Shisui peered behind Kakashi's shoulder. "Who are they?" he asked.

Kakashi motioned towards the two teens behind him, one a raven with goggles and the Uchiha crest, and the other a short-haired brunette. "These are my teammates, Obito and Rin."

Rin waved somewhat bashfully. "Hello."

Obito grinned. "Hiya."

Itachi just gave them all strange looks in return.

Deidara, however, leaned to the side in a contemplating manner. "Hmm…Obito huh? Say- didn't I see your name on a tombstone?"

Itachi whacked him over the head. "Well great to see you have a completely illegal team Kakashi-san. Looks like we'll be seeing you for part two of the exam," he quickly said, dragging the blonde away from the group of baffled teens.

Kakashi gaped. "My team is _not _illegal!"

Shisui placed a hand on his hip. "I just can't seem to understand the two of them. Oh well!" he chirped, cheerfully waving goodbye to Kakashi and his team. "Guess we'll see you tomorrow then!"

Kakashi mischievously rubbed his hands together. "Oh _you _will. Just you wait. I shall have my revenge….in the Forest of Death! Aha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Anko slammed over the classroom door, throwing a desk at him. "Shut up already you stupid maggot!"

"Agh!"

Rin and Obito sighed, and then went to help their mentally unstable friend.

* * *

Later that afternoon Ibiki went to collect the answer sheets of all the contenders, basking in the evening sun glow like all the other exams over the years. He stopped when he picked up a paper with a neatly scrawled 'Uchiha Itachi' at the top, shaking his head at all the correct answers. Well Uchihas _were _smart.

_I wish _I _had an Uchiha baby_, he wistfully thought.

Ibiki then picked up the paper beside Itachi's, raising a brow. "What in the world…?"

All the answers in order:

_**Bombs. **_

_**Clay Bombs. **_

_**Bombing Bombs. **_

_**The Bomb of my Life. **_

_**Hit 'em with an explosion!**_

_**Hit this guy with an explosion too! Then he can't attack you! **_

_**Um…plant some mines in his backyard. **_

_**Stealthily sneak behind them and THEN hit them with a bomb. **_

_**Itachi is a loser hmm. **_

Followed by some more graffiti of Uchiha Itachi and crudely drawn pictures.

Ibiki shook his head again, this time in amazement. "What kind of shinobi are we raising here?"

The Hokage swung outside the window on a rope, pounding on his chest and dressed in leaves. "I. Am. TARZAN!" he yelled in a hoarse voice.

Ibiki stared. "That would explain a lot of things."

* * *

-At Ichiraku Ramen-

Deidara had the strong urge to sneeze but resisted, instead scrunching his nose.

Itachi glanced at him. "What's wrong?"

"I have no idea hmm." Deidara cast him an odd look. "Ever get the feeling you're being talked about behind your back?" he asked as two steaming bowls of ramen were set down in front of them.

Itachi hummed in the back of his throat. "You have no idea."

* * *

**A/N: End of chapter :) Hope it wasn't too bad for ya!**

**^v^**


	10. Forest of Death! And Fools

**A/N: Three chapters in a row! Nice! ;D**

**These are getting more and more fun to write- thanks to reviewers and readers :)**

**OK. On with the story then~!**

**Warning: Language, OOC, the usual...**

* * *

"Could you _stop _bouncing around for one minute?"

"I could un. But then I wouldn't be able to annoy you so much."

"Dei-da-ra..."

"Yes Ita-kun~?"

"Shut up!"

Shisui glanced in between his two temporary teammates, both who he viewed as children that must be watched over- Kami forbid he let them out of his sight for one moment. The afternoon they passed the first exam, the two had immediately started arguing over who did better. And then after that, whether they should visit Naruto and Sasuke or not. It all gave him one big migraine.

Sort of like now.

"The Forest of Death hmm? Sounds fun!" Deidara bounced ahead of the two, having woken up earlier than either of the Uchihas once again this morning. He was now hyperactively prancing about, not knowing why he was so hyper or what caused him to be so Hokage-darned happy.

Itachi gave the blonde a dark glare as they walked down Konoha's dirt roads of the village, and towards the more forested parts of the area. He didn't particularly like being woken every morning with a shuriken thrown at his head. "I bet you think dying is fun too," he muttered.

Deidara snorted, eye narrowed. "My death is going to be a massive explosion un! Kamikaze style!"

"I should have known," Itachi dryly commented. "What- is my foolish little brother going to be the one to drive you to your ultimate demise?"

"No! As if _that _would ever happen," Deidara snapped back.

"_Sure_."

"So the second part of the Exam will be harder than the first," Shisui interrupted, changing the subject quickly.

Deidara glanced at him, short attention span as always. "What do we have to do un?"

"Well over the last few years, all we've had to do was spend about a week in the Forest by ourselves," Shisui explained as they approached the massive gates that opened to the Forest. All the other shinobi who had passed and Anko were there already, gathered in a semi-circle. "Oh yeah, and we usually have a pair of scrolls we have to steal from another team," he added a moment later.

"Sweet hmm! This _is _going to be a blast!" Deidara exclaimed as they halted before Anko.

"It's not going to be a _blast,_" Itachi said in exasperation.

"What's going to be a blast?"

Itachi and Deidara simultaneously shuddered, glancing over their shoulder in slight fear. "Kakashi…" they uttered in unison.

Shisui, once again, seemed to miss the giant cloud of tension hanging overhead. "Oh hey Kakashi-san!" he greeted the masked nin and his teammates.

Kakashi grinned. "Yo."

Obito gave a peace sign. "Homie."

Rin shyly pumped a fist. "Dog."

Kakashi leaped back, his teammates following. "And together we form- The Kakashi Gets Revenge Ninja Squad!" A bright light shone behind them, followed by streamers and a balloon.

Itachi reached up and popped the balloon with a needle. "You know, for some reason that just doesn't suit you guys."

"Yeah," Deidara said with a slight grimace. "Just leave it to Konohamaru and his gang."

He got a bunch of blank looks.

"Who's that?" Itachi asked.

"The Third Hokage's Grandson," Deidara replied as if the answer should have been obvious.

"The Hokage doesn't _have _a grandson," Itachi sighed.

Deidara stared. "Not yet un."

Itachi turned away with a weird expression. "_O-K~_ please keep your psychic abilities under control."

Deidara rolled his eye, whispering to Shisui, "He's just jealous hmm."

Shisui nodded. "He's always been," he whispered back.

Except their whispering was actually really obnoxious talking behind half-raised hands.

Itachi turned on them with a throbbing vein. "I can HEAR you!"

"Silence maggot!" Anko bopped him over the head with her clipboard. "Now pay attention all you little fruit cups!" she shouted to the rest of the gathered shinobi. "I'm going to explain the rules of the next test!"

Itachi cast her a _very _sore look.

"NOW!" Anko loudly screamed, effectively bursting all their eardrums. "You will all begin the second test shortly maggots! On my clipboard I have a bunch of papers that you need to sign in case you die, become disabled for life, or- well- die!" She handed the clipboard to Shisui. "Take one and pass it around _worm_."

Shisui bobbed his head with a cheery smile.

Itachi stared at him. Did he _like _being called names? He took a paper and absently handed the clipboard to whoever was on his other side.

"Why _thank _you Itachi-kun~"

"Hn." He turned to ask Deidara why he was using such a disgusting tone of voice and violently twitched. "Orochimaru!"

The long-haired man smiled. "Hello."

Itachi quickly faced Anko who was reading off the paper for those too lazy to read. "Orochimaru's here!" he shouted in alarm.

Anko waved a hand at him. "Put a sock in it maggot, I'm _reading_. OK- we are not responsible for any deaths during this part of the Exam, blah, blah, blah-"

"But-"

"Silence!" she gave him a scorching glare.

Looking around, Itachi saw that no one actually really cared that there was a missing Nuke-nin standing right in their presence. Apparently the paper was much more interesting.

"And that about wraps it up," Anko finished, looking up. Her eyes suddenly widened and she pointed a finger. "Hey look! It's Orochimaru!"

All the shinobi, including Deidara and Shisui, jumped back in a large circle. "Orochimaru!" they all screamed.

Itachi smacked his head, inwardly seething.

Orochimaru chuckled and then started to vanish in a swirl of leaves. "Hahahahaha! You can never catch me foolish children! I am the wind! I am your mom! I am your pillow at night! I WILL JOIN ALL THE GENIN TEAMS NO MATTER WHAT I MUST DO!"

-Insert dramatic gasping-

…Except for Itachi who was currently aiming a kunai for the babbling man.

Orochimaru laughed some more and then left.

And Itachi was left pointing a kunai at Anko instead.

Shisui quickly lowered his cousin's arm.

"Whew! Now that, _that's _over-" Anko wiped the sweat off her brow, "I can get on with the test." She dug through her back pockets, pulling out two scrolls. "These are Heaven and Earth scrolls maggots. Each team will be given one in secrecy, and in fifteen minutes we'll station your teams at different gate posts to enter the Forest. There's a very big tower in the center of the Forest, you can't miss it; and if you do then something is clearly wrong with you. That's your goal." She grinned at all of them. "Make it to the tower with both a Heaven and Earth scroll in within seventy-two hours, or fail the second test."

"Three days?" Itachi raised a brow. Last time he remembered, they were given an entire week.

Anko shrugged. "I dunno. Looks like the Hokage's saving a week long test for a much more dramatic generation."

Itachi stared wide-eyed. _Did she just read my mind?_

"Yeah hmm," Deidara spoke up. "Hiruzen's probably waiting for a blonde with whiskers on his cheek that says 'Believe it!' every few seconds-"

Itachi smacked him over the head. "Will you shut up about that?"

Anko rolled her eyes. "Anyway! Those that pass will make it to the third exam. Any questions and/or complaints?"

A Kumo nin raised his hand. "I do-"

"WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK?" Anko screamed before bashing him over the head. She looked at everyone else. "_Now! _Any questions?"

No one said anything.

"OK! Then hurry up and get your goddamn scrolls!" she shouted.

* * *

"Uchiha-kun," Deidara approached the thirteen year old raven sitting up in a nearby tree. Shisui had gone off to talk with Kakashi, completely oblivious to the silver-haired shinobi's plots of their demise.

Itachi stared down at him, still slightly miffed about the Orochimaru incident. "Little brat. What do you want?"

"Earth scroll." Deidara held up the scroll they were given in his gloved hand. "Who's gonna keep it? Me or you un?"

"Why not Shisui?" Itachi said in a monotone, dropping out the tree.

"Because he's way too familiar with Kakashi for my liking hmm." He held out the scroll, only to have it pushed back towards him. He scowled at the Uchiha. "What un?"

Itachi looked at him. "You keep it. We're likely to get ambushed, and they'll come after me more than you or Shisui."

Deidara bristled with a smirk. "You think you're better than us un?"

Itachi didn't bother to try and correct him, merely shrugging instead.

Deidara scowled. "You're not as great as you think you are hmm."

"Did I say that?"

"It was written all over your face!"

"You don't have to shout just because you're an idiot!"

"Then what are you shouting for un?"

Itachi exhaled angrily and turned away, pressing a finger to this throbbing temple. "Look, I don't want to waste my energy dealing with you right now. Just go find Shisui and bother him or something until the test starts."

Deidara narrowed his visible eye. "Sure un. I'll make sure to stay far away from you for the rest of the Exam. Stupid bastard _Itachi_."

"Whatever Dei-da-ra."

And in the shadows, watching as the blonde stormed in the opposite direction of the raven, was a smiling shinobi and his team. "Kukukuku….a little team spat already? This'll be easier than I thought. Wait for me…Itachi-kun~"

* * *

Shisui stood in between his two younger teammates, a sweatdrop on his head. "Ano…may I ask what exactly is eating the both of you?"

Deidara stared off to the side, a hand on his hip and head down glaring. "Nothing hmm."

Itachi was on his cousin's other side, looking up at the sky with his arms crossed. "Hn."

Shisui's sweatdrop grew. "Alright then."

The group of three was posted at their designated gate, waiting to be let inside. The shinobi in charge of unlocking their gate blanched at the mixed aura the team before him was giving off.

Anko stood on top the gate, arms on her hips and a smirk on her face. "Maggots!" she shouted. "Get ready to go!" Itachi turned his attention to the gate, scaring the living shit out of the shinobi fumbling to unlock the padlock keeping them out.

Anko raised an arm. "On your marks…"

Kakashi evilly rubbed his hands together, earning him sighs of exasperation from Obito and Rin.

"Set…"

Deidara sharply turned, feeling a group of eyes on him. But when he looked, there was no one there.

The shinobi in the shadows grinned.

"GO!" Anko pumped a fist.

The gates opened and the Second Exam begun.

* * *

**A/N: OK, so maybe this chapter wasn't that great. But I tried :D**

**Let me know what you thought ^v^**


	11. Ambush of the Oto Nins!

**A/N: Happy Easter! **

**I should have said that in the last chapter, sorry ^-^u**

**Hope this makes you laugh a bit :D**

**Warning: language, violence, OOC, slightly dramatic acting**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Shisui sat cross-legged in the center of a clearing, arms crossed. Deidara and Itachi were next to him, in an oddly shaped circle. Okay. A _triangle_. The second test started no less than half an hour ago, and already they could pick up the faint sounds of screams and struggle throughout the Forest.

Itachi glanced at his cousin. "Why have we been sitting in this position since the test started?"

Shisui grinned. "Because I wanted to."

Deidara stared. "Really un?"

"Naw!" Shisui shook his head. "If you really want to know, I thought it'd be wise to come up with a plan before we move on or anything."

"So you had us sit in the middle of a giant clearing where anyone can see us?" Itachi shouted with a vein throbbing.

Shisui merely beamed in response.

"SHISUI!"

Deidara irritably plugged his ears with his fingers. "Could you kindly quit screeching un? You're worse than Anko-chan."

Itachi slowly looked at him with a violently twitching brow. "I'm not screeching. And since when do you call Mitarashi-san by her first name with such an honorific?"

"Since I can hmm."

Shisui hummed in the back of his throat. "Anyway kiddies, back to making a strategy. Should we lie in wait for a team to come by or go out and attack on our own?"

Itachi spared him a glance. "Waiting might take a while. We still have to find a good place to set up camp. Definitely before the night sets in."

Shisui thoughtfully looked down. "I see…"

"How 'bout this!" Deidara said with wide, energetic eyes. "I'll make a giant bomb and drop it over the Forest! Then we'll destroy _all _our competition!"

Shisui sweatdropped. "Er- I don't think that would work exactly…"

Deidara cocked his head. "Why not hmm?"

Itachi rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Look idiot, we can't just go around bombing whoever we like and attracting the entire Forest of Death's population to us. Not everyone likes to get killed in such a gruesome manner."

Deidara looked offended. "It's not gruesome un! It's a heroic, glorious battle!"

"_Battle_," Itachi hissed, "is _not _glorious. It's horrible."

"What are you, a pacifist?" Deidara scorned. "You're a shinobi, suck it up."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "You're a reckless fool who doesn't know what he's talking about. Someone like you should have never come to a peaceful village like Konohagakure."

Deidara narrowed his visible eye right back. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

He and Deidara sat across from each other, glaring heatedly.

Shisui raised his hands. "Hey now-"

"Why don't I just up and go then un?"

"Why don't you?

"Alright I will."

"Fine."

"_Fine_." Deidara stood to his feet, glaring. "I'll go now. Back to a village that doesn't want me."

Itachi didn't bother to look up. "You do that."

"I will hmm."

"Okay."

"OK."

"Look, will you just _go _already?" Itachi snapped.

Deidara openly gaped at him and then pivoted on his heel, vanishing with a grunt of annoyance.

Itachi blinked as the blonde left. He didn't think he would actually _listen _to him. "Hn. Running off is immature," he said in a childish tone of voice, feeling a _tiny _bit guilty.

Shisui frowned and cuffed his cousin over the head. "It's your own fault for provoking him. We should go get him before he gets into trouble."

Itachi reluctantly unfolded his arms. "I guess so."

A large crowd of shinobi ran by.

"Let's go get the blonde before he escapes!"

"Yes! For Orochimaru!"

"Hurry!"

Itachi and Shisui stared. Then Shisui turned his stare to his cousin.

"Fine," Itachi sighed, "Let's follow them."

"Not so fast," a kunoichi's voice interrupted.

Shisui and Itachi glared at her. "Out of the way toots," Shisui said with a wave of his hand.

"I can't let you go," she said, whistling sharply. A small group of shinobi gathered at her call. "Orochimaru-sama has given us orders to annihilate you, and that's what we'll do."

Itachi harrumphed. "I have no idea why he would want that, but we have a teammate to get to."

Shisui bobbed his head in agreement. "Right-o. So if you could just move-"

"No way!"

Shisui's brow quirked, Sharingan slowly activating. "I hate being interrupted. You've just made me pissed," he said with a slightly demented smile.

The kunoichi and her followers blanched, stepping back in _slight _fear.

Itachi rolled his eyes and retreated a good distance away.

His older cousin was unstoppable now.

* * *

"Okay guys, let's use some stealth."

"Right- Kishimoto-san make the bird noise."

"..."

"Kishimoto-san!"

"Huh- or right. Er-" *cough cough* "Cawcaw! Cawcawcaw!"

Deidara ignored the strange noise coming from the Forest, tucking one glove into his vest pocket to wash the mouth of his palm out by the side of a river. "Stupid Itachi un. Always pisses me off with his annoying ass attitude," he muttered.

He knew that there were a bunch of shinobi watching him from the trees and bushes, but as long as they weren't doing anything too annoying or attack him, he really didn't care.

"Hehehehe!"

"Snorklesnorklesnorkle!"

"Hehehaheheha!"

"Ca-caw!Cawcaw!"

"Gyakgyakgyakgyakgyak-"

Deidara's eye twitched. _Maybe they'll go away if I don't retaliate. _

Only when the cackles and bad whispering didn't stop did the Iwa nin finally decide to act.

Deidara stood, planting his hand on his hip. "OK un. Who's there?"

A kunai whizzed by his face.

Deidara wiped the blood off his cheek with his thumb and then licked it. "Who sent you losers hmm?"

The crowd of shinobi who stepped out all had on Otogakure hitai-ate. A lanky shinobi with a runny nose was at the lead, sternly staring him down behind _extremely _large sunglasses.

Deidara couldn't control the twitching of his brow. "Who…sent you?" he repeated with some difficulty.

The shinobi wiped his nose. "Ha. I'm not telling _you _that we're working for Orochimaru."

He received plenty of glares from his fellow shinobi.

"Orochimaru?" Deidara raised a brow and then scoffed. "That creep can send as many of you as he'd like un. I won't be losing anytime soon."

"That's what you think," the nasal shinobi said. He drew a Fuuma Shuriken, twirling it in what he presumed to be a cool manner. "AWOOOGAH!"

Oh dear God.

Deidara snorted and tried to cover it with a cough.

The shinobi glared and waved a hand forward, motioning to the others in the back. "Go get him faithful minions!"

"Shut up! You think we'd listen to you?" a kunoichi yelled before drop-kicking the shinobi.

And _then _the group of Oto nins went on to fight.

Deidara drew a handful of kunai, deflecting a wave of shuriken and senbon before cart wheeling to the side and throwing a smoke bomb to the ground.

The Oto nins coughed and hacked for air.

"Ah! Where did he go?"

"Hurry up and find him!"

"My lungs!"

"Shut up already!"

Deidara quietly snickered and backrolled out of the smoke cloud, bouncing to his feet with a smirk. "Well that was easy hmm." He snapped his fingers, and diving out of the trees was a mass of clay butterflies, all which plummeted into the smoke below. Deidara formed a seal. "Remember this, _Oto nins_," he sneered. "Art…is an explosion! Katsu!"

He sighed and straightened up, patting himself down amongst the large blast. "Geez. Saying that all the time takes a lot out of me un." He brought his fingerless glove out of his vest pocket and slid it back on with the help of his teeth. "And I hate having to pull this thing on and off all the time hmm…"

* * *

-Meanwhile-

* * *

"AHHHH MAKE IT STOP! THE PAIN!"

Itachi coughed, looking around the clearing which was full of frothing and spazzing shinobi. "Shisui…I think we're done here."

Shisui stood, eyes onyx once more. "You think so?"

Itachi's lips quirked. "Just a little."

* * *

"Wow~ Well done blondie."

Deidara's head snapped up at the sound of slow clapping, eye narrowing at the sight of more shinobi gathered around. "Hmph. Let me guess. Orochimaru hmm."

"And you're a psychic," the shinobi who had spoken first said. "But can you handle _me _in a fight?"

"Cocky-ass bastard aren't you un?" Deidara circled an arm around his head, a swarm of already prepared clay wasps immediately shooting out at the group. "I hate wasting chakra on the likes of you un. Katsu!"

There were several surprised shrieks and cries, but not all of them were caught off guard.

Deidara jumped back to avoid the swipe of a kunai, casually flinging off one of his gloves again to begin molding clay in his mouth palm. He flipped backwards again and then shot himself up a nearby tree, dropping a clay spider behind him. The shinobi trailing him was blasted back into the ground.

"Grr...Don't let him get away!"

Deidara smirked and ran for the highest branch, only to fall and release a wave of clay birds beneath him, capturing all below. "KATSU!" He dived into the explosion, eyes alight in excitement.

Itachi and Shisui ran into the clearing the same time the explosion erupted throughout the trees. They skidded to a halt.

Shisui took a step forward. "Deidara!"

Itachi shoved past him, red eyes blazing. "Deidara you stupid idiot!" he screamed.

They waited in a heavy silence as the remaining smoke cleared, showing the unconscious figures of the Oto nin who had attacked them and several large craters in the earth. Itachi scanned the area for chakra signatures with his Sharingan, unable to detect any.

Shisui placed his hands on his hips and looked around, his own Sharingan activated. "No shinobi in the surrounding area at all. I'm surprised the blast didn't attract anyone."

_Oh my Kami! Deidara is such an idiot! _Itachi stomped around in a circle for no apparent reason. Sure it might have been a bit his fault the blonde ran off in the first place, but everything was Deidara's fault! And Shisui's! And while he was busy accusing others- why not make it the Hokage's fault too!

Shisui placed a hand on his shoulder. "Itachi, I think you should calm down."

"Calm down?" Itachi turned to his cousin with wild eyes. "Are you crazy? If my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka find out, I'm as good as dead!" he dragged his cheeks down with his fingers. "I can't die so stupidly!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure if anyone's going to kill you it's going to be Sasuke," Shisui knowingly said. "Everyone likes dramatic brother stuff."

Itachi glared. "What in the-"

The ground beneath them trembled and they paused in their discussion to look down in surprise.

A familiar head of blonde poked out of the dirt, gasping for air. "Oh. My. Kami. Un! I thought I was gonna _die _hmm!"

Itachi and Shisui stared.

Deidara blinked, only able to see the feet and legs of the two above him. "What un?"

Itachi lunged, attempting to crush his head underfoot. "You blonde _moron_! Don't go around making big explosions and faking your death!"

Deidara dodged as best as a person could underground. Which wasn't very well. "Ah! What do you think you're doing hmm? I didn't fake my death!"

"My favorite cousin calm down!" Shisui cried, trying to stop the younger raven from killing their blonde teammate.

"Shut up!"

* * *

By the time they had all managed to calm down, it was well on its way to night, the sky above the trees already darkening.

Itachi was scowling darkly as Deidara and Shisui chattered up ahead. Apparently in the midst of the explosion, Deidara had used an Earth Burrowing Jutsu to fall underneath the ground and cushion the blow. And then he decided to go circle around the clearing like the dumbass he is under the earth just to see how long he could go without air.

_Idiot_!

They came to a stop in front of several large trees looming high into the air, a small but comfortable cave nestled between them. Itachi noted the cave with some appreciation. It was located in an area of low detection so not many would find an disturb them. An appropiate base for them to gather in and be able to lookout for other teams to mug.

Deidara held a finger to his chin in a contemplating manner. "Where should we set up camp hmm?"

Itachi turned to him. "We'll set up camp in that cave-"

"Let's make camp in the trees!" Shisui exclaimed, pointing up.

Deidara clapped his hands together. "Great idea Shisui-kun~" he chirped.

"And I think we can set up some hammocks too…" Shisui murmured.

Itachi turned to them, several popped veins on his face. "Don't ignore me!"

Deidara smirked at him. "You say something un?"

Itachi burned holes into his head before turning away with a huff.

Shisui glanced in between them, oblivious to the dark cloud hanging above his cousin's head. "Ne, favorite cousin- wanna get us some food?"

"Whatever!" Itachi threw his arms up into the air, stomping away.

Deidara couldn't help but snicker. "Such a short fuse hmm…"

"Don't worry," Shisui said with a laugh. "If he gets lost we can always go off and find him with my Sharingan."

"SHARINGAN CAN'T FIND PEOPLE YOU IDIOT!" Itachi's voice screamed back at them.

* * *

**A/N: Fin. **

**...Kidding! :D **

**Hope you all had a good Easter! **

**How was the chapter?**

**(^m^) Um...I think that's supposed to be a rabbit or something...**


	12. Damsel in Distress! GO Deidarakun!

**A/N: Just into the Chuunin Exams and problems already start! **

**Oh well. Itachi's got Deidara and Shisui- what more could he need?**

**Warning: OOC, language, violence, etc...**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

Itachi stalked through tall grass, not really caring if he could be heard all across the Forest.

_Stupid Shisui and even more stupid Deidara! 'Wanna get us some food?' _"While those _idiots _string hammocks in the middle of the forest for everyone to see, _I'll _be slaving over some picked berries," he angrily said aloud.

He stopped in front of a river before he could fall in, squinting in the dark. "What the hell? I can't see anything." _I'm going blind already? _He patted down his vest. "Glasses, glasses, where did I put them...?"

"Here you go~"

"Thank you," Itachi nodded, taking the thin-framed glasses from the outstretched hand. He slipped them on and then blinked, adjusting to his magically better vision! "Oh hey Orochimaru," he said to the smiling man beside him.

"Hello Itachi-kun~"

"..."

"..." Orochimaru offered an encouraging grin.

"..."

"..."

"HOLY SHIT!" Itachi jumped several feet into the air and then booked it through the woods. _How scary! I didn't even notice! _Behind him he could hear Orochimaru calling his name and running after him with the stealth of an elephant.

"Itachi-kun~ Waiitt!"

* * *

Deidara thoughtfully strung up the third hammock belonging to Shisui, turning to look at the Uchiha a moment later. "It's been a while hmm."

Shisui struck a flint and set the tree branch across from them ablaze as their campfire. "Worried?"

"No!" Deidara scowled, staring at the now flaming tree. "It's just that he could be trampezing through the forest for all we know un with something like- oh I don't know- _Orochimaru, _chasing him across this Forest."

Shisu pulled out a bag of marshmallows from his shirt. "As if that would happen. Why would Orochimaru be here?"

"...I'm not worried un."

"I know you're not."

"He's a fat whale who can take care of himself."

"Good to hear."

Deidara threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. "Fine un! Let's go find the prick since you insist so much!"

* * *

Itachi rolled his eyes and then sneezed.

"Bless you Itachi-kun," Orochimaru kindly said. "Now- how have things been in the village since I've left?"

"You know, this would be a great conversation if you didn't have me wrapped in the tail of your SNAKE!" Itachi squirmed a bit in the tight coil he had been wound into. Orochimaru sat watching him from on top the purple snake's head, arms delicately crossed and a smile on his lips. Itachi visibly twitched. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Orochimaru let out a chuckle. "Because I've got the sudden urge to take over your body!"

"_What!"_

"That's right. Ever since that horrid little friend of yours refused to let me on your team and leave," the man's face contorted into displeasure, "I decided what better way to get revenge than by taking over _you_!"

"That...makes no sense," Itachi sighed. _Thanks Deidara. Thanks a lot. _

Orochimaru ignored him in favor of exclaiming, "And you're young too! What a bonus!"

Itachi raised a brow. "Do you realize how creepy you sound?"

"Silence! Get inside my belly!"

"Oh _hell _no!" Itachi's eyes turned red. "Sharingan!"

Orochimaru cackled, sliding down his snake's back to get to the baffled Uchiha. "Foolish Itachi-kun~! Your glasses nullify the effects of your Sharingan!"

If Itachi was anyone other than himself, he might have let out a dramatic, 'Oh no!'. But he wasn't, so he only deadpanned with a, "Well _shit_." Why didn't he know of this _beforehand_?

"Kukukukukuku! You. Are. Mine!" Orochimaru cried. He swooped in for the kill, only to pause a little as a tiny white butterfly flew by his face. "What-?"

"Katsu!"

"WAAHHH!" Orochimaru was blasted off his snake by an explosion to the head.

"K.O.!"

Itachi opened and closed his eyes, awkwardly craning his neck around. Standing proudly on a tree branch was...Deidara! He hung his head. _I'm screwed. _

Orochimaru stood, wiping the blood from his chin with an outraged scowl. "It's _you_!" he shouted, pointing to the blonde.

Deidara flipped down from the tall tree, straightening with a cringe. "Ugh. I should be saying that to _you _hmm."

Itachi struggled a bit more in the snake's tail _still _holding him captive. "What are you doing here?" he asked the blonde.

Deidara gave him an odd look. "I thought it'd be obvious. Saving you of course un."

"I'm not a damsel in distress," Itachi glowered.

Deidara eyed the snake he was currently stuck in.

Itachi cleared his throat. "Well I don't _need _to be saved. Just take my glasses off and I'll be fine."

"Your glasses un?" Deidara skeptically rolled his eye.

"I'll explain later- just hurry up and take them off!"

"Hell no un! This is finally my chance to have some fun," the blonde argued with a glint in his eye. "And you're not going to ruin it, so you can just stay there!"

"Dei-"

Orochimaru clapped his hands. "Enough chit-chat," he said as his sword materialized before him. "Itachi-kun, be a good boy and wait until I dispatch your little friend here."

Deidara stepped forward. "Try it un!"

Itachi inwardly groaned in frustration. _So stupid! _

* * *

Shisui hummed in content, roasting his marshmallows by the giant burning tree.

"_Shisui..."_

Shisui paused, tilting his head.

_"Shisui..."_

Shisui slowly turned to stare wide-eyed at the tree, looking up in awe. "Oh my Kami...the burning tree is talking to me!" He threw his arms up into the air, a choir of voices singing behind him. "I will!" he cried. "I _will_ set your people free-!"

"Shisui what are you doing?" a voice questioned.

Shisui turned with a start, cocking a a brow at the silver-haired shinobi. "Kakashi-kun? What are you doing here?"

Kakashi looked around, hands on his hips. "Well I came to fight Itachi and Dei-chan, but I guess they're not around."

"Maybe you should come back later," Shisui kindly suggested.

Kakashi nodded. "OK. See you in a few!"

Shisui watched as he vanished into the woods. "That's a good kid right there."

* * *

Itachi watched as the Iwa and Nuke-nin battled, exchanging swift moves and blocking all of each other's attacks with kunai and sword in hand.

"Katsu!"

"Ahh! Damn you little boy!"

Oh- and Deidara's explosives of course.

The two skidded back several feet, charging in to become locked in a heated standstill.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at the blonde teen, pressing harder against the much smaller weapon he was up against. Sparks flew. "You, child, are a very annoying creature."

Deidara smirked. "Speaking for yourself un? And are you really this weak? I guess that sword is just for show if it can't go against my puny little kunai hmm- you idiotic baffoon," he taunted.

Orochimaru gnashed his teeth and then pushed back, sending the two skidding across opposite ends of the clearing. He straightened up, flicking his hair over his shoulder. "I wasn't trying to beat you. Why would I waste my effort on the likes of you?"

Deidara shrugged. "I don't know- because you might _lose_?"

Orochimaru harrumped, lowering into an offensive stance.

Deidara did the same.

And then they charged straight for one another, releasing loud obnoxious war cries that might as well have alerted everyone in the Forest of Death to their location.

"Oh cool! A fight!" a Suna shinobi waved his hand around to his friends.

"Yeah! Front row seats too!" his brother excitedly said.

"I call the splash zone!" his teammate shouted.

"Who's the pale guy?" his friend asked.

"Go sexy-bomber!" his girlfriend cheered.

Itachi's brow quirked as all the other shinobi competing in the test gathered round to cheer the mini fight on.

"Get 'im in the pretzel!"

"The chair! Use the chair!"

Itachi's head whipped around. "This isn't a goddamn wrestling match!" he yelled, vein popped.

Deidara released an onslaught of miniature clay locusts. "Got you hmm!"

Itachi and the others squeezed their eyes shut as the giant cloud of smoke from the following blast exploded over the entire clearing. Itachi cracked an eye open, trying to see through the smoke what was happening next.

Orochimaru staggered out the cloud, a fierce scowl on his features. His glare was directed straight at the grinning blonde across from him. _"_You-!"

Deidara snickered and pointed to his head. "Nice hair un," he laughed.

Orochimaru reached up in a slight panic, only to find the entire middle section of his hair missing. His long beautiful hair! He angrily stomped towards Deidara. "You singed _my _hair you little brat!" he spat at the bomber.

The grin was quickly wiped off Deidara's face as Orochimaru approached, backhanding him into a tree several yards away before he could react.

"BITCH-SLAP OF **DOOM**!" Orochimaru shouted.

The bark behind Deidara splintered from the force and he slowly slumped to the ground.

Orochimaru allowed a satisfied smile to spread across his face.

There was some booing from the crowd.

Orochimaru unleashed a glare upon his watchers. "Silence!"

Itachi glanced at the unmoving blonde and then glared at the approaching man. "What did you do?" he accusingly asked.

"Oh just a power smack~" Orochimaru cheerfully said, planting his sword into the ground as he walked over. "I wouldn't be surprised if the little pest has a broken jaw. Such is the power of my blows. Now then-" he smiled and eagerly flexed his hands. "I shall take over you!"

Several of the surrounding shinobi decided to step in, drawing kunai and Fuuma shuriken and pegging them at Orochimaru.

"Ahhhhh! _You fiends_!" Orochimaru cried, avoiding the rain of weapons.

Itachi once again glanced to Deidara and was surprised to find the blonde's visible eye wide and gleaming_. What the-?_

Deidara winked and gave a short nod of his head in the direction of Orochimaru.

Itachi stared at him uncomprehending.

His unspoken question was answered a second later when a pair of clay birds flew by, one landing on the snake's head, the other on Orochimaru's shoulder.

Who was still dodging the weapons from above.

"What? What is this?" Orochimaru asked, noticing the cute tweeting bird. "Are you singing? How lovely!"

A kunai stabbed him in the arm.

"Ow!"

Deidara's fingers formed a seal.

Itachi shut his eyes.

"KATSU!"

And Orochimaru was blown to smithereens.

...OK, not really. But _he _was caught off guard long enough to be trapped in the Sharingan which Itachi was now able to use thanks to the bomb that blasted both his glasses and the snake holding him captive into oblivion.

The shinobi around the cheered. "Hooray! Hooray!" they praised, pulling out streamers and putting on party hats. "Ding dong the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the witch is dead-"

Itachi held a fist out to them. "SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"It's too early for you to transform Fiona!" the Suna shinobi shouted.

And then they all elft.

Itachi felt his eye twitch. He was now stuck in a clearing with a frothing Orochimaru, disembodied snake parts, and a smirking Deidara. Speaking of Deidara... Itachi glared at him. "That was the most annoying and pointless fight I've ever seen."

Deidara wiped the smudges of dirt off his cheek, eye wide with excitement. "Yeah, but I had fun hmm."

Itachi peered carefully at his face when the blonde came to stand in front of him. He noticed a tiny bruise from where Orochimaru had struck him. "Does that hurt?" he asked.

Deidara absently patted his cheek. "Not really un..." He suddenly grinned. "As if a _Jounin _like me would be knocked out so easily hmm!"

Itachi lifted a brow.

And caught the unconscious blonde a moment later. He sighed and shook his head.

"Ba-ka~"

* * *

**A/N: End of chapter and still rarin' to go! **

**I had fun with this so...**

**Let me know how it was :D**


	13. Spar of a Lifetime

**A/N: Ahaha, another chapter, this one slightly longer for my quite long absence. Sorry ;P**

**So I was watching naruto abridged, shippuuden you know, and...well yeah. Good stuff. **

**Anyhow! Enough meaningless chatter! Hopefully this chapter doesn't come across as confusing or messy- let me know. **

**Warning: Language, OOC, violence- and why don't I just copy and paste these from now on?**

**Enjoy ^v^**

* * *

Itachi walked up the tree that his temporary teammates stupidly built their camp up in, a dozing Deidara drooling heavily on his back. _Oh my God- some of it's sliding down my shirt! _he screamed in inner horror.

Shisui waved from where he swung in his hammock. "Greetings."

"Don't greet us so calmly!" Itachi exclaimed with a popped vein.

"Easy there tiger," Shisui said, smiling.

"At least ask some questions," Itachi grumbled, dumping Deidara in his own hammock. He walked back to Shisui, pausing to stare at the giant tree across from them that was currently on fire. "Why is the- you know what, nevermind."

"We have a big day tomorrow," Shisui idly commented, offering his cousin a s'more.

Itachi gruffly took it, unable to quell his sweet tooth. "Why is tomorrow so important?"

"Last day to get a scroll." Shisui shoved a marshmallow into his mouth. "We only have the scroll we started with."

Itachi frowned, partially because of how stupid his cousin looked with puffed cheeks. "We need a Heaven scroll."

Deidara woke up. "I got one hmm!"

Shisui and Itachi stared as the bomber slid out of his hammock and walked over.

"Weren't you dead?" Itachi asked.

"Nope!" Deidara grabbed a bunch of marshmallows and plopped cross-legged beside Shisui. "For some reason I feel wide awake un."

"Right…" Itachi rolled his eyes, only to have his brow twitch as the blonde stuffed all the marshmallows from his hand into his mouth. "You look like a chipmunk."

Deidara glared at him, affronted and speechless. Probably because of all the sugar blocking his airway.

Itachi smirked. "So what about the Heaven scroll?"

Deidara tried in vain to swallow all marshmallows at once.

It didn't work.

In fact, he started choking and had to have Shisui smack him on the back repeatedly.

It was all very amusing to Itachi.

"That was dangerous hmm!" Deidara said, rubbing his throat and shooting Itachi a vicious look.

Itachi coughed to hide a chuckle and instead repeated his earlier question. "How did you get a Heaven scroll?"

Deidara blinked and then rummaged around in his vest. "I got Orochimaru's Earth scroll after he hit me un." He held up the visibly unharmed scroll. "See?"

Shisui grabbed it and flared his Sharingan. "Wow! You really _did _get it!"

Deidara snatched it back. "Of course hmm! You didn't need to use your Sharingan!"

Shisui grinned and ruffled his hair. "Sorry, sorry."

"Speaking of Sharingan," Itachi said as the blonde and older Uchiha batted at one another. "Did you know that it doesn't work with glasses on?"

Shisui tilted his head to the side with a wide grin. "Of course."

Itachi punched him over the back of the head. "Why didn't you tell me then!" he yelled, several veins popped.

"Ouch! Why would you hit your best friend like that?" Shisui mock cried, holding the bruise.

"Yeah- why would you do that?"

Itachi turned to the side. "Deidara, stay out of-"

"Um…I'm over here un," a wide-eyed blonde said from across him.

Itachi felt himself stiffen, slowly facing the crouched figure beside him.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"K-K-KAKASHI!"

Kakashi held up his hands, smiling beneath his mask. "Hey now, don't sound so surprised. I told Shisui-kun I'd be back."

Deidara and Itachi glared at the Uchiha.

Shisui sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Whoops. I forgot."

"Oh well, it doesn't matter," Kakashi said in an ominous voice as he stood. "Because I'M here now! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!"

"Close that gaping hole of yours!" Deidara exclaimed, smashing his foot into the shinobi's face.

"Ah! Dei-chan how could you~?" Kakashi wailed, stumbling back. "I was just trying to be nice," he said before fake sobbing.

Itachi bashed him over the head with his arm. "You're hurting my ears."

Shisui stared at the two horrified. "Dei-kun! My favorite cousin! What are you doing?" he ran over to help Kakashi back to his feet. Which was kind of weird how all of this was happening on the branch of a giant tree.

Deidara and Itachi stood on one side, arms crossed and glaring.

On the other stood Kakashi and Shisui, the latter armed with a bag of marshmallows and stake.

"Somehow this doesn't seem fair," Deidara muttered under his breath to the raven next to him.

Itachi gave a short nod of his head, Sharingan activating. "It's not like we'll lose anyway. Keep those scrolls safe from Kakashi, understand?"

"Gotcha!" Deidara flashed a thumbs up and large grin, retreating a few feet away. "You can take care of Shisui hmm. I'll fight Kakashi."

Itachi mock saluted and smiled a little. "Sure." _Finally. A chance to beat the shit out of Shisui. _

Shisui closed his eyes for the briefest moment and then snapped them back open, crimson eyes taking obsidian's place. "Alright cousin. I've been waiting for this fated showdown."

"Just stop talking," Itachi uttered, already fingering a kunai at his waist.

"Fine," Shisui said. "There's no more time for talk anyway." He activated his bloodline. "SHARI-"

"MANGEKYO!"

"Ahh! My eyes!"

Itachi smirked. "That is _so _refreshing."

"Especially when it's only a clone, am I right?"

Itachi pivoted on his heel in time to parry a blow with Shisui, both their eyes activated.

Shisui smiled and flew back, a vein beginning to throb. "My favorite cousin- you do know how much I hate to be inter-"

"Hmm? I wonder how Deidara's doing?" Itachi interrupted, just to piss him off.

A vein popped. "How much I hate being inter-"

"He's probably blowing Kakashi into the next century," Itachi mused, holding a finger to his chin.

Shisui growled in annoyance, his patience finally snapping. "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" he screamed.

Itachi couldn't help but let out a small laugh and smile.

"I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED AND YET YOU DO IT SO CASUALLY ON PURPOSE!" Shisui threw his head to the side in a fit of rage, narrowing his eyes. "And so you'll have to pay. DEARLY!" A giant wave of killer aura erupted over the expanse of the branch they were still on.

Itachi lowered into a defensive stance. "This could be fun," he murmured.

* * *

-Meanwhile with Kakashi and Deidara-

* * *

Deidara and Kakashi drew back, each with a kunai in hand. They had fallen to the clearing below the branch the two Uchihas fought on, having come to a mutual agreement that there was much more space on the ground.

They both paused at the sound of Shisui screaming his head off at Itachi.

"Whoa," Deidara said with a raised brow. "I've never seen _that _side of him un."

"I have," Kakashi muttered. "Try going on a mission with him and having to deal with that every time the other shinobi cut him off mid sentence."

Deidara, for once and probably the last time in his life, gave the silver-haired shinobi a sympathetic look. "Sucks for you hmm." He lifted a hand, a giant clay centipede bursting out from under the earth where Kakashi stood.

Kakashi shot into the sky to avoid the exploding creature, throwing a wave of kunai at the blonde. Deidara smirked and crossed his arms before him, a large shield of clay forming around him before molding itself into a dragon and raging towards Kakashi who had just landed.

"Oh sh-" Kakashi held his arms in front of him protectively as the dragon exploded.

Deidara cackled, twisting and turning with each new wave of clay birds he sent zooming into the huge puff of smoke created by his dragon where his opponent was. He was preparing to send in the final blow- a ginormous clay bird which hovered several feet above his head- when a light laugh behind him caught his attention.

"_What_, pray tell, are you _hitting_?"

Deidara twisted on his heel and saw Kakashi standing with his hands on his hips. "Kage bunshin hmm?"

"The one and only," Kakashi cheerfully said.

"Fine hmm," Deidara formed several seals. "See if I care!" A minor burst of smoke and soon there were six blonde bombers standing in a line. "I've got clones too!"

Deidara and his clones sprinted towards Kakashi who drew back into a defensive stance, only to dispel them at the last moment, effectively hiding himself and momentarily blinding the silver-haired shinobi. The blonde inwardly snickered, calling forth his clay bird from earlier to nosedive into the cloud of smoke.

Pieces of the ground shot up into the air from the explosion.

Deidara immediately rolled out of the blast after seeing Kakashi's form poof into a log, turning on his heel to clash kunai with…a dog?

Kakashi laughed from above, squatted on a branch. "You like? I call it…**Summoning**!"

Deidara deadpanned, shifting several feet away from the snarling pup. "So does everyone else- Ow!" He glanced down from at the painful sensation of having a pair of sharp fangs sink into his leg. _Another one? Only this one…_ Deidara sweatdropped. _Is licking me. _

Kakashi twitched. "No Pakkun the Fourth! Bite the bad ninja!"

"Right." Deidara pried the brown pug off his leg as Shisui and Itachi ran by, the latter chasing his cousin with the marshmallow stake.

Itachi threw the stake with precision, causing Shisui to jump into the air and be tackled to the ground one of Itachi's clones. Shisui poofed into a log.

Itachi dispelled his clone and felt his eye twitch in annoyance. "Can't you two use anything _other _than logs?" he muttered.

"Who knows," Shisui said from where he appeared beside him, engaging his cousin in a brief taijutsu battle. "Personally, I think it's fun to mess with the heads of my opponents."

Itachi smiled at this and skidded backwards at a particularly strong kick to his torso. "What do you know? Me too."

Shisui grinned in response. "Must be an Uchiha thing."

Itachi was still smiling, even as a certain silver-haired shinobi went flying to Shisui, knocking them both to the ground in a heap of pain. "I also enjoy distracting my opponents, how about you?" he asked as Deidara appeared on the other side of the fallen shinobi.

Deidara held a brown pug in his arms. "Not bad," he said, scratching behind the pug's ears.

"I'm not even trying," Itachi answered. "And why do you have a-"

The dog disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Deidara frowned in disappointment. "I was gonna keep him hmm…"

Kakashi stood to his feet, helping Shisui up as well. "How about that Dei-chan? I've summoned him back home!"

Deidara narrowed his visible eye. "Well congratulations on pissing me off un." He pulled out several shuriken and sent them whizzing at Kakashi and Shisui.

As the two moved apart to dodge the incoming projectiles, Itachi moved a few feet away and pulled out a Fuuma Shuriken. He wasn't sure how he got it, but for some reason Uchiha's always seemed to have one on them. He scanned the area to see both his cousin and Kakashi advancing on a cornered Deidara. _Hn. This could work out into something… _

Deidara tore his attention from the two in front of him to the raven gazing at him from far in the back. The blonde stared at him for a moment before his eye widened in realization, first flashing in anger, then in slight amusement and resignation. Deidara pulled out what was left of his clay in his weapon pouch and flashed it before Kakashi and Shisui, mouth palms molding at almost blinding speed. A tiny butterfly appeared as a result, effectively blasting all three of them away from one another.

Yeah. Things happened fast when Deidara got excited.

Shisui stood, only to notice they were surrounded by a mixed amount of both blonde and raven-haired clones. He deadpanned, unable to decipher the real ones, even with his Sharingan. "Where they're getting an endless supply of chakra from I will never know."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, only to flip backwards as the entire circle of clones released a massive onslaught of shuriken and kunai alike. He, and Shisui, were completely caught off guard as the weapons faded from sight before they could hit and the clones vanished.

Deidara let out a shrill whistle and snapped his fingers from where he crouched on the ground, a flashbang exploding above them.

Shisui and Kakashi backed into one another, officially confused and disorientated.

Itachi smirked. _Perfect. _He pulled out his Fuuma Shuriken and violently sent it spinning towards the two trapped in the center.

Kakashi prepared to block, but the shuriken curved upwards in a sharp incline before it could hit, bewildering both he and Shisui. "What in the-?"

"Deidara!"

"Got it!" Deidara twisted from his position on the ground, running up the closest tree and pushing off the trunk to grab the shuriken before it could fly out of control; flinging it back towards Kakashi and Shisui with deadly speed.

Shisui 'tched' and brought out his own Fuuma Shuriken to block the weapon, only to have the spinning projectile veer sharply off to the side once again. "How annoying!"

Itachi rushed from the side and caught the shuriken, sending it flying back up to Deidara hanging upside down from one of the tree's branches. This time when he caught it, Deidara dropped down from the branch, revealing the wires that had been surrounding their opponents. Faster than either Kakashi or Shisui could move, the wires snapped around their bodies, strapping them up against each other.

Itachi clapped his fingers into the seal of the Tiger, smirking with the other end of the wire in between his teeth. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

Deidara couldn't help but smirk as well, seeing the huge flame burst down the wire towards the two trapped shinobi was such a grand sight to see! He and Itachi watched the gray smoke cloud in the center of the clearing. "We did it un!" Deidara cheered, pumping a fist into the air.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Not yet."

Deidara blinked. In the middle where Kakashi and Shisui were supposed to be…were logs. The blonde growled. "Dammit hmm! This is the fourth time!"

Itachi tensed as Kakashi appeared behind his body and Shisui behind Deidara's, both with kunai.

"End of the line!" Shisui said.

"Sweet revenge!" Kakashi proclaimed.

They swung their kunai into the necks of their unsuspecting prey.

And were promptly stuck in the melting clay bodies.

"Wow~ great attack un. And you got cheesy lines to go with it too. I _hate _when heroes do that stuff hmm..."

Both looked up, struggling in the white goo. Standing on a tree branch with his arms folded was a smirking blonde, an impassive raven beside him.

"Deidara!" Shisui angrily shouted.

Deidara formed a seal and smirked. "KATSU!"

Itachi smiled and faced the blonde as the explosion successfully destroyed their chakra depleted opponents. "Very flashy Deidara."

"Why thank you Itachi un," Deidara replied.

"And the best part," Itachi said blinking his eyes. "It's all a genjutsu."

* * *

The two looked down at the twitching and foaming forms of Shisui and Kakashi from where they sat on their hammocks, eating marshmallows up in the branch of their large tree as if the fight had never even taken place.

Deidara grinned and tossed a marshmallow over to Itachi. "Best fight as of yet hmm."

Itachi caught it with a roll of his eyes. "You say that about all of your fights." He curiously looked at the treat the blonde threw at him before looking up with a small smile. "But I think I can agree with you just this once."

"That's great un. Really great Itachi," Deidara beamed.

Itachi's smile grew. "Great teamwork Deidara."

And though in completely different world of his own, Shisui couldn't help but grin. _Now we're finally a team and- Ow! Itachi stop stabbing me with katanas! You're five years too early!_

* * *

**A/N: I tried. Hopefully next chapter is better :D**

**Deidara's past will be revealed slowly for anyone that wants to know :) Wait for it **


	14. Intruders in the Forest!

**A/N: Another chapter! Hopefully you'll like this one :D**

**I've had a sudden burst of inspiration and several new stories have come out as a result. Check 'em out if you want!**

**Warning: Language, OOC, weird stuff...**

* * *

The next morning found two ravens and a blonde heading for the giant tower in the center of the Forest.

Shisui had successfully recovered from his slightly traumatizing experience in the Sharingan and was only _slightly _horrified to know that Itachi and Deidara had once again hung Kakashi from a high height, mooning all the shinobi passing by.

Including his teammates.

Obito screamed and covered his eyes. "Good _God _Kakashi! Are you _trying _to blind me?"

Kakashi looked down and grinned. "Ohaiyo! Mind helping me out?" he cheerfully asked.

"Yes I do mind! I mind very much!"

"I'll help you Kakashi-san," Rin excitedly said.

Kakashi blanched. "No thanks."

"But, but-" Rin flushed and pointed an angry finger at Obito. "Stop laughing!"

Obito tried to calm his snickering. "S-Sorry."

Rin placed her hands on her hips, glaring lightly at her teammate. "You're lucky I take pity on you," she said. "Only because I have this nagging feeling that someday we're gonna go on a dangerous mission and when I get kidnapped, you'll get crushed by a giant boulder." Rin thoughtfully looked up. "And then I'll miss you."

Obito stared, weirded out just a bit. "...Okay then..."

A squad of Ame nin ran by, only to scream in horror at the sight of Kakashi and run _back _to where they had just come from.

Obito and Rin sweatdropped, Kakashi waving goodbye and shouting, "Come back soon!"

"Maybe we should take him down now," Obito said.

"Maybe," Rine agreed. "Whoever did this sure knows how to scar people for life."

* * *

Deidara and Itachi sneezed in unison.

"Someone's talking about you," Shisui teased.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Itachi muttered. He glanced to the side where a slightly-out-of-it blonde jumped beside him through the trees. "You feeling okay?" he asked with a smirk.

Deidara glared. "You never told me that going crazy on my chakra supply even in a genjutsu would wear me out. You stupid bastard un."

Itachi looked away thoughtfully. "You never asked me."

"I never thought I had to!" Deidara exclaimed with a vein popped.

Shisui let out a silent sigh. _Kids these days..._

"Don't be all prissy just because you had a nightmare last night and came crawling to me for comfort," Itachi scoffed, flipping to the next branch.

"I did not!"

Shisui hummed, looking over both of his teammates. "Well favorite cousin, you two just looked _so _cute cuddled in your hammock of love. Way to comfort a friend."

Both teens gagged.

"Shut. Up. Please," Deidara angrily grunted.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "We weren't _cuddled._ What a profane word... This idiot," he motioned towards Deidara, "woke me from my heavenly slumber to sob and blubber in my ear and then got _stuck _in my hammock as I tried to push him out. I just left him as he was."

"That's not true hmm!"

Shisui scratched the back of his head, dodging a tree branch. "So wait, wait, wait... Let me get this straight. You're saying you _were _cuddling?"

"NO!" they both shouted.

Shisui chuckled. "Ok, ok, just teasing." He peered ahead. "We should be at the tower in an hour or so. Be on the lookout for any ambush or strange movements. Orochimaru too."

"Alot of teams will be out for the kill today," Itachi added.

Deidara felt a chill run down his spine as the two Uchihas bore holes into his skin.

* * *

-Somewhere in the Forest-

* * *

"Do you think we'll find them?"

"I dunno. But I sure am tired. Let's ask someone for food!"

"Who's gonna be out in the middle of here?"

"...Good point."

"Oh well. It's a good thing Haruno-san packed us these lunches!"

"I'll say! Believe it yeah!"

A team of oddly dressed shinobi paused in the clearing, saw the two kids eating onigiri, and then smirked.

"Well, well, well," one of them said, a fairly short redhead with muddy eyes. "What do we have here?" He wore standard black Sand shinobi sandals, black shorts, a gray shirt with mesh underneath, and a long green scarf wrapped around his neck which almost fell to mid-back.

"You sound like a creeper, take it easy," the leader of the group said. He dressed in simple black pants with a black shirt, two orange wristbands on each arm and a spiked choker around his neck. His feet were bare, partially wrapped in dirty bandages.

"Why did we stop?" the last of the three asked. His messy brown hair came down to his shoulder, a blue bandana overtop and grey mask covering his mouth. He wore white mesh with a navy shirt ontop and grey shinobi pants with dark sandals.

"Because I've just found some prey..." the redhead said with a sinister chuckle.

* * *

"Stay on the downlow."

"Opponents are really unpredictable nowadays."

"Orochimaru can come back at any given time."

"Tie your shoelaces before you leave-"

Deidara twitched, coming to a halt on a particularly large branch. "That's it," he seethed. "WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME AS IF I DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS?" he screamed at Itachi and Shisui whose hair blasted back from the force of his voice.

"Because your tests were different," Shisui said, smoothing out his hair. "Right?"

"Yeah un," the blonde muttered. "Ours were much more violent."

Itachi pulled his hair back into a neater ponytail. "Obviously. Look how you turned out."

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Hardy har har," he dryly said. "Seriously though un. This test is more fun than dangerous. Back in Iwa, there wasn't a written test or anything. We had...an interrogation session instead for several days," he carefully said.

Shisui's eyes narrowed. "Interrogation huh?"

Itachi chose to stay silent.

"And as far as I'm concerned," Deidara said in a suddenly perky voice. "Your tests are basically the same every year hmm! Ours always changed, so you never knew what was coming."

Itachi contemplatingly looked ahead at the tower which was considerably closer than before. "That is true I guess. You'd think after ten years Konoha would change things up a bit."

Shisui looked at them. "But we did. Shortening time limits and Ibiki-sensei always changes the test questions."

Deidara and Itachi sweatdropped. "We didn't quite mean it like that..."

* * *

-At the giant tower in the center of the Forest-

* * *

"Anko, Anko!"

The young woman lazily looked down from where she was sprawled on the tower's roof. "What is it, Hayate?"

The young man looked up at her from where he stood on the side of the building, frantically waving his arms. Partially to alert Anko to incoming danger and keep himself balanced on the tower with his wavering chakra. "Two unknown figures have snuck into the Forest of Death!"

Anko sat up. "What?"

Hayate nodded, not at all noticing the fact that Anko was suddenly attentive. "Apparently they're small in size, with big eyes. They managed to trick all the guards at the gates!"

"No way..." Anko breathed out, quickly joining Hayate on the side of the building, eyes bright with excitement. "The GNOMES are here!" she shouted.

Hayate twitched and covered his ears. "What are you-?"

"Hurry! Get Izumo, Kotetsu, Genma- anyone who can come!" Anko ordered, suddenly holding a pitchfork and torch. "We've got some _gnomes _to hunt."

Hayate slapped a hand to his face. _Oh dear Kami..._

* * *

-Middle of Forest-

* * *

"Would you like a riceball?"

"...No thanks. But I would like to know your names."

The two kids exchanged a glance before grinning and looking at the redhead standing before them.

"That's Naruto," a tiny raven said.

"And that's Sasuke," an equally small blonde cheered.

Sasuke smiled and rocked back on his heels. "Who are you mister?"

The redhead smirked in a very smug manner. "Sasori. Akasuna no Sasori." He motioned to his two teammates behind him. "They're not really from around here. The one with all the piercings is Pein. The one with the half-mask is Kakuzu."

Sasuke and Naruto waved.

Sasori's smirk grew and he knelt down to eye level. "Now what we would like to know, is how you two kids snuck past the defenses here. That takes quite some skill."

"Oh it's nothing really," Naruto casually said. "Deidara-nii showed us one way."

"Yeah, and then nii-san told him he was wrong afterwards and showed us another way," Sasuke added.

"Interesting..." Sasori looked over his shoulder to an orange-haired teen. "What do you think?"

Pein shrugged. "Let's meet them. I'm bored with this test and want a little excitement. Gosh, why did I let you talk me into touring the country for new friends anyway?" he said with a roll of his eyes.

Sasori rolled his eyes right back. "Shut up. That was your idea Pein."

"No it wasn't."

The two kids looked in between the two as the argument went on.

"Yes it was. And you were lonely living in that box outside my house. Be grateful I actually let you be my friend."

"I should be saying that to _you_ Sasori."

"Why I oughta-"

"Enough chatter. Time is money," Kakuzu grouched.

"Money which you do not have," Pein said.

"That is very true," Sasori murmured.

"Silence!" Kakuzu roared.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at one another. "So...do you want to come with us or not?" Naruto asked.

_Brat_. All three older shinobi thought at the same time.

"We're...coming," Kakuzu slowly answered.

Sasuke suddenly cheered. "Great! You'll love nii-san and Deidara-nii! They're the best brothers in the entire world!"

"Great," Sasori dryly said. _Every minute I stand here I feel as if I'm losing brain cells..._

"And maybe Deidara-nii will show his art to everyone again!" Naruto excitedly said.

Sasori immediately perked up. _But it will be worth it to find someone just like me. _

"And the cow goes 'moo'," Pein told Sasuke.

Sasori twitched as Naruto and Kakuzu started to laugh.

_I hope. _

* * *

**A/N: Kami where did THOSE guys come from? I was definitely not planning that...but oh well! **

**:D**

**Next chapter to come out soon!**


	15. Getting Lost and Losing Them

**A/N: Sorry for the kind of slow update :P But school's out in less than a week, and once summer starts, I'll have more free time to write! **

**Wohoo!**

**Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this story as much as I love writing it :D And thanks to all of you for your awesome reviews that make me wanna write even more! And don't worry. This part of the test is almost over hahaha...**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, slight confusion possibly, and OOC...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

-Towards the Outskirts of the Forest of Death-

* * *

"So…what're your brothers like?" Kakuzu asked, not having looked behind him since the last hour.

"Yeah, I want to know how strong they are," Sasori said, also keeping his gaze ahead. He couldn't be bothered with looking after two brats. That was Pein's job. _After all…he has the mentality of one…_ Sasori sourly thought.

"Oi…you tykes awake or what?" Kakuzu grouched.

"I get angry when I am made to wait…" Sasori uttered under his breath with a hidden threat.

"Who are you guys talking to?" Pein said with a raised brow and look of question on his face. "I lost those guys back at the last interstate."

* * *

_Flashback_

* * *

"_Hey, Naru-chan," Sasuke whispered to his blonde friend as they followed behind the trio of strange shinobi. _

_Naruto glanced at him. "What is it?"_

_Sasuke glanced back up ahead. "These guys seem suspicious. We should leave and not lead them to nii-san and Deidara-nii."_

"_Hm…" Naruto gave a firm nod of his head. "Good idea. Let's go." He looked at Pein who was traveling closest to them. "Um…bye stranger!" he called. "We have to go now!"_

_Kakuzu and Sasori were too deep in a conversation about the difference between knitting and crocheting to hear. _

_Pein waved with a smile. "Sure. Stay safe!"_

_Sasuke and Naruto exchanged a glance before shrugging and taking off in the opposite direction. _

_Pein faced front again, shaking his head side-to-side. "What adorable little kids…"_

* * *

_End Flashback_

* * *

Kakuzu and Sasori screeched to a halt, whirling around with popped veins to shout at their supposed leader, "NAAANNIIIIII?"

Pein held up his hands, an irritated look on his face. "Back away already, pathetic _mortals_."

"…"

"…"

Sasori began cracking his knuckles.

* * *

"So- what'll we do now?" Sasori asked Kakuzu from where he sat on top of the nearly unconscious body of Pein.

Kakuzu stroked his invisible beard thoughtfully. "Well…there's no point in chasing them I guess. We've wasted enough time as it is; they might not have even been leading us to others of political interest. No…it'll be best if we just stick to the original plan of checking out potential candidates to join Akatsuki at the tower, and move on from there." He turned to glance at the Suna shinobi. "Wouldn't you say, Sasori?"

Sasori gave him a blank look. "I have no idea what the _hell _you just said, but my butt's beginning to hurt." He got up, throwing Pein at Kakuzu. "Let's head for the tower, with no distractions this time."

Kakuzu raised a fist, brows twitching as the redhead casually waltzed by. "Sasori…_you little_-"

* * *

"BASTARD UN!" Deidara screeched, jumping several feet into the air. He shot Itachi a scathing glare. "What was _that _for hmm?"

Itachi smirked, placing his hands on his hips. "Because you're an idiot who was heading in the wrong direction."

"You didn't need to give me a wedgie," Deidara scowled, rubbing his sore backside.

"Yes. Yes I did," Itachi smugly said.

Shisui gave them both warm smiles, flapping his hands. "Can't you two behave? We have guests you know."

Deidara and Itachi exchanged a glance. "We do?" they asked.

Shisui nodded, turning sideways to reveal the group of shinobi who had been patiently waiting for the trio to pay attention to them. "Uh-huh. See? It's our old friends from the very first time you and I took the Chuunin Exam!" Shisui told his cousin.

"Don't be ridiculous. How could we have possibly made friends at the age of five in a Chuunin Exam?" Itachi rolled his eyes and then looked at the group of shinobi now glaring at lighting torches. He jumped back. "WHO THE-!"

Standing there and staring at him in a slightly creepy way was Anko along with Hayate, Izumo, Kotestu, Genma, and Raido. All dressed in a proctor's uniform, save for Anko, and holding various tools of shovels and pitchforks.

Anko harrumphed, digging the tip of her pitchfork into the ground. "That ain't no way to greet a chuunin, lowly insect."

Itachi felt an eye twitch. "You seem to forget that I'm an Anbu."

"What?" Anko picked her ear with her pinky.

Itachi violently clenched and unclenched his hands before growling and turning away.

Shisui sweatdropped and grinned.

Deidara, on the other hand, happily greeted the shinobi group. "Hey un! You're that cool lady from earlier."

"Damn right," Anko laughed.

"What're you doing all the way out here hmm?" Deidara eyed the items in their hands. "And… what do you need those…er…farming tools for?"

"There's a raven and blonde gnome clan out on the loose in the Forest," Anko said with a wave of her hand. "I've been waiting to catch the gnomes that stole my dango ever since I was seven years old, and now they've shown their stupid selves! So you gonna lend us a hand or what?"

Itachi blinked, and then turned around with a throbbing vein to stare at her. "What did you say…?"

"I _said_ that there are a bunch of gnomes that managed to sneak into the Forest of Death practically unnoticed," Anko sneered. "And reports say that one is of Uchiha blood. That's why I need an Uchiha to come with me, so we can attract the Uchiha gnome into our grasp."

Itachi stared at her. "That is the most ridiculous shit I've heard in my entire-"

"What an ingenious plan!" Shisui suddenly cried, looking at Anko and her gang. "I will most definitely join you on this journey!"

Itachi gave him a baffled look. "What the-"

"You can't just go Shisui-kun!" Deidara said with a frightened expression on his face.

"It seems as if we shall need to go our separate ways now…" Shisui mourned.

Kotetsu and Hayate began to cry, dabbing at their eyes with handkerchiefs.

Itachi felt his face start to drop in disbelief. _I don't believe this…_

"No…" Deidara wildly shook his head. "Don't!"

Shisui woefully looked over his shoulder, eyes watering. "This parting…of such sweet sorrow…is much if…"

"What kind of half-ass attempt to quote Shakespeare was that!" Itachi shouted with a popped vein.

Shisui looked at him. "Where art fore Itachi?"

Itachi deadpanned. "You're a disgrace to the Uchiha Clan."

"Thank you!" Shisui beamed.

"THAT WASN'T A-" Itachi started to exclaim, only to be cut off by a loud sniffle from Deidara.

"Do you really have to go Shisui-kun?" Deidara asked with chibi eyes.

Shisui blinked. "Dei-kun…" And then he jumped forward with a squeal of excitement. "Come give a big hug to uncle Shisui!"

Itachi felt his eye begin to spaz.

"Deidara!"

"Shisui!"

"Deidara!"

"Shisui!"

Itachi stared with a twitching brow as his cousin and the Iwa nin ran towards one another in slow motion, arms held out in front of them.

"DEIDARA!" Shisui screamed.

"SHISU-"

Deidara tripped.

"ACK!"

Itachi smacked a palm to his head. _Idiots! Why do I even put up with them? IN fact, why have I even been letting these two tell me what to do? I'm the leader here. It's my life, I should be able to do what I want-_

"Okay Itachi, we're ready to go un!" Deidara chirped from where he was brushing himself off.

"I don't want to hear that from you!" Itachi exclaimed with a throbbing vein. "And Shisui-" he paused, looking around the clearing. "Where did he go?"

Deidara jabbed a thumb behind him with a smile. "He already left with Anko and the others."

_BAKKAAA! _Itachi inwardly screamed, gripping his cheeks. First Sasuke and Naruto sneak into the damn forest. And then Anko shows up, practically kidnaps his cousin to go on a gnome hunt after the two brats Haruno-san was _supposed _to be looking after and, and- AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

Damn it all!

Itachi took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "OK. Deidara-" he faced the smirking blonde, vein popping. "What's with that look?"

"Oh I don't know," Deidara said with a devious smile. "I just enjoy your anger _soooo_ much un."

"You know what-" Itachi raised a threatening fist.

Deidara lifted his hands in front of him in mock fright, leaning his head back with a large smirk. "Oh no… I'm _sooo _scared."

"Just shut up already!" Itachi glared at the snickering blonde. "Look you sorry excuse for a ninja, we'll have to split up in order to save time and get to the stupid tower to pass this second test."

Deidara felt his brow twitch. "Who're you calling a poor ninja?" he asked with a dangerous quirk in his brow. "Haah? You ugly ogre!"

"Nani?" Itachi faced him with a twitching smile and several burst veins. "Come again? You goddamn fatass-"

"What was that? You're the fatass!"

"Get real baka! That's obviously you!"

The two shot daggers into each others heads and then turned away with a huff.

"Whatever," Deidara grouched. "You go after Shisui and I'll head for the tower gates while searching for Naruto and Sasuke since the 'gnomes' are obviously them un."

"Are you an idiot?" Itachi dryly said. "We'll just use clones-"

"No way un!" Deidara interrupted. "That'll just waste chakra, and we have to preserve it for whatever else might come up in this exam."

"Dei-da-ra…" Itachi quietly ground out. "YOU'RE SUPPLYING CHAKRA TO YOUR FEET RIGHT NOW!" he roared.

"_Whoops!_" Deidara sheepishly chuckled.

Itachi smacked a palm to his head. "Unbelievable…"

Deidara snorted in a somewhat annoyed manner. "It isn't as bad as you being born," he scoffed. "Anyway, we need to stop wasting time. Hurry up and go after Shisui-kun."

Itachi gave him an equally annoyed look. "Why do _I _have to go after Shisui?"

Deidara smirked somewhat sadistically. "Because he's your cousin. And blood is thicker than water, ne?" He turned on his heel and cheekily waved. "Ja~!" And then he had vanished.

In a swirl of rocks.

"URG! DAMN YOU IWAGAKURE!"

Itachi ignored Deidara's distant scream, instead facing the direction Shisui had run off to. "Ha. With my luck I'll probably end up running into a bunch of losers who want me to join them on their quest of world domination," he muttered under his breath.

* * *

Pein, Sasori, and Kakuzu skidded to a stop on the branch they had jumped on.

"A…A…ACHOO!"

Sasori sniffled, wiping his face on a leaf. "For some odd reason, I have a feeling we'll doing that a lot."

"Yeah, me too," Pein slowly said, blowing his nose on Kakuzu's sleeve afterwards.

Kakuzu twitched and jumped away. "That's disgusting! Do you know how much it'll cost to buy a new one?"

Sasori fanned underneath his nose, glaring at Kakuzu. "Yeah. The same it'll cost you to buy a toothbrush."

Kakuzu faced him with a giant tick mark. "Why you-"

* * *

Hayate glanced sideways at Anko. "Should we move out now?"

Anko absently nodded, busy sharpening the end of her pitchfork. "Yes…it'll all happen soon…very soon…"

Hayate and the others scooted back with large sweatdrops.

"Ano…"

All eyes focused on the newly added member to their crew who had his hand raised with a large grin on his face.

Anko shot him a glare. "What is it _worm?"_

Shisui's grin grew. "My poor favorite cousin is going the wrong way after a clone I created and doesn't even know it. But, I happened to sense a large amount of foreign chakra somewhere near around the direction he's heading in."

Izumo thoughtfully looked up. "So if we follow the chakra…"

Kotetsu dropped a fist into his palm, a look of realization on his face. "We can find the source of the gnomes!"

Anko smirked, digging her pitchfork into the ground. "Great idea you morons! Now let's move out!"

* * *

Kakuzu was in the process of killing Sasori when a black blur dashed by. He paused. "What was that?"

Pein nonchalantly shrugged from where he had been watching the little fight between his teammates. "I dunno. Maybe we should go see? I mean, we already lost track of those little tycoons from earlier."

Sasori huffed and pushed Kakuzu away from him, straightening his scarf out. "And whose fault was that?" he dryly asked.

Pein opened his mouth to reply when a large crowd of multi-colored blurs raced past, on the trail of the black blur from earlier. He glanced at Sasori and Kakuzu. "Now I'm really curious. Come on guys, let's go see what's the cause of this ruckus. Perhaps we can find something to make this test less boring."

* * *

**A/N: Er...let's just hope it wasn't bad :D**

**Another chapter to follow!**


	16. Kamisama Bless You!

**A/N: See? It's another one! :D**

**Warning: Language, violence, OOC..?**

**Enjoy! ^v^**

* * *

Itachi came to a halt, whirling around with a_ slightly _popped vein. "Why the hell are you following me!" he shouted at Anko and her crew. "Weren't you chasing after a bunch of nonexistant gnomes?"

"Because we can, _maggot_," Anko sneered. She then pointed behind her. "And I don't see why we can't follow you when those guys are too."

"What?" Itachi looked past the chuunin's shoulder to see a group of three giving him slightly interested looks. "Oh not more followers of Orochimaru…"

"Orochi who?" Sasori asked with a raised brow.

Itachi sighed. "Nevermind. Why am I suddenly being followed by all these people anyway? I'm _trying _to find some idiots."

Everyone that had been following him sneezed.

Itachi felt an eye twitch.

"You know," Pein said, wiping his nose on Kakuzu's sleeve who shuddered and moved away. "You look just like this one kid we found wandering in this Forest. He said he was looking for his brothers."

"That _kid _only has one brother," Itachi muttered. "And it's me. Where is he now? Was he with someone else?" he asked.

Kakuzu harrumphed and folded his arms. "Yeah- there was some blonde brat with him. Narturd or something. As for where they are…" he glanced up at the tree-filled sky. "Well…we lost them."

Itachi deadpanned. "You…lost them."

"Hey they're very hard to keep track of," Kakuzu defensively said.

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto sneezed in unison.

Naruto shook his head, eyes wide. "Wowzers! That kind of hurt!"

Sasuke nodded, massaging his sore nose. "Yeah. A lot of people must be talking about us then."

The two kids were currently crawling through a thick line of bushes in front of the giant tower in the center of the Forest. How they got there, they had no idea! All they did was follow the trail of breadcrumbs and now they were one step closer to finding their nii-sans!

Sasuke let out a tiny sigh, muttering from where he was crawling beside Naruto. "It's really hot under here, and nii-san and Deidara-nii are no where in sight. Naruto are you sure we went the right way?"

"Of course Sasuke!" Naruto practically shouted as if he were offended.

Sasuke clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shhh! We can't get found or else those three scary ninja from earlier might find us!" he shouted at his friend.

Naruto gave a bob of his head, eyes very large. "

The tiny Uchiha exhaled in relief and then went back to his very daunting task of surviving the trek though the bushes.

It was a _really _long line of bushes.

Naruto suddenly stopped and tapped his best friend on the shoulder. "Look right there," he loudly whispered, motioning at a blonde mass of hair up in the sky.

Sasuke looked in the direction Naruto was pointing in and let out an obnoxious gasp. "Hey!" He quickly ran out from the brush they were hiding in and ran out into the clearing by the tower gates, looking up and shielding his eyes with a hand. Sasuke eagerly waved with his other. "Deidara-nii! Deidara-nii! Over here!"

Deidara glanced down, visible eye immediately brightening up. He threw the piece of grass away and jumped down from the tree branch he had been sitting on. "Naru-chan! Sasu-kun!"

Naruto grinned as he and Sasuke walked towards him. "Didja miss us?"

Deidara skipped over. "There you guys are hmm! Ita-kun and I were looking _all _over for you~!" he cheerfully said.

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Deidara-nii, are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine un," Deidara said with a large smile.

Sasuke turned his head this way and that before looking back to the Iwa nin. "Where's nii-san?"

Deidara snickered into his hand while giving off a look of innocence. "I only sent him out in the west part of the Forest to look for you. I didn't think it would take this long." _Haha….that sucker probably fell in a ditch. _

* * *

A vein popped on Itachi's head. _I know that _idiot _Deidara is probably talking about me right now. _

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto looked at him with understanding eyes. "Oooohhhh."

Deidara winked. "Right-O un."

Sasuke grinned and leaned forward eagerly. "Wow Deidara-nii! You're so awesome!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto agreed.

Deidara held up his hands as if it were no big deal. "No big deal Sasu-kun, Naru-chan."

The two laughed.

And out of the shadows came-

"Oh? Having a little fiesta are you?" Two shinobi stepped out from behind a row of trees, masks covering their mouth and a menacing look in their eyes. "Which one of you will be my little pinata?"

Deidara, Naruto, and Sasuke continued to laugh merrily, as of they weren't being threatened by bad jokes.

The shinobi speaking blew a blood vessel. "DON'T IGNORE ME YOU BRATS!"

"Well even though it's a good joke," Naruto said to Deidara, "I still hope that jerk is okay."

Deidara consolingly patted his head. "Don't worry hmm. Itachi was built to withstand idiocy and pranks un."

Sasuke questioningly looked at him. "But aren't you just insulting yourself Deidara-nii?"

"Hmm. Good point un."

"YOU STUPID FOOLS! I'M GONNA STUFF YOU FULL OF CANDY AND HANG YOU FROM A TREE IF YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" a livid shinobi roared.

Deidara finally faced him, blinking as if he had just noticed them. "Oh. Who the heck are you un?"

The shinobi face-palmed, his other shinobi buddy stepping up next to him. "Silence! Who do you think you are having the time of your puny lives in the middle of a ninja exam? We'll definitely steal your scrolls from you!"

"I think not," Deidara smirked. His fingers formed a seal. "Katsu!"

Sasuke and Naruto crouched down as the large explosion swept over the area, peering out from under their arms. They gasped.

"What that supposed to hurt?" One of the shinobi asked.

"Because it didn't," the other one said with a wide grin.

Deidara sweatdropped at the second one. "You've got the most damage done to you un."

The injured shinobi glanced down at himself as if just noticing the wounds. "Ow! When did these get here?" he cried, patting himself down.

The first shinobi looked away, innocently whistling.

"I could've sworn I dodged that blast," the second shinobi muttered.

Deidara moved Naruto and Sasuke behind him, forming a seal. "You're really annoying, you know that? Katsu!"

The first shinobi grinned as his partner took the blow once again, clapping his hands together. "I've got you all now!" he cried with a mad gleam in his eye. He formed several fast seals. "Attack! Massive Cloud of Confusion Jutsu!" A large burst of purple fog erupted in a geyser towards the group of three.

Deidara immediately formed a clay sphere around them, protecting them from the seemingly deadly fog. He looked down at Sasuke and Naruto whose eyes were wide and bodies trembling. Deidara gave them a reassuring smile. "Don't worry un. I won't let anything happen to-"

"WOW! THIS IS SO COOL SASUKE!" Naruto loudly cheered, turning to his Uchiha friend with his fists eagerly up in front of him.

Sasuke turned to him equally as happy. "I KNOW- RIGHT?"

Deidara felt his eye twitch. "You two…do you even know the meaning of the word 'fear'?"

"No." Sasuke innocently gazed at him. "For some reason nii-san won't let us read the dictionary. He says we'll just find a way to use it against him. Which doesn't make any sense because words can't really hurt a person- unless you're being mean, but all Naruto and I want to do is learn how to be smart and-"

"Okay, okay, I get it." Deidara covered his mouth with his hand. _Now I know how Itachi feels when I start talking so much. Oh well. It's still fun to piss him off. _He listened for any sound of movement from outside their clay shell, and when he deemed it safe, let the clay crumble to the earth.

Naruto blinked. "Huh? There's no one here anymore."

Deidara glanced around the area and noted that there was indeed no one around. "How suspicious…" he muttered. As soon as the words were spoken, the shinobi from before appeared behind them, cackling obnoxiously.

"Gyakgyakgyak! You're mine!" He clamped a hand down on Deidara's shoulder, forming a seal with his free fingers. "Secret Technique! _Ultimate _Massive Cloud of Confusion Jutsu!"

The Iwa nin grunted and punched the shinobi in the face as an oddly smaller burst of purple fog fell over them. Without hesitating even a moment, he swept his leg out and violently kicked Naruto into Sasuke, causing them to both fly out of the fog and into a tiny heap of flesh and bones several feet away. "Sorry Naru-chan, Sasu-kun!" he shouted, turning his attention back to the shinobi whom he promptly smashed into the ground. He was aware that he breathed in a lot of that strange fog, but so far he wasn't feeling any side effects…

He suddenly became paralyzed from the ears down.

Deidara inwardly twitched. _Damn irony. Why can't I move my body hmm? _He tried moving his head, only to have his arm raise instead. _Crap. I need to concentrate and send some warm chakra throughout my body first…_

Sasuke managed to sit up, blearily rubbing his eyes. He glanced down beside him. "Ah! Naruto!"

The little blonde was completely knocked out of it.

"Oh no. What should I do?" Sasuke mumbled. He felt his small self start to tear up. "I'm…lonely now…"

Naruto mumbled out gibberish about taking over the world using ramen.

Sasuke grabbed at his friend. "WHY WON'T YOU SPEAK!" he woefully screamed.

Deidara grinned a bit, oblivious to the two kids in front of him. _Alright! I can feel my body start to relax. I just hope that stupid-ass jutsu doesn't have any more effects-_

His vision started turning black.

Deidara felt a vein pop. "W-What the hell is up with this! Stupid irony un!" _At least my voice is back. Kami-sama, if that stupid ninja wasn't already unconscious I'd totally beat the crap out of him all over again!_

Sasuke brought his gaze to Deidara who was standing still with a pissed look on his face, eyes on the psycho shinobi he had knocked out. Sasuke felt a breeze go by and then jolted, leaning forward to yell, "Look out behind you Deidara-nii! Snap out of it!"

Deidara's eyes widened. He quickly turned on his heel and caught the incoming heel before it could collide with his jaw, using his own foot to send the shinobi flying into the tower doors.

"WAAHHH!" the shinobi roughly crashed into the double doors, splintering the them clean in half and causing a giant cloud of debris and smoke to fly into the air. Woods shards exploded everywhere.

Deidara blinked at the unconscious ninja before whirling around and wobbling over to where Sasuke stood, a knocked-out Naruto in his tiny arms. The Iwa nin knelt down, placing a gloved hand to Naruto's forehead while worriedly looking at Sasuke. "Are you okay un?"

Sasuke sniffled, wiping a hand under his eye. "Yeah. I'm fine…but Naruto-" Sasuke shook his head and suddenly large tear drops burst from his eyes. "It's all my fault! I'm the one who wanted to come out here to see you because I missed you and nii-san and I made Naruto agree and now- and now he's DEAD!" Sasuke loudly wailed.

Deidara blanched at the high-pitched scream, carefully removing Naruto from Sasuke's grasp to hold him in his own arms. "Just….calm down hmm. Naru-chan will be perfectly fine." He stood up, patting the younger Uchiha on the head who was still bawling. Although he nearly missed and almost ended up smacking Sasuke in the forehead. His sight was really starting to fade…. _Dammit! _"We have to find Ita-kun though. Think you're up for it?" _Maybe he'll know what to do. _

Sasuke hesitated, nose running and eyes red. And then gave a feverent nod of his head.

"Good." Deidara bobbed his head back and then turned his slightly unfocused gaze up to the sky. He had no idea what jutsu that idiotic shinobi had used, but it seemed it hadn't hit either Naruto or Sasuke. _Good hmm. If they had gotten hurt… _He suddenly stumbled and fell, crumpling to the ground. _Itachi would have killed me un. That bastard. _

Sasuke ran over, eyes large with fear. "Deidara-nii! Naruto!"

The world spun around in a messy array of colors before turning black, and taking Deidara into the darkness along with it with one last thought spinning in his head.

_Crap. I think I crushed Naruto. _

* * *

Itachi coolly eyed the three shinobi in front of him. "So you claim to have been traveling with my foolish little brother and stupid friend Naruto-no-baka?"

They nodded.

"And now you've lost them?"

They nodded again.

Itachi blinked. "I see…." _Finally! I'm free! I'm free! _His inner shouted with joy. Itachi quickly shoved his inner back into the dark recesses of his mind where it belonged, forcing a glare onto his face. "If those two are hurt, there will be consequences."

"Whatever," Sasori said with a smirk. "How old are you- twelve, ten?"

Itachi snorted. "Thirteen. What are you, five?"

Sasori opened his mouth to make a smart comment back but was cut off by Pein who almost eagerly pushed the redhead out the way to stare at the Uchiha.

"What's your rank? How strong are you? Your siblings are kind of stupid."

Itachi raised a slender brow. "OK. First of all, I'm an Anbu. At age thirteen I must be pretty strong then right? And the only idiot who's my sibling is Sasuke. Naruto and Deidara are bigger idiots who tag along to make my life a living hell or otherwise confuse the heck out of me."

Kakuzu gave him a questioning look. Although it was pretty hard to tell with three-fourths of his face covered. "An Anbu? Why should we believe you?"

"Because you should," Itachi smartly replied, finally turning around to stare at the small crowd of chuunin who had been standing there the entire time. "And _what _are you lot doing just standing here and watching us!" he all but shouted.

Anko glared, pointing a finger at him. "Don't you raise your voice at _me _maggot! And what we're doing is none of your business!"

"It is when you're all holding pitchforks and shovels in my direction," Itachi irritably snapped. "And where the heck is Shisui?"

"Off with Genma collecting gnomes. They got seperated from us a while ago after being detoured by a bunch of rabid raccoons."

"And I can't believe you just said that with a straight face."

Anko shrugged. "Me neither."

Itachi let out a noise of annoyance and faced the strange trio once again. "Can you lead me to my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka?"

"If we can travel with you afterwards," Pein quickly said.

Itachi rolled his eyes again. "I really don't care. But after this stupid exam is over, I don't want to be followed home. I have enough trouble with the three idiots at home."

* * *

Sasuke looked up from where he had laid Deidara and Naruto under a safe nest of low hanging tree branches- and then sneezed. The two blondes on the ground violently spazzed before lying motionless once more. Sasuke stared at them wide eyed. "Whoa…that was _weird_."

* * *

Sasori shrugged. "Sure, it's fine with me."

"Thank God-"

"No! No it's not fine with me!" Pein suddenly cried out, lunging forward and earning strange looks from the entire group watching. "I have to have you join our club!"

Itachi stared. "Club?"

"Called Akatsuki!" Pein held a fist out in front of him, grinning so bright that it blinded everyone inside the clearing.

"AAAHH! How many times have I told you to keep your stupid mouth SHUT?" Sasori screamed, holding his pale hands over his eyes.

Anko stumbled back, waving a hand at the beaming Pein. "Argh! What kind of mass weapon of destruction is this?" She whirled around, facing her crew of equally blinded gnome-hunting-chuunin. "Everyone- move out! We have to get to safe territory!"

And so Itachi watched with slightly throbbing eyes as Anko and her fellow friends stumbled around in a giant circle before running into one another and colliding, falling to the ground in a giant unconscious heap. He twitched and slowly turned to Pein who was getting smacked over the head by Sasori.

"Sheesh, you almost killed your own teammates back there," Sasori scolded.

Pein scowled and kicked him in the shin. "Shut up _geezer."_

Sasori scoffed and kicked him right back. "You little twerp I'll-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Itachi held up his hands. "Just how old are you?"

Sasori gave him an uninterested look, holding back a swinging Pein with one hand. "I'm twenty eight."

Itachi felt his eyes bug. "What!"

Kakuzu gave an unimpressed snort. "Kid's got nothing on me though. _I'm _ninety-two."

Itachi stared. "How is that possible?"

"You don't need to know that right now," Sasori said with a slight smirk.

"Well…" Itachi looked over the two who he realized were much older than him before glancing at a slightly irked Pein. "How old are you then?"

Pein huffily brushed himself down. "I have no damn idea."

Itachi slowly nodded. "Right…anyhow-" he motioned to where Anko, Izumo, Hayate, Raido, and Kotetsu laid. "Let's just get out of here and find the rest of my team and the two kids you were traveling with earlier before these idiots wake up and attack us."

The mentioned group violently twitched from where they lay.

Kakuzu inwardly rolled his eyes as Pein and Itachi stared. "I agree. Let's not waste anymore time, because-"

"Time is money," the other three intoned with a sigh.

Pein gave Itachi an appraising look. "Ooh, you're learning quick."

Kakuzu clenched his fists and felt a vein pop. "You…annoying kids…"

* * *

-Meanwhile under a bunch of leaves-

* * *

Sasuke worriedly kneeled beside where his older brother figure and best friend lay, watching them in their sleep. "This is terrible," he said to himself. "I'm all alone with no one to talk to, Naruto won't wake up, and Deidara-nii got hit by some wacko jutsu by the enemy ninja. I wonder what I should do…?"

"I'll tell you what you can do," a sinister voice said from outside their hiding place. "You can hand over your scrolls."

Sasuke let out a small gasp, snapping his head up to look at the small team of Kumo nin who were smirking down at him.

The leader bent down, smirk growing wider. "Well?"

"I…I…" Sasuke looked down for a second before whipping his head back up and socking the shinobi in the face. He rolled out from his hiding place and jumped to his feet. "I think now is the time to pull a Haruno Sakura in five years!" He started to charge at the caught off guard ninja. "SHANNA-"

And tripped over a loose rock.

"-RO ack!"

The Kumo nin glanced at one another before helping their leader to his feet. Then they turned as one towards the injured Sasuke. "You're mine…" the leader growled, holding a hand over his bleeding nose.

Sasuke grasped his rolled ankle and watched with large eyes as the three shinobi surrounded him. "Oh no. I'm really doomed this time."

"Kukukukukuku…." the leader wiggled his fingers at the tiny Uchiha.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. He was in real trouble now!

* * *

**A/N: And I'll leave this chapter at that :D **

**Let me know how it was and watch out for the next updates!**

**^V^$ ****- That is a happy Kakuzu... **

**T_T* - And that is Sasori about to throw a shuriken at him. **

**^w^ - Pein doesn't care. **


	17. Unexpected Strength? And the Third Test!

**A/N: Haha, thank Kami summer's here! Chapters should be flying out now :D **

**Thank you to all my reviewers/readers! I really enjoy this story, and hope you're liking it as much as I am! **

**^v6**

**You know, I have no idea what that's an icon of, but whatever XD**

**I'd like to possibly hit maybe 100 reviews by the end of these next two chapters... But maybe that's too much to ask for ^-^u Anyhow, spread the love of a rainy summer and enjoy! Two especially longer chapters for the opening of the end of school! **

**Warning: Language, OOC, slight violence, the usual... **

* * *

Itachi jumped branch from branch, keeping his senses alert for any sign of his little brother's chakra signature. Sasori, Kakuzu, and Pein leaped alongside him.

"Itachi," Sasori spoke up from where they had been traveling in silence. "I found your brother's signature."

"That was fast," Itachi commented as they turned in the direction Sasuke was presumed to be in. Now he could feel the wavering chakra of his brother much easier. His eyes narrowed. "There are other chakra signatures around his. And they're not ones of an ally."

Kakuzu harrumphed. "Then let's pick up the pace shall we?"

The four rocketed off towards Sasuke's chakra.

_You stupid foolish little brother, _Itachi began to think. _You'd better be alright until we get there. _

* * *

Sasuke stared wide-eyed in fright from where he was in the center of the clearing.

The shinobi leered at him menacingly.

_I'm scared… _Sasuke thought, beginning to shake. _I'm scared… I'm scared. I'm scared! _

The three shinobi surrounding the tiny Uchiha lunged at once.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. "Somebody help me!"

There was the sound of metal clashing against metal, followed by several strangled cries and dull thuds of falling bodies.

"Well that was a close one, wasn't it un?"

Sasuke looked up from where he had covered his head with his hands, cracking his closed eyes open slowly. He jolted in surprise when he saw who had defended the attack. "N-Naruto?"

The whiskered blonde cracked his tiny knuckles. "Man this body is sooo small hmm. And why the heck am I even in it!" he spazzed, flinging his arms this way and that.

Sasuke looked at the three shinobi crawling back to their feet to his best friend who seemed to be possessed by the blonde he looked up to as an older brother. He looked over his shoulder to where Deidara remained laying under the cove of bushes and trees. _Deidara-nii's body is still there…then why-? _He dropped a fist into his open palm. "It must have been that jutsu!"

"Jutsu hmm?" Naruto looked at him while staying aware of the circling shinobi. "Oh yeah! Those stupid shinobi…" he muttered.

"What the hell is this?" the shinobi who had gotten socked in the face by Sasuke cried out. "He's just another little brat. Take him down!" he ordered the other two.

"H-Hai!" they shouted before charging.

Naruto cockily smirked, dodging a blow to the head before lightly dancing back several steps while avoiding being kicked by the shinobi in front of him. The second shinobi approached from behind, and Naruto quickly looked in between where he was trapped. "Er- right un," he muttered. "Hope Naru-chan knows how to do a split." The small blonde went down into a perfect split, causing the two shinobi above him to crash into one another. Naruto grinned in success before twisting his legs out and knocking the two shinobi off their feet and onto their backs.

Sasuke, who had scrambled to his feet during the fray, now stood by Deidara's body, watching in slight awe. "Boy, I sure do wish Deidara-nii could take over my body and make me look cool like that!"

Unfortunately for Naruto, he had the disadvantage of size on his side, and was soon pinned to the ground by the shinobi he had knocked over. The leader of the trio scoffed and walked over, crouching down and lifting the blonde's head by the front of his hair.

"That was pretty flashy boy," the leader sneered. "But nothing compared to us."

"Oh really?" Naruto asked with a raised brow. "Is that why your nose is so ugly and distorted?"

The leader's eyes narrowed in anger and he drew back a fist. "Why you stupid little-"

"Leave him alone!" Sasuke shouted, doing a flying kick into the side of the shinobi's head. The man went flying onto the opposite side of the clearing.

Naruto and the two other shinobi stared. "Huh," Naruto said with the hint of a smile. "I guess all that practice on Ita-kun does come in handy after all."

Sasuke turned on his heel, dangerously glaring at the shinobi dog-piled on top his best friend. "Get off of him. _Now_."

Naruto blinked in shock as the raven's eyes flashed the tiniest bit of red. _Wha-? Was that the- _

"S-Sure. Whatever you say kid," one of the shinobi said, climbing off Naruto's back. He yanked his fellow teammate up as well and then they ran over to their knocked out leader.

"Don't ever disturb us again," Sasuke snarled, looking like a very pissed off cat. And everyone knew how fatal messing with a pissed off cat was.

"Understood!" the two shinobi saluted before jumping up into the trees and vanishing form sight.

Sasuke sighed and then bent down to help Naruto to his knees. "Are you okay Deidara-nii?"

"Just peachy Sasu-kun," Naruto replied, searching himself for any sign of injury. He hoped that the younger blonde wouldn't be in any pain when he woke up. _I might have overdone it with that split though… _he thought with a slight sweatdrop.

"Foolish little brother? Naruto-no-baka?"

The two kids looked up at the sound of the taken aback voice.

Standing up on a very thick tree branch was Itachi, with an impassive Sasori, disgruntled Kakuzu, and cheerful Pein at his side.

Itachi disappeared from the branch, reappearing at the kids' side a second later. The rest followed. "What happened?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer when a woozy looking blonde stood to his small feet. "Ah! Be careful!" Sasuke worriedly said.

"Kami un," Naruto tiredly said, glaring at the older Uchiha. "It took you long enough to get here you stupid bastard…" The tiny blonde swayed on his feet before collapsing to the earth in Sasuke's arms.

Itachi's brows shot high onto his head. "Did he just…call me a bastard? Like Deidara would have?"

Sasuke dropped Naruto and leaped to his feet, looking at his older brother with large eyes. "Nii-san! It was terrible and so cool at the same time! Naruto and I were looking for you and Deidara-nii because we were worried about you guys and missed you- but then we got caught by those three weird shinobi behind you!" he shouted, pointing a finger at the mentioned trio. Pein waved. Sasuke blanched. "And then when we escaped and caught up to Deidara-nii, we got attacked by some these scary shinobi shouting crazy things about stuffing us and becoming his piñatas!"

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. "No one got hurt I presume…?" He may have a high dislike for his younger brother and the idiots that followed, but he was allowed to care for them when he wanted.

"I wasn't," Sasuke told him. "But the shinobi were using a strange jutsu and Deidara-nii hit me into Naruto so we wouldn't get caught in it. Deidara-nii got hit by it though and then he passed out on Naruto and I had to drag them here all by myself. And just when I thought it was safe, some _more _ninja came by and tried to take scrolls from us. I don't even know what scrolls he was talking about! I thought I was a goner but then Naruto came and saved me- but he was really Deidara-nii stuck inside his body!"

Itachi held up his hands. "Sasuke calm down-"

"He was doing really great until he got tackled and then the lead shinobi was gonna beat Deidara-nii and Naruto up, so I got angry and kicked him in the face! Then I told him and his buddies to beat it or else I'd hurt them bad!" Sasuke turned redder and redder in the face as he spoke, frantically waving his fists around until he ended up passing out onto the ground.

Itachi stared, sweatdropping slightly. "O-K then…" _He got really angry just now… I could've sworn his eyes were… _

Kakuzu blinked as the Uchiha moved away from Sasuke to look for Deidara. "Do you normally leave your sibling lying on the ground?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I?" Itachi asked with a completely serious expression.

Kakuzu deadpanned. "Nevermind."

Pein wandered over to an underbrush of low branches and bushes, noticing a blonde figure beneath it. "Hmm? What's this?"

Itachi, finding Naruto sprawled coincidentally right beside him, picked the Kitsune up and carried him carefully over to where Sasori and Kakuzu were next to Sasuke. He quietly sighed to himself. Why was it, that neither of the idiots he was with could ever take care of themselves and _not _get in trouble?

"Is he alright?" Kakuzu gruffly questioned. The blonde brat had caused a lot of grief for him. _Annoying little…_

"Should be fine," Itachi said with an analytical eye, holding Naruto from under the armpits. "Now that Deidara seems to be out of his body…"

And then he dropped him.

Right next to Sasuke.

Sasori and Kakuzu's eyes went wide. "IS THAT ANYWAY TO TREAT A CHILD?" they shouted.

Itachi looked at them uncaringly. "My foolish little brother and idiotic friend shouldn't have come in here in the first place."

"You have no heart…" Sasori muttered and Kakuzu wiped away a tear drop.

Itachi felt a brow twitch. "Don't you go acting out of character on me!" He crossed his arms, glancing around. "And where the heck is Pein? I can't feel Deidara's chakra signature either."

"Yohoo~! Over here!" Pein excitedly called, waving his hand this way and that from under a low alcove made of trees and bushes. "I found a princess!"

"Shut up you moron!" Sasori shouted with a popped vein, throwing a rock at his head.

"A princess?" Itachi warily eyed an irritated Sasori and then to where Pein was. "Does it have obnoxiously long blonde hair? 'Cause if it does, then it's Deidara."

Sasori and Kakuzu stared at the raven with large sweatdrops. _As if you can even talk about long hair…_they thought in unison.

Pein held his chin, pointing down. "Well it fit's the description! He looks completely knocked out though..."

"Thank you for stating the obvious," Itachi muttered, walking over to where Pein stood over Deidara.

"Hmm…" Sasori leaned to the side, staring intently at Deidara. "Well I can see where your other little brother gets his looks from."

Itachi shot him a withering glare. "Those idiots aren't my brothers."

"Right, and Kakuzu's my mom," Sasori dryly said.

Itachi rolled his eyes and leaned over the blonde with a quite serious face, contemplating something.

"What is he doing?" Sasori asked Kakuzu.

"How should I know? Do I look like I would know?" Kakuzu spazzed, lying Sasuke next to Sasori's foot and beside Naruto.

"Well okay then, Mr. Sun-Up-My-Ass," Sasori scoffed.

"Okay," Itachi said, waving the group of three over. "I've figured it out."

Pein walked over, clapping appraisingly. "Ooh. Nicely done. You're a smart one."

Itachi ignored him in favor of talking to one of the older, more _experienced_, men in front of him. He still get over the fact that one was close to pushing the big 100. "My foolish little brother said that his idiotic friend was only knocked out by Deidara throwing them into each other. But Deidara got hit by some unknown jutsu that sounds like it would be poison fog." He glanced down at the blonde. "Although, I don't think that's the case at all."

Sasori crossed his arms. "Okay. So what are you getting at?"

Itachi crouched down behind the Iwa nin with a blank face, cracking his fingers importantly. "There seems to be only one solution to wake this _moron _up."

"Um…" Pein and the others took a step back as the Uchiha began to snicker under his breath and wiggle his fingers towards Deidara's waistline. "What are you-?"

"SUUUUPPPPPEEEERRR WEDGIE NO JUTSU!" Itachi shouted, yanking the blonde's boxer's up and over his head.

Deidara was up in an instant, howling and blindly stumbling around as he tried to remove his underwear from where it was quite stuck on his head.

Itachi grabbed Deidara by one shoulder, moving to help the bomber before he suffocated to death. "See?" he said to the baffled group of foreign nins. "Works every time."

"What _was _that?" Kakuzu asked in slight horror, feeling sorry for Deidara who was rubbing his backside while shooting the Uchiha a nasty glare.

Itachi shrugged, warily eyeing an approaching blonde. "It's a jutsu I made up several years ago." He dodged a punch from an angry Deidara. "I used to use it on Sasuke whenever he was being annoying, but then tou-san and kaa-san found out and…" Itachi finally rolled his eyes, sweeping Deidara's feet out from under him before sitting on the Iwa nin's back. He looked up at Kakuzu. "Well…I couldn't use it until they left for their vacation, you know?"

"No," Kakuzu muttered. "I don't."

"_Itachi_! You fat pig- get off of me!" Deidara screamed from where he was trapped underneath the raven.

Itachi couldn't help but smirk. "Maybe if you ask politely I will."

"Hell no!"

"Sucks for you then." Itachi turned his attention back to his newfound teammates, ignoring the string of profane words exiting from Deidara's mouth. "We're running low on time. Do you guys have the scrolls you need?"

"Of course," Sasori pulled out a Heaven and Earth scroll. "I trust you do as well?"

Itachi nodded.

As if just noticing the group of three and unconscious Sasuke and Naruto lying beside them, Deidara blinked in surprise and suddenly using his strength, pushed Itachi off of him.

Itachi scowled from where he had just been face-planted. "Dei-da-ra…" he growled, sitting up. "What was that for?" he said with a popped vein.

Deidara jumped to his feet, pointing at the strange trio of shinobi. "Who the heck are they un? And what happened to Sasu-kun and Naru-chan?"

Itachi sighed, rubbing his brow as he stood. "Baka. You know how my foolish little brother and idiotic friend snuck into the Forest right?"

Deidara slowly and suspiciously bobbed his head.

"Well these guys were kind enough to run into them before they got maimed by the other shinobi in the area," Itachi informed him. "Naruto got knocked out by _you _if I recall and Sasuke passed out because of overexcitement and fear. And apparently you saved Sasuke and Naruto from a potentially dangerous jutsu?"

"That I did hmm," Deidara said with a swell of pride, seemingly placated.

And then he crashed to the ground.

"Dammit un! Those side effects are still here!" Deidara cursed.

Itachi raised a brow, helping the blonde stand. "What kind of jutsu was it?"

"I don't know," Deidara raged, wobbling a few feet away. "Some stupid-ass one called Cloud Confusion or some shit like that un!"

"Well calm down will you," Itachi irritably said. "You're giving me a headache."

"Hmph. Sorry."

"Apology accepted. I think your body is just trying to figure out how to function normally again. Your balance and coordination might be off for a while, but you'll live." **Unfortunately**_… _his inner thought.

**Hey I heard that you bastard! **Deidara's inner screamed at him.

Itachi's inner went wide eyed before a vein popped and he tried to shove the blonde's inner out of his bubble. **What the hell! How did you even get in here!**

**I don't know!**

**Well get out already! **Itachi's inner shouted, punting the blonde far out of his mind.

Deidara cringed and held a hand to his head, muttering under his breath about 'bastards and their stupid heads'.

Now…" Itachi motioned towards the trio of shinobi who had just been staring at them until they had finished. "I'll introduce them quickly so we can hurry up and get to the tower. Kakuzu is the one with the mask, he's older than he looks so don't underestimate him. Pein is the one with all the piercings. I think he was going through a rebellious phase or something. And the redhead is Sasori."

"…"

"…"

Sasori stared at him. "What- nothing to say about me?"

Itachi stared back. "Nope."

Sasori rolled his eyes, looking Deidara- who was glaring holes into his head for some reason- up and down. "I hear you're an artist," he said.

"And your standing on Sasu-kun's shirt. Get off," Deidara snapped.

Sasori felt an eye twitch, but moved off Sasuke's shirt hem all the same.

"Thank you hmm." Deidara narrowed his eyes at the Suna nin. "So what about me being an artist?"

Sasori took a deep breath to calm his rising anger and looked someplace else. "Nevermind. A brat like you could never be an artist."

"What was that?"

"You heard me."

"As if you would know. What are you un- five?"

"Way older than a mere _baby _like you," Sasori scorned. "And a far better artist."

Several ticks appeared on the Iwa nin's forehead. "What kind of art do you excel in? The art of pissing people off hmm?"

Sasori blinked. "If that's my art then yours must be the art of stupidity."

Kakuzu and Itachi looked back and forth between them like a ping-pong match. Itachi almost getting whiplashed, and Kakuzu _getting_ lashed by the Uchiha's long hair.

"My art is fleeting. Beautiful and gone in an instant!" Deidara almost shouted, getting a _tad _bit excited. "Like KA-BAM! And BO-BA-BANG!" He flailed his arms around in exuberance.

"Art is not fleeting baka," Sasori drawled, catching his wrist before it jabbed him in the eye. "It's eternal and meant to last forever."

"_Ugh_." Deidara flinched. "How old _are _you?" he asked as if he was in pain, pulling his hand away.

"Shut up."

"No you shut up un."

"Just shut your mouth!"

"Why don't you stuff a sock in yours!"

"And the cow goes-"

"SHUT UP!" Sasori and Deidara shouted at Pein who merely gave a Cheshire grin in response.

Itachi and Kakuzu stuffed their fingers in each other ears.

Sasori and Deidara stared at each other for several seconds in silence.

Then Deidara smirked. "Well I think we'll get along great un."

Sasori smugly smirked back. "I can agree with you on that point."

They shook hands and then faced a twitching Kakuzu and Itachi. Pein was busy trying to put both Sasuke and Naruto on his back. "What?" they asked.

Itachi smacked a palm to his face as Kakuzu said, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Deidara suddenly cheered, pumping a fist into the air. "Let's finish this test!"

Itachi took Naruto from Pein and slung him over his back and then threw Sasuke at Deidara who barely caught him. He smiled slightly at the surprised blonde. "What are you doing? Let's go."

Deidara's face broke out into a wide grin. "Un!"

* * *

Deidara and the others stood in front of the Tower doors. Albeit they were _broken _ones, but the same doors all the same.

Itachi gave a sheepishly chuckling Iwa nin a look. "You wouldn't have anything to do with that, would you?"

Deidara waved his hand. "Of course not un." He twitched slightly, stepping over the body of the unconscious shinobi the proctors had yet to move. _Of course the proctors are out on a gnome hunt at the moment un…_

When they entered the Tower, they were met with a surprisingly large amount of bustling shinobi who had made it within in the time limit like themselves. All of them soon became crushed in the crowd down a narrow hall which led to a pair of oak double doors, decked with holly.

"Falalalala-lalalala-"

Itachi twitched, kicking Deidara in the face. "What are you doing?"

"You bastard un! I was just trying to spread the cheer!" Deidara pouted.

Itachi turned to him with a cricking neck. "In the middle of summer…?"

Deidara blew a raspberry before dancing off in the opposite direction.

"Come back here with my foolish little brother! Don't run with him like that!" Itachi chased after him with a fist raised, seemingly forgetting that he had Naruto flopping unconsciously on his back.

"What's with all these doors?" Kakuzu said in an annoyed tone under his breath.

"Beats me," Pein chirped.

"I don't recall asking you," Kakuzu growled.

Pein offered an ear-splitting grin.

There was a desk in front of the doors, a man with a navy blue bandana over his head and sunglasses over his eyes. He was taking scrolls from the shinobi and waving them into the doors.

Itachi walked over with a brow raised. _What in the…_

"Ita-kun? You know him or something?" Deidara curiously asked, sidling back up to the raven.

"Something like that," Itachi murmured, getting in line behind Kakuzu's team who in turn went behind Kakashi's.

"Ebisu? I didn't know you were a proctor," Obito said, mildly surprised.

"What I do, is no one's business but my own," the proctor said in a professional tone. He turned his attention to the kunoichi that had stepped up in front of him, ready to enter. "Congratulations on passing the second test, may I-?" he stopped as he realized he was talking to a pair of mesh covered breasts. His head reared back, large nosebleed erupting. "Kami-sama help me!" he exclaimed.

"Pervert!" Rin shrieked, covering her chest and smacking the nin across the cheek. She threw her team's scrolls at him before yanking Obito and Kakashi through the doors with her.

Deidara and Sasori had identical smirks on their faces.

"It's not funny!" Ebisu cried while holding his smarting cheek.

"Here are our scrolls," Kakuzu said before things could grow even more out of hand.

Ebisu took it with a sniff, waving him and his team inside. "Just go in…"

Pein skipped in after Kakuzu, Sasori giving Ebisu one last smirk before disappearing inside.

Deidara couldn't help snicker as he and Itachi stepped up with the kids on their backs, it being their turn up to enter. "Hey pervert," he teased.

Ebisu looked at them with a dark gleam in his eye and puckered lips. He held out a hand. "Your scrolls please," he said in a slightly demented voice.

Itachi pulled out a Heaven scroll while Deidara pulled out an Earth. They exchanged a glance and then handed their scrolls over to the man.

"Alright, you may go in," Ebisu said before chucking their hard-earned scrolls in a fire behind him without even looking.

"What the-!"

Itachi covered Deidara's mouth and dragged him through the inner tower doors where Sasori, Pein, and Kakuzu were waiting. Another pair of doors was awaiting them at the end of the crowded hall.

"Hmm… a lot of other shinobi made it through the Forest," Deidara idly commented as he looked around. He and the others began making their way to the new pair of doors.

"What did you expect?" Itachi muttered, casting him a glance. "The only real threat in the Forest this year was the overwhelming amount of idiots inside and Orochimaru."

"True…very true un."

Deidara was so busy glancing around, he hadn't noticed he was about to run into someone until he bumped into their chest. He stepped back, ready to apologize. "Sorry about-" he cut himself off, blanching. "Nevermind."

"Wah- how _cold _Dei-kun~!" Kakashi crooned, leaning forward to poke him in the forehead.

"Ow! Don't do that!" Deidara shouted at the silver-haired shinobi.

Kakashi blinked and then questioningly tilted to the side. "Is that Sasuke-chan on your back? What's he doing here?"

Deidara moved back. "None of your business un!"

Kakashi smiled. "You're polite as always."

Itachi walked over at the sound of a disturbance, flinching when he saw the cause. "Deidara take it easy… And Kakashi…" he resisted the urge to add a honorific at the end. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Fancy meeting you here," Kakashi said with a smirk before bursting out into snickers.

"Kakashi," Itachi deadpanned. "This is a Chuunin Exam filled with plenty of other shinobi that you're bound to meet more than once."

"Yeah but I was sure your team would have failed," Kakashi laughed, flapping a hand carelessly.

Deidara felt a tick mark appear. "Really now?"

Itachi grabbed him by the back of his shirt before he could attack. "Come on, let's not waste time. I just want to get this test done and over with…And you have Sasuke on your back. Be more careful."

"Hmph." Deidara tore himself from the Uchiha's grasp, stalking over to the pair of double doors that had yet to be let into.

Suddenly the lights in the Tower dimmed, and a large staircase from nowhere appeared. A beautiful teen with long black hair and piercing eyes walked down with the elegance of a Queen, dressed in fishnet leggings and light red kimono that barely came down to the middle of her thighs. She tossed back her hair in a wave of sparkles, earning lovesick sighs from all the shinobi waiting below. Even the kunoichi were awed by her presence.

Expect for Sasori and Itachi.

They shared a glance. "Why aren't we affected by her womanly charms?" Sasori inquired as Deidara and Pein turned into puddles at their feet.

"How should I know?" Itachi answered. He sadly shook his head. "Even Kakuzu's lost it…"

Kakuzu was sighing dreamily, tossing up imaginary roses at the girl.

Sasori felt a tick mark appear. "Alrighty then."

As soon as it had appeared, the staircase vanished and the lights turned back on. The beautiful teen stood in front of them, a hand on her hip. "Hi there everyone. My name is Kurenai Yuhi. But you can just call me Kurenai."

A large cry of, "WE LOVE YOU KURENAI-SENPAI!" erupted into the air.

Itachi felt his fists clench. _Oh my Kami. If these morons scream one more time…_

Kurenai gave them a dazzling smile, waving her hands for calm. "Congratulations boys and girls on making it this far. You're almost to the end, and I won't make you wait any longer." She motioned towards a smoking teen, leaning against a wooden crank that would swing open the doors. He had long dark hair slicked back in a bump on his head and tanned skin, probably from lying out in the sun for too long. Kurenai couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Asuma!" she barked. "These kids have been waiting long enough. Open the doors for them will you?"

Asuma chuckled, running a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time. "Oh I'll open these doors alright…"

Kurenai pointed towards Asuma with flaming red cheeks. "S-Shut up! Just hurry up and open the doors already!"

Asuma slicked back his hair and flashed the girl an award winning smile. "Anything for you baby~"

The group of waiting shinobi deadpanned simultaneously. _Disgusting! _

Kurenai's face flushed even more. "B-Baka! Do as you're told!"

Asuma chuckled and started to turn the crank that would open the doors they now realized was like a drawbridge.

"This isn't medieval times!" Itachi practically screamed, gripping the sides of his cheeks.

Asuma continued to lower the drawbridge with a dopey grin on his face.

Kurenai hopped down from her post once the bridge was lowered, coughing lightly with a blush across her nose. "Now- you've earned the right to move on to the third and final test. I wish you all the best of luck-"

"Free autographs!" Asuma cheered, throwing copies of his own photos into the air around gagging shinobi.

"Asuma!" Kurenai shrieked, dragging him away by his ear.

They all stared.

And then turned towards the drawbridge.

Sasori shook his head and glanced at the temporary team he had formed an alliance with. "Well…" he offered a dazzling smile. "Shall we get going?"

Kakuzu and Itachi fiercely flushed while Pein cooed and Deidara slammed a fist into the redhead's face. "Cut it out un!"

Sasori scowled, holding his newly acquired bruise. "Fun sucker."

Deidara soon acquired a tic mark. "You…"

Kakuzu pulled Deidara by the arm up ahead before a fight could break out. "Okay, okay. Let's see what our final test it."

Itachi shifted Naruto on his back and then nudged Pein to follow the masked ninja, Sasori trailing behind with a seemingly permanent frown.

The other shinobi looked at one another and then shrugged, soon following and not having much else to do.

"Huh?" Kakuzu released his hold on the blonde bomber once he made it across the drawbridge.

Deidara staggered forward, almost losing his hold on Sasuke.

Sasori narrowed his eyes. "Great. Just great."

"Bath time~! Good thing I brought my rubber ducky!" Pein enthusiastically hoorayed, suddenly in nothing by a towel and scrub on his head.

Sasori turned to him with a popped vein. "Will you shut up and put some clothes on!" he screamed at him.

Pein hung his arms, muttering under his breath as he pulled his cloak back on. "Stupid daddy…"

"I'M NOT YOUR DAD!" Sasori roared, scaring a few surrounding ninja away.

Kakashi and Obito exchanged glances amidst the bickering going on next to them. "The third test…" Obito muttered.

Rin gasped and covered her mouth with a hand. "Wha-?"

"What…" Deidara started to say, grasping onto the railing in front of him.

"In the world…" Itachi murmured.

"Is this?" they all shouted at once, gazing at the crashing waves and hundreds of wooden posts stuck in the water fifteen feet above the snapping jaws of hungry sharks.

"Doesn't it look fun?" an amused voice said, a dark figure stepping out of the shadows from beside them. "Your third test, that is…"

Everyone's eyed widened.

* * *

**A/N: Who's that mysterious man! *gasp* **

**Anyhow, it somehow feels like a rushed chapter... **

**Let me know how it was anyway please. **


	18. Get to the Top First!

**A/N: Hooray for a second one! Just as long as the one before it! **

**Warning: Language, slight violence, OOC, anything else you find needs one...**

**^v^# Enjoy!**

* * *

Ibiki stepped out from the shadows, a sinister smirk on his face. "What's the matter? Are you scared? A shinobi would never fear something as placid as these shark-infested waters…"

"Who said we're scared of you un?" Deidara crossed his arms and leaned to the side. "We're just wondering why the hell you're holding a lifesaver and talking to us."

Itachi whacked the blonde over the head. "It's a light saber baka."

Deidara frowned at him. "You didn't have to hit me so hard hmm!"

Ibiki felt an eye twitch. _Oh no. That blonde kid made it. I better make this quick before I get a headache and loose my self control. _"I'm here to explain your third test," he said, lowering his light saber. "It's a test that requires balance and working under pressure, since only the first four teams to make it will pass. You must use your brains and skill to keep other shinobi from getting to the top before you. Daring to fight on these small sized posts-"

"Get on with it!" a random shinobi shouted from the back.

Ibiki growled before chucking his saber at the kid's face. "Silence!" _My God I'm losing it. _

"Ow!"

Everyone took a wary step back.

"Your task," Ibiki said with clenched fists, "is to make it to the platform above. And from there walk down the corridor full of traps to the room at the end. Make it there, and you pass the third exam, having the right to earn the name Chuunin."

Itachi stood behind the rails and looked over and down to where there were plenty of sharks swimming around. _Seriously? I don't remember having to go through this when I was five…_

* * *

_Flashback-_

* * *

"_Okay kids," Ibiki told the group of five year old prodigies and gruff older teens who stood before him. _

"_I'm not a kid," one of the teens harrumphed. "And how the hell did these stupid brats make it all the way to the third test?" he scornfully glared at Itachi who merely stared back with a blank face. He was beginning to get pissed off. "Why don't you smile or something!'" the teen shouted. _

_Itachi continued to stare, but on the inside was giggling quite loudly. _I love pissing people off with that blank expression!

_Ibiki threw a rock at the kid. "Shut up!" he barked. "Unless you want to fail, quietly stand there and keep your mouth zipped tight!"_

_The teen sulked but quieted down all the same. _

"_Now," Ibiki turned sideways, revealing a bunch of alphabet designed blocks. "Your third test…is to build a pyramid out of these shapes. Successfully do this, and you pass. Understand?" he said, speaking mostly to the kids. _

_Itachi, Shisui, and Kakashi bobbed their heads in unison. "Hai."_

_The teen from earlier felt his jaw drop to the ground. "WHAT KIND OF BAT-SHIT EASY TEST IS-"_

"_That's it," Ibiki seethed. "You FAIL!"_

_Meanwhile, Itachi had easily managed to build a pyramid. He emotionlessly faced Ibiki and held out a hand. "Ta-da," he monotoned. _

_Ibiki clapped his hands together in approval. "Well done Uchiha! You pass!"_

* * *

_End Flashback-_

* * *

Itachi sweatdropped. _That _might _be the reason why… _he thought to himself.

"That looks to be a lot of water…"

Itachi glanced beside him to where a certain blonde stood with a brow raised and unconscious Sasuke on his back. "What's the matter with water?"

Deidara looked at him. "Clay doesn't mix well with water un."

"Then just don't fall in," Itachi said.

"Easy for you to say," Deidara rolled his eyes. "I'm still suffering lack of coordination from that jutsu and having Sasu-kun on my back isn't making it any easier."

"Then give my foolish little brother to me," Itachi told him, holding out his arms.

Deidara suspiciously eyed him. "How do I know you won't just drop him into one of the shark's mouths hmm?"

Itachi stared at him. "You know- there's a thing called THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK BAKA!" he shouted, conking the blonde on the head.

"Itai! You stupid ogre!"

"What did you say? You cow!"

"Beached whale!"

"Why you-!"

Sasori pushed their touching foreheads apart from one another, shaking his head in annoyance. "Take it easy brats. Look, we're about to be let in."

Itachi and Deidara moved away from one another in time to see Ibiki wave at them from his sudden perch on the highest platform. He must have moved up there while they were bickering. And then the rails that had been preventing them from falling over the edge of the floor opened like a gate, sending several shinobi too close to the edge to their quite gruesome deaths.

Sasori clapped the two previously arguing teens on the back. "Alright," he said as the ninja teams that had made it to the third test began moving for the high platform. "Let's move out."

"Hmph." Deidara shoved Sasuke in Itachi's direction without looking and took off from the floor, leaping from post to post in a slightly off-balance manner.

Itachi sighed heavily and held Sasuke in his arms in an uncomfortable way. After all, he still had a slobbering Naruto on his back. And he didn't quite trust Pein and the others with either of the kids, seeing as they _lost _them before. "As much as I'd like to say Deidara can take care of himself…" he watched as the Iwa nin stumbled into the back of a shinobi already precariously balancing on a post, causing a minor tussle which several other shinobi got into the middle of. "Well…I'd better keep behind him just in case."

"What a good kid," Pein said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

"Oh just shut up," Sasori said in exasperation.

"Sasori!" Pein cried in astonishment. "Have you no heart?"

Sasori dryly eyed him. "I do have one. And it's quite big."

"Have you ever thought that maybe you should use it more often?" Pein asked as they advanced on top the posts and knocked several ninja off theirs.

"Hey Pein," Sasori said, not looking at his leader.

"Yeah?"

Sasori halted on a post behind Itachi and Deidara, turning on his heel to grab the orange-haired teen by his shirt. "Have you ever thought for EVEN _ONCE _to shut that goddamn hole in your face!" he shouted.

Pein thoughtfully stroked his chin. "No. Not really."

A vein on Sasori's head popped. "AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" he screamed, swinging Pein around him by his neck. Two unfortunate teams of shinobi happening to pass by were whammed off their poles of wood and into several hungry sharks' mouths below.

"Holy crap!" Itachi screamed, ducking and pulling Deidara down with him before they too suffered the fate of the falling shinobi. He glared at Sasori who had thrown Pein into Kakuzu and was now cooling down. "Watch where you're swinging that thing!" he yelled at the redhead.

Sasori merely shrugged and continued on his merry way towards the highest platform without a single apology.

Kakuzu gruffly pushed Pein onto his own post, kicking a kunoichi in the stomach that was trying to stab him. "Gee, what great manners you have," he sarcastically said.

"Like your one to talk," Deidara smirked.

Kakuzu glared. "What was that?"

"Nothing hmm." Deidara began to whistle, bounding up ahead.

"I don't know how you deal with him," Kakuzu told Itachi as they hurried to catch up to their temporary teammates.

"Deidara?" Itachi skeptically raised both brows, shifting Sasuke carefully in his arms. "I don't know how you deal with _your _friends."

"Friends?" Kakuzu snorted. "More like two idiots I got stuck watching over."

"Sounds just like me…" Itachi muttered. They passed Pein and Deidara who had come to a stop for some odd reason.

"Psst! Hey Deidara!" Pein secretly whispered, even though the blonde was _right _next to him.

"What is it?" Deidara whispered back just as secretly.

Pein swiveled his head side-from-side before saying with a stern face, "I want to ask you something very important."

Deidara nodded, a serious expression on. "I'm listening un."

"Wanna get strong? Then join our club!" Pein suddenly proclaimed in an excited voice.

"Strong?" Deidara grinned. "I'm in un!"

"Great. I'll just need you to fill out these papers real quick," Pein said, holding out a stack of files and purposely covering what the words said.

Deidara bobbed his head, too occupied with staying balanced on the pole to do much of anything else. "Sure, whatever un. Just get me a pen or something."

Pein pulled one out of his hair. "And here ya go~!"

"Arigatou," Deidara smiled.

Itachi looked over his shoulder at them with a popped vein. "What are you two doing? This isn't the time to be doing that!"

Deidara stuck his tongue out before signing both his and Itachi's name throughout the packet of paper, throwing the pen behind him without looking.

"Ah! My eye!" a random shinobi shouted before toppling off his wooden post and into the shark infested waters below.

Deidara looked down into the water. "I didn't cause that."

Itachi held a fist up to him. "Just shut up and figure out a way for us to get out of here before any more teams beat us to the finish line you idiot!"

"Shut up un! I don't see _you _doing anything!"

"I'm the one holding onto our scrolls _and _two unconscious kids!"

"Yeah well- Kami I hate you hmm!"

"Just quit talking already!"

Sasori rolled his eyes at the two's bickering, instead glancing up at the ceiling. His eyes narrowed, a smirk coming onto his face when he noticed what exactly the ceiling was made out of. His warm eyes trailed off to the platform where they needed to get to and then to the water below. _Hmm…I see… _"Kakuzu," he called.

The teen looked at him from where he was fending off attack from other ninja. "What is it?" He punched a shinobi in the face, sending him to his doomed fate in the mouth of a shark.

* * *

-Meanwhile on the top platform-

* * *

"Whew! Finally made it!"

"Thank Kami…I thought I was gonna fall in," Obito muttered to himself.

Kakashi and his team had managed to make it to the highest platform, using plenty of clones and back hair to make a ladder that would take them to the top.

Rin shuddered as she stepped off the last back of one of Kakashi's clones. "All that hair was unnecessary and disgusting," she said.

"Hey," Kakashi said, jabbing a thumb at a waiting Obito. "It wasn't my hair, it was his."

"Was not!" Obito protested. "You're the only one with silver hair!"

"You could of dyed yours!" Kakashi argued.

"Because my life dream is to look like you," Obito dryly remarked. "Get real!"

"No you get real and believe it!"

"I will when you stop using other baka's catch-phrases!"

"Alright, alright!" Rin stomped her foot in anger. "That's enough! Let's just go down the stupid corridor already!" she screamed.

Kakashi and Obito shrunk back, exchanging a glance as their brunette teammate stormed off down the trap-filled corridor.

"How scary…" Kakashi marveled.

"Tell me about it…" Obito uttered.

"Hi guys!"

"WHO THE-!"Kakashi and Obito jumped in fright, pivoting on their heel to see a familiar group of people standing behind them.

Shisui waved. "Howdy."

"How did you get up here? No- where did you even come from?" Obito asked, holding a hand over his pounding heart.

"You _maggots_ forgot to dispel your clones," Anko said, picking her teeth with one of Genma's needles.

"Nani?" Obito quickly formed a seal, dispelling his clones and effectively sending the few shinobi who had also been climbing up to their deaths.

Anko appreciatively whistled. "Nicely done moron."

"Er…thanks?"

"Let's not stand here any longer," Hayate said with a twitching brow. He wanted nothing more than to get back to the main room where he could relax and not go wandering through the forest in search of nonexistent gnomes with a psychopathic leader and equally psychopathic followers.

"You look a little worse for wear," Kotetsu said with a snicker.

"As if you look any better," Izumo laughed, nudging his friend.

In fact, none of them looked the peachiest. All were covered in scratches and dirt, with twigs and leaves stuck in their hair.

Raido scratched behind his ear. "Why don't we make it through the corridor and then take showers to clean ourselves? I'm beginning to get a rash…"

"Aw man," Genma said as he and the rest stepped back. "That's just gross. Don't touch me dude."

Raido deadpanned and poked him.

"AAAHHH KAMI! I'M MELTING!" Genma screamed, crumpling to the floor.

Everyone stared.

* * *

-Back with Sasori and Kakuzu-

* * *

Sasori nudged his head in an upwards direction to where he heard a brief scream. "Think you can use your threads to latch onto the ceiling and swing us over? The ceiling is made of metal beams not fully connected to the roof."

Kakuzu grunted. "Am I going to get-"

"I'm not paying you Kakuzu," Sasori interrupted. "You get to walk away with your five hearts intact. How's that?"

Kakuzu let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. But my hands are kind of full with these annoying pests," he said, wiping out a whole row of shinobi with well-aimed kunai. "Get rid of them first so I can get a good hold on one of those beams."

"No problem," Sasori laughed. He jumped off his post, kicking a few opponents into the water along the way, and landed on an empty post next to Deidara's. "Hey- think you can blast some of these guys out of sight?"

Deidara smirked, already forming several clay butterflies. "On it. Just give me a target un."

Sasori gave an equally smug smirk and pointed to where Kakuzu was standing, concentrating on the ceiling and completely ignoring his surroundings. "The shinobi attacking him." His finger moved to the miniature sea beneath them. "Just try not to knock him into the water while you're at it."

"Who do you take me for?" Deidara asked while grinning. "An amateur?"

Sasori harrumphed and quickly bounded over to where Pein and Itachi were, on standby on separate posts. "Get ready to head for Kakuzu. Itachi, you can take the kids and go first. Pein, you're a pansy, you can follow afterwards."

Pein glared. "Shut up Sasori."

"Whatever," Sasori said. "I'll go next and Deidara will follow. He can keep the other stupid ninja at bay."

Itachi spared the cackling blonde a glance from where he repelled wave after wave of shinobi. "Okay then. Sounds good to me. Let's get moving."

Sasori nodded. "Right."

Kakuzu smiled beneath his mask, eyes narrowing at a beam close enough to the platform to swing over to. He raised an arm, thick strands of thread shooting out into the air to wrap around the beam. He gave a few experimental tugs among the explosions behind him and then waved with his free arm to an approaching Itachi. "Alright, hurry it up."

Itachi resisted the urge to blow a raspberry and threw Sasuke at him instead. "Take my foolish little brother and go," he said before shifting Naruto in his arms and following close afterwards.

* * *

Ibiki hummed thoughtfully, watching the events in the room unfold from where he was waiting in the lobby for those who passed the third exam to enter. Unlucky for him, the only ones he had was Kakashi's team and his proctors Anko and the others with Shisui. Speaking of which…

"Man these chips are stale," Shisui said as he threw one into his mouth.

Ibiki turned to him with a popped vein. "What are you doing! That's the poison tablets we feed to those we don't like- I mean, that's not for you!"

Shisui pouted, crossing his arms. "No fair. At least I have this stick of pocky," he said holding a strangely red colored stick up.

Ibiki lunged forward, snatching it from the teen's outstretched hand. "That's explosive pocky! Where did you even get that!" he shouted at the smiling Uchiha.

"I have no clue," Shisui honestly said.

Ibiki slapped a palm to his head. "OK. That's it. Anko!"

The girl looked over at him. "What is it _now_?"

"Is that any way to talk to your elders?" Ibiki said in thinly veiled patience. "You know what, nevermind. Just take Shisui and the others out of here before I go mad."

Anko slowly blinked. "And…where am I supposed to take the maggots?"

"I don't know!" Ibiki finally snapped. "Just out of my sight!"

"Take it easy Mr. Uptight," Anko said with a roll of her eyes. "Alright worm," she grabbed Shisui by his ear, "let's get going. Kakashi! Get your pathetic self over here already!"

"Never! I have to watch Itachi and Deidara suffer! They must lose!" Kakashi cried in near madness.

Obito and Rin merely sighed, grabbing their silver-haired teammate by the arm on either side and beginning to drag him after Anko.

Ibiki let out a sigh of relief after they left the room, leaving him in a peaceful silence. And then explosions began going off from his television screen, followed by the sounds of slightly maniacal cackling. "What in the world-?"

* * *

Sasori looked over his shoulder from where he was getting ready to swing over to the platform with Kakuzu. "That kid…is crazy," he deadpanned, watching as Deidara let loose on his clay 'art'. _Art…hmph. What an idiot…_

Kakuzu grunted, giving his thread an experimental shrug. "This isn't going to last much longer. All that swinging is wearing down on this chord."

"Oh." Sasori rummaged around in his scarf for a while, pulling out a long rope and holding it out to a wide-eyed Kakuzu. "Here, use this," he said.

"What the-" Kakuzu took hold of it and then bopped Sasori over the head. "You could have just given this to me ahead of time!"

"I forgot!" Sasori defensively said. "Anyway, let's just hurry up. Itachi already to his siblings and is waiting for us."

Kakuzu harrumphed, muttering under his breath as he detached the thread in his arm and inside lassoed the rope Sasori had given him in its place. Yeah. Kakuzu was skilled in the ways of roping…. "Alright," the masked nin said. "I'm gonna go first. You and that psycho blonde can follow afterwards. No one seems to have noticed what we were doing this entire time for some reason…"

"That's because Deidara is blasting them before they get the chance to," Sasori said with a smirk. "Alright, go on Kakuzu. I'll watch your back."

Deidara paused in his explosions, finding himself low on clay, and looked around the area. There were little shinobi around, most of them drowning. "Hmm…Maybe I should meet back up with the others now un. Where's Itachi…?" he absently muttered.

As of on cue, the thirteen year old raven peered out from the platform and looked around, catching his eye.

"Ah- Itachi!" Deidara brought his arm up behind him to punch an approaching ninja and then waved. "Sasu-kun and Naru-chan are safe?" he shouted over.

Itachi bobbed his head and then beckoned for Deidara to head over with a hand before turning to get his little brother and Naruto onto a safer part of the platform.

Deidara nodded, even as the raven disappeared, turning around on his post to start bounding for where Sasori was waiting. However, when he got to the rope, there was a brunette kunoichi waiting for him on the opposite post, glaring fiercely at him.

"O-kay~" Deidara said in a weirded out voice, carefully stepping onto the post just in case she tried something funny.

Sasori huffed and took the rope, jabbing the blonde roughly on the head. "That's for making me wait. Now follow after me."

Deidara blew a raspberry as the redhead took off, hesitantly glancing to the side to see the kunoichi still watching him. "Is there something you want?" he asked.

"Revenge," she bluntly replied.

"Huh? What for?" Deidara asked, confused.

"Oi brat! Here it comes!" Sasori yelled and threw the rope at him.

Deidara absently grabbed it, staring at the kunoichi. "I don't remember doing anything wrong…"

"You blew up all my teammates!" the kunoichi angrily said.

"Not really my problem hmm," Deidara unsympathetically said, beginning to give the rope a few experimental tugs. "Sorry. I've got to get going now," he jumped off the post and began to swing towards the platform where Sasori not-so-patiently waited.

"Hey! You just can't leave!" the kunoichi declared.

"Um…watch me." And then Deidara whizzed by, kindly kicking her off her post with his foot as he passed, just because she was starting to annoy him.

"Not so fast!" a kunoichi cried as she tumbled off, giving a grunt of effort before flinging a wave of shuriken up at him.

Deidara swung around on the rope in a circle, successfully preventing further injury to himself and smirking proudly. "What kind of pathetic effort was that hmm?" he called down.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and stop fooling around you moron!" he shouted up at the blonde. "Or I'll drop the rope holding you," he threatened, seeing no response from the wild teen.

Deidara stuck out his tongue. "Yeah, whatever un."

The kunoichi grinded her teeth before forming several hand seals. "Someone like _you _will never beat me. Suiton: Water Blade Jutsu!"

"What the-" Deidara quickly swung himself towards the ledge his new teammates were on, keeping his visible eye trained on the glistening blade formed out of the water below. He made a frustrated noise, slamming up against the edge of the platform where Sasori was waiting.

"Give me your hand," Sasori ordered.

"I'm already on it un," Deidara irritably replied, reaching up with one hand to grab onto the redhead's offered wrist.

Sasori impatiently held out his other arm. "You need to let go of the rope for a second," he said. "I'll pull you up."

Deidara narrowed his eyes before violently swinging to the side, tugging Sasori along the edge with him. The water sword from earlier was where his body had been moments earlier. He 'tched' and looked down at the smirking kunoichi who was using chakra to stand on top the water, dodging the jaws of a shark every once in a while.

Sasori rolled his eyes at the blonde's diverted attention, trying to tug him up. Which was pretty hard considering the fact that the idiot had made himself into dead weight. Extremely _heavy _deadweight. "Let go of the rope and let me pull you up or else I'll drop you for real," he said with a scowl.

"I'm trying," the Iwa nin growled, kicking his legs up in an attempt to get a sturdy grip on the platform's side. It was slicked in water from the few others who had scrambled to the top. "Stupid water un! I can't get up!"

"Are you an idiot!" Sasori harrumphed, pulling backwards. "Use chakra. Chakra!"

Deidara blinked. "Oh. Oh _right_. I forgot about that. Give me a second un."

Unfortunately for him, a second was all that was needed for the kunoichi to send her water blade slicing into the rope Deidara actually forgot that he was holding. He cried out a little as the rope fell off the beam, the only thing holding him up now being Sasori's wrist.

"Surprise!" The kunoichi cheered, clamping her hands together and effectively causing her water blade to explode into millions of little droplets.

All over a certain blonde and redhead.

"!"

In surprise, Sasori released his hold on the blonde's arm.

Deidara's eyes widened, locking with Sasori's only for a brief moment before he started to fall backwards.

The kunoichi grinned. "Now I've got you." She formed a single seal. "Suiton: Dance of a Thousand Water Nymphs!"

Deidara protectively raised his arms in front of him as hundreds of tiny figures burst out of the water below, slicing first into his back, then his side, before twisting his baffled figure over and pounding into his gut with the force of a Legendary Sannin. Preferably one that liked to gamble. Deidara hacked up a wad of blood before feeling himself fading fast into darkness, tumbling into the shark-infested sea.

"Shit!" Sasori crawled forward as fast as he could, leaning over the side to try and see what had happened. Unfortunately he wasn't fast enough, and all he managed to catch a glimpse of was a large splash in the water. Followed by a giant tidal wave from the impact.

"Oh my Kami-!" one of the shinobi stuck in the water shouted. "Swim! Swim for your lives!"

"It's coming!" another one yelled.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" everyone screamed as the wave swallowed them whole.

Sasori stared down into the violently rocking water. "Oops."

Pein looked at him. "That was definitely your fault."

Sasori scowled. "Shut up."

Itachi and Kakuzu turned around. "What's the matter?" Itachi asked.

"Er…" Sasori stood to his feet, brushing himself down. "The chord holding Deidara broke."

Itachi raised a brow. "Was that all?"

"Huh?" Pein and Sasori exchanged a glance.

"Oh let's just hurry up," Itachi carelessly said, already beginning to walk ahead.

"Your teammate just fell into shark-infested waters," Kakuzu pointed out.

Itachi glanced over his shoulder. "And I should care why…?"

The tiny group of three and two kids stared at him. Well, minus the kids. They weren't exactly _awake _at the moment.

"Seriously?" Sasori asked quite seriously.

"Seriously," Itachi said seriously.

"…"

"…"

"Okay!" Sasori suddenly said in a chipper tone. "Let's get going then!"

Kakuzu and Pein exchanged a glance and then shrugged, following after the two in front of them.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Pein informed the raven and redhead.

Itachi casually shrugged. "Don't be so worried. That idiot will be just fine."

"He's probably riding on the back of a giant shark," Sasori scoffed.

* * *

"Wohoo! This is the best ever!" A soaking wet Deidara burst out the water, riding on the back of a shark that was actually quite human. It could even talk!

"Well kiddo," the shark teen said as he swam to the lower platform for the shinobi who had fallen off their posts. "I'll have to drop you off here."

Deidara pouted but got off the teen's back all the same, slipping onto the marble platform before them. He turned and faced the shark with a slight frown, obviously still upset at having his fun time cut down. "Well…I guess this is goodbye hmm. I had fun though. Thanks for catching me un."

The shark teen flashed him a large grin and thumbs up. "No problem," he said, leaning against the platform edge. "Now that'll be 12.50 please," he held out a blue hand.

Deidara stared. "What for?"

"Your ride. These things don't come for free you know."

"B-But I thought we had a connection!" Deidara cried.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the shark waved his hands. "Let's not go that far!"

Deidara harrumphed and folded his arms. "Then what do you want the money for?"

"It's not for me you see," the teen said. "It's for my friend. He has a bit of a money obsession."

The blonde across from him, now crouched so he could speak eye-level with the shark, held a thoughtful finger to his chin. "Money obsession huh? Well you let me know their name- I'll pound them into submission un!"

The teen laughed. "He's way out of your league but whatever." The shark hefted himself a little higher onto the platform, looking around first and then leaning in with a hand in front of his mouth as if he was telling a very big secret.

_Very _big.

"His name…" the shark teen glanced around some more. "His name is…._Kakuzu_."

Deidara jumped back with a dramatic gasp. "_No!" _And then he straightened back up, coughing lightly and brushing down what he could of his pants which were plastered to him like glue. "Hey- I think I know the guy. Does he wear a mask and have these really pretty eyes hmm?"

The shark cocked a brow and grinned. "Well I don't know if you'd call them pretty, more like exotic, but yeah. Yeah he does."

"Then you should come with me un!" Deidara exclaimed, holding a fist out in front of him. "Itachi and I met up with him and these other two creepers- Paint Ball and Saucy or something. Our two little brothers are with us too!" He paused. "Oh yeah. And we had a third teammate, but he chose to go off and help hunt gnomes than finish the test hmm."

The shark tilted his head to the side. "Gnomes?"

"Don't ask," Deidara muttered, a sudden gloomy aura coming off his body.

"R-Right…"

"Anyway you up for it?" Deidara asked, happy once more.

The shark heaved himself onto the platform, clad in only black and silver swimming trunks. "Sure, why not. We got separated on the way to Konoha and I haven't seen them since. It'll be nice to see some familiar faces around here. All the guys falling into the water down here try and stab us with kunai. Ha! Idiots. As if a puny knife could kill our kind. The water people of the sea!" He cleared his throat, calming down considerably. "Anyhow, too much water makes my skin prune. And I need to beat up Kakuzu for suggesting we even do this stupid test."

Deidara twitched just a little. "Alright then un." _This guy's starting to sound like Kakashi. A maniac. _"Let's move out!"

"Hold it, hold on just a minute." The teen turned back towards the open water, bringing two fingers to his mouth in a shrill whistle. Immediately the water pulsated, and the largest flying Frisbee Deidara ever saw came bursting out the water and zooming into the shark teen's hand. It was weird- all covered in bandages with a miniature skull on one end.

"Um…what is _that_?" Deidara hesitantly said, not sure he really wanted to know. Especially because it seemed to be barking in happiness.

The shark grinned. "Oh this? This is my sword Sameheda. My best friend in the whole wide world!"

"Must not be a big world then," Deidara uttered under his breath, marveling at the fact that the Frisbee was actually a weapon of mass destruction.

"Well now we can get going," the teen said. "Lead the way munchkin."

"Whatever hmm." The blonde started to walk away with the shark at his side when a thought occurred to him. He paused and looked at the blue-skinned teen. "Hey un. What exactly is your name?"

The shark grinned, slinging his sword over his back. "Kisame. Hoshigaki Kisame. Pleased to make your aquantance…" He let out a deep chuckle, and then another. All of which soon turned into _slightly _psychotic laughter.

Deidara sweatdropped. "Er- maybe this was a bad idea hmm…" he murmured to himself.

"Hehehe…Kakuzu," Kisame said whilst rubbing his hands together. "I'm coming to get you! Ahahaha- HAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Kakuzu suddenly came to a stop, a chill running up his spine and earning him odd looks from the group he was traveling with.

"What is it?" Pein asked, a dozing Naruto slobbering all down his back.

"I…just got a really foreboding feeling," Kakuzu slowly said.

Sasori harrumphed, crossing his arms. "The only time you get a foreboding feeling is when your money is about to catch on fire. And you have no money. Therefore you're worrying over nothing."

Kakuzu stared at him. "You know, there are reasons why I don't talk to you."

"Shut up."

"You're a lost cause."

The two rolled their eyes at one another and then faced Itachi who had a sleeping Sasuke cuddled in his arms. "Where do we go now?" Kakuzu asked, still getting slight shudders from somewhere beneath them.

"The exit is right up ahead," Itachi pointed to a pair of large wooden doors, each with a brass handle. "Once in there, the Chuunin Exams are over. All we need to do it make it through this corridor." _And Deidara needs to hurry up and get in here. I doubt the little idiot is would die so easily from shark-infested waters. _

Well- atleast he _hoped _that was the case.

And thank Kami the exams were almost over! Maybe then his parents would be back and he could live a normal life!

Itachi snorted to himself and shifted Sasuke in his hold. Somehow he doubted things would ever be normal again.

* * *

**A/N: I wonder...will he parents be back after the next chapter? Somehow...I doubt it too. **

**:D **


	19. Corridor of Death

**A/N: Endorphins...they're a great thing :)**

**Annyyyway- two new chapters for you! This one is really kind of full. And since we all know I can't write fight scenes as good as I want to, please bear through them. I tried to make it non-confusing. Not sure how that worked out though... :D**

**Warning: Violence all the way down to your bellybutton- but not graphic ^v^ Language- more than usual, OOC. Jutsus that I don't think exist, and a good dose of drama. Maybe.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Two pairs of footsteps echoed down a narrow hall, both squelching with the last remnants of water.

"You said that this leads to the main corridor above us?" Deidara asked as they ran.

"That's right," Kisame cheerfully said.

"Then let's hurry up hmm," Deidara said with his visible eye narrowed. "I sense massive danger up ahead."

* * *

"So it begins…" Ibiki thoughtfully watched the occurences happening on his monitor. "Oh well. They should make it easy enough."

"Nyuknyuknyuk! Or so you think!" Shisui cackled by his ear before promptly being punched in the face by the head proctor.

"I thought Anko took you out of here!" Ibiki roared. "ANKO!"

The girl lazily looked over from where she was playing Shogi with Obito. "What do ya want bucko?"

Ibiki barely contained himself from going berserk. "I want you…to get this IDIOT out of my sight!" he pointed to a grinning Shisui.

Anko hung her head back. "_Ugh_. Fine," she huffed, kicking to her feet. "Come on _worm_. I have to escort you out before 'killjoy' over here bursts a vessel."

"Don't speak as if I'm not here!" Ibiki shouted after her. "Respect-"

"-your elders," all those in the room echoed.

Ibiki glared. "I hope you all die," he said with finality before plopping back down in his chair.

Which broke right in half.

Everyone snickered into their hands.

Ibiki, face red, dragged a new chair over and pointedly kept his gaze away from all the lesser shinobi in the room. _This is why I hate kids. _He angrily went back to paying attention to his monitors. "Hmph."

"Want some popcorn?"

"Thanks," Ibiki gruffly said, accepting the bowl before jerking with a mad roar and leaping to his feet. "GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY!"

Shisui burst into mad laughter, dashing away from the livid proctor. "DAMN YOU UCHIHA!"

* * *

Itachi sneezed into his sleeve. "Ow," he said, surprised at the intensity of the sneeze.

Kakuzu looked at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine…"

As Itachi and his temporary teammates stepped into the corridor with the pair of double doors at the far end, a female robot-like voice recording buzzed overhead.

"_You are about to embark on a deadly journey. Fasten your seatbelts- Whoops. Wrong attraction. Sorry for the inconvinience."_

Everyone exchanged WTF? looks.

"_There is only one rule," _the mechanical voice continued. _"And that is to never go back. Beware of the constantly changing floors as they will do as they please. Traps are everywhere- be on the lookout. I wish you luck on this part of the Test." _**"I hope you sausages die!" **_"What are you doing? Give the mic back!" _a totally normal male voice snapped. **"Neeveeerrrr!" **

Itachi and the others blinked as the recording went off, and then stared at one another.

Pein held up a hand, preventing Naruto from falling off his shoulders with his other one. "Anyone else think that was weird? Anyone?"

"Just shut up," Sasori grumbled.

Itachi glanced to and fro the corridor he was in as if searching for a secret passageway. _I still can't sense any of Deidara's chakra… does this corridor block off chakra signatures or something? _He shifted Sasuke in his grasp.

"So we can't go back," Kakuzu murmured, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"I say we sprint until we reach the end," Pein loudly said. "It can't be that hard."

"For once I agree with the kid," Sasori said with a smug smirk.

Itachi nodded. "Okay." He looked around him once more, searching for any sign of an annoying blonde. _Where is he…? _

Sasori and the other two sprinted ahead, only to pause when they noticed Itachi wasn't with them. "What are you doing?" Sasori asked.

"I'm…coming," Itachi managed to get out before being sprayed into the corridor wall by a blast of water directly in his ear. "AAH!" He clutched the side of his head from where he laid, an immediate clogging of his ear taking place and jaw cracking pain along the side of his face. _What is this? It hurts really bad! _

Pein and Kakuzu looked at the raven, about to go back and help.

"No," Sasori held them back by their shirts. "We can't go back, remember?"

Pein scowled and broke free but remained where he was. "Itachi!" he called to the younger teen. "It looks like Swimmer's Ear no Jutsu! I got it last summer in Wave territory!"

_What kind of stupid jutsu is that? And I can't believe I got caught in it! _Itachi started to climb to his feet, a hand held over his painfully throbbing ear. "Crap. I dropped Sasuke somewhere…"

Sasori heard a slight ticking noise and quickly turned his head around to warn Itachi. "Itachi! Duck!"

"What?" Itachi blinked, unable to hear out of his left ear at all.

The next thing he knew, he was being knocked to the ground by a giant blur with a enormous explosion going right by where he used to be standing. There were several pressures on top of him at once. One digging into his stomach quite painfully. _Shit! What about Sasuke! _he inwardly screamed as the intense burst of flames and smoke billowed around him. Wait… Billowed _around _him? It was only then he grew aware of the body shielding his and covering his head. He jerked in surprise, snapping his gaze up. "Deidara?"

Sasori tugged at Kakuzu and Pein. "Let's get moving again," he said, realizing that they'd be fine for the time being.

Deidara unknotted his brows, twisting his head around to give the shark protecting them with a sphere of water a thumbs up. "Way to go Kisame!"

Kisame looked over his shoulder from where he stood and toothily grinned. "No problem kiddo."

Deidara smirked before looking back down at Itachi. "What do you think you're doing? Slacking off like this and getting hit by some lame-ass jutsu hmm… Good thing I came on time."

Itachi felt his eye twitch. "Shut up. At least I didn't get knocked off my pole and beaten half to death by some enraged kunoichi."

"Hmph. Is that any way to thank somebody?" Deidara snorted. "I even got Sasu-kun," he said, moving a bit to show that the weight that had been jabbing into Itachi's stomach was actually his little brother.

Itachi stared at his peacefully dozing sibling and then back into the bright blue eye expectantly watching him. "When did you get here?"

"No time to talk un," Deidara muttered, rolling to his feet before bringing Sasuke with him. He held the tiny Uchiha in one arm and extended his other to Itachi. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah…" Itachi hurriedly pushed to his feet as Kisame dropped his water sphere, the three beginning to sprint to the end of the hall where the other three were waiting.

Several other detonations went off and the trio separated to avoid being struck.

Pein almost tripped, losing his hold on Naruto who went soaring through the air. Luckily, Sasori was there to catch the poor child. Sasori slung him onto his back and then dodged to the side to avoid a volley of flying projectiles.

Kisame used a water jutsu to form a half-shield whenever anything like an explosion or flying projectile got close to hitting him. He noticed Deidara with his foot stuck in a part of the floor that seemed to be melting, sucking the blonde further down. Kisame dashed by, taking the small raven Deidara held up before there was a loud explosion. The shark teen looked over his shoulder in time to see the Iwa nin fly out of the floor from a self-induced explosion and ram sideways into a passing Itachi. There was a collective groan as the two slumped to the ground.

The ground which started to grow spikes.

A slightly dazed Itachi hauled Deidara to his feet before they started to run again, coming close behind the others in front of them.

Up ahead, Sasori skidded to a sudden halt, holding his arms out to clothesline Pein and Kakuzu from going past him. Kisame crashed into the redhead from behind, holding Sasuke above his head and getting a face full of Naruto's dirt-covered back who Sasori had managed to keep a hold of even through the chaos. Itachi tried to control his forward momentum by digging his heels into the ever changing surface of the floor, only to have a full-sprinting Deidara bowl into his shoulder and knock everyone onto the ground. The group collectively crashed as a flash of lightning shot down from the ceiling and cracked where they were laying.

Smoke erupted everywhere.

* * *

Kisame steadied Itachi from where the Uchiha had been slightly wobbling due to the quick and off guard escape from near death. "Take it easy kid."

Itachi looked up at him, noticing that he had Sasuke safely cradled into the nest of one arm. "Thank you- ah…what was your name again?"

"Kisame. Don't forget it now that we're partners," the shark teen happily said.

"Partners?" Itachi turned his head this way and that, noticing that they were in a completely silent corridor with no sight of anyone nearby. The corridor looked sleek and made entirely out of metal. Itachi narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Where's everyone else?" he asked.

Kisame shrugged, using his free hand to clutch at Sameheda's hilt. "No clue. After that lightning bolt there was a really bright flash. After my eyes cleared all I saw was this," he motioned around them.

"What kind of corridor is this?" Itachi murmured. Even if he couldn't see anyone or any change in the enviroment, he could still sense the chakras of everyone he knew surrounding him. "Kisame… we should hurry up and get to the end of this hallway."

"No need to tell me twice," Kisame snorted. "Let's head out!" He started to run, only to find that he couldn't move from the spot he was standing in. A look at Itachi told him they were both in the same predicament as one another. "What is this?"

Itachi didn't answer, Sharingan activated as several shadowy forms appeared out of the ground and encircled them. He pulled out several kunai and summoned a large Fuuma Shuriken with the Uchiha Emblem on it. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was pissed. Because this test sure as HELL wasn't for the rank of Genin or even Chuunin to complete! _Who the hell screwed with the difficulty level on this Exam! _he inwardly screamed.

* * *

"Anko!" Ibiki barked, turning his eyes away from the monitors which showed him the events that were taking place in the corridor.

The teen eating a stick of delicious dango cast him an uninterested look. "What do ya want?"

Ibiki jabbed a finger at the screen behind him. "Who screwed up the difficulty level of the test to S-rank!" he shouted.

Anko pointed beside her. "He did."

Ibiki did a double take when he saw who was sitting next to her, munching on a plastic straw. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN HERE?" he roared. "YOU'VE JUST SENTENCED ALL THOSE IDIOTS IN THE CORRIDOR TO DEATH!"

Shisui mysteriously smiled, pulling the straw out his mouth. "My favorite cousin and his friends are a lot stronger than they appear. I wouldn't underestimate them if I were you Ibiki-sama." His dark eyes flickered to the monitors. "A lesson in trusting others is appropiate for this test, don't you think?"

Ibiki groaned in exasperation and smacked a palm to his forehead as Anko sadistically grinned.

"See? This is why I love kids like him," Anko said, motioning to Shisui with a toothy smirk.

* * *

Deidara snapped his eyes open, gasping for air as he sat up. He was surrounding by a thick fog and the stench of burning soot. He coughed for a few seconds.

"Took you long enough," a voice said from his left. "I was just about to kick you awake."

Deidara jolted in shock. "Sasori?" He peered through the fog and saw the redhead with Naruto safely in his grasp. "What happened? How did we get here?"

"I moved us out of the way before we could get smited by lightning," Sasori muttered.

"Well thank Kami un for fast reflexes," Deidara breathed out, hunched over with his hands on his knees from the effort of trying to stand.

Beside him, Sasori gave him a dry look. "You're the one that knocked us all over the place. I don't even know where anyone else is." He moved Naruto from on his back into his arms, glancing at Deidara as the blonde tried to see through the heavy smoke that had resulted from the powerful lightning strike.

Deidara scoffed in anger before pulling what remained of his clay out of his pouch and starting to furiously mold it with his mouth palm, having lost his hand gloves in the whole water affair down below. Sasori didn't bother to comment. He had seen weirder, living with Kakuzu and Pein and all.

"Okay un," Deidara spoke up, now fully standing and holding up a fairly large owl. One the size of his torso. "Sasori un, you've got a firm hold on Naru-chan right?"

"Tight as ever," Sasori told him with a brow raised.

"Good." Deidara smirked and formed a seal. "Run straight and don't look back. I'll catch up to you in a second."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "As if you have the authority to be giving out commands." He turned towards the direction he presumed to be straight, using his chakra to sense his surroundings. His eyes widened briefly before narrowing. He stared in silence and then snorted under his breath. "Take care of yourself you stupid brat. Meet me at the end."

"But of course," Deidara snarkily replied. He waited until Sasori vanished from sight to throw his large owl up into the air and let it hover there as he cast furtive glances around. "Alright. Show yourself… whoever's there. I'll take you on!"

Out of the thick smoke stepped a giant contraption, one that seemed to break the limits of the ceiling in the corridor.

Deidara couldn't help but stare. _Now what the HELL is that?_

It blinked it's mechanical eyes before holding up a bulky metal arm, equipped with a deadly looking chainsaw. It made some sort of threatening grunting noise followed by a puff of dark fume-filled air.

Deidara took in a deep breath before holding it to avoid breathing in the potentially poisonous smoke as he took a step to his right. _Alright you giant monster. I can take anything you dish out! _He lightly rolled out of the way as a chord from the mechanical creature shot out of its neck, creating a dent in the now metal floor. He flipped back onto his feet and dodged consecutive swipes from the chainsaw arm, quickly sidestepping to avoid a lash of the chord. It puffed out a burst of black smoke, thicker than the first time. Deidara smirked and shut his eyes to stop the smoke from burning his sockets, knowing that he was able to hold his breath for a good three minutes. And that was all the time he needed.

Unfortunately, he seemed to forget the fact that the floor could change textures whenever it wanted to, and the very important fact that his eyes were closed and he couldn't maneuver his way through a straight hallway, even with the lights on.

The floor changed to an icy surface, causing the blonde to slip.

"Fuck!" Deidara screamed without really meaning to as he hit the ground, unable to concentrate long enough to send chakra to his feet to stand up. And he had been stupid enough to let the smoke get into his mouth- hence the reason he was currently sprawled on the ground hacking for air.

The mechanical being stiffly moved before lifting its other arm free of a weapon faster than the blonde bomber could detect, smashing him into the wall and cutting off his air supply even more as it pinned him there. Deidara kicked his legs out in an attempt to get free, trying to remove the claw off of his windpipe before it was crushed from the sheer force of the creature. The mechanical being held up the arm with the chainsaw, the gears of a painful death gleefully running through its mind. Deidara cringed. _Ah…shit…_

* * *

Itachi fireballed straight down a row of shadowy figures that appeared to be coming from an endless underground army. They vanished with a satisfying 'pop', leaving the thirteen year old raven to throw several kunai over his shoulder- destroying a group of shadows that had been approaching Kisame from behind.

"Heh. Can your eyes see everything?" Kisame teased, easily and quite carelessly swinging his sword around as if he was strolling through a bunny-filled park.

"_No_," Itachi said in an irritated tone. It was irking him that he could hear the voices of everyone on his temporary team around him, but couldn't see them. Of course it could have just been his imagination… But he wasn't much of a daydreamer.

Kisame gave a good-humored laugh, holding Sasuke tighter to his side. "I like your attitude. And from what I can tell, you've noticed something off about this entire thing. Figure it out yet?"

Itachi withheld a sigh. "If I did, we wouldn't still be here Kisame. I don't know what it is either…but there is definitely something wrong with all of this…" _I have a nagging feeling I need to find out what it is soon. Before a catastrophe strikes… _

* * *

Sasori came to a halt as a shiver ran up his spine, pivoting on his heel and heading back in the direction he had just come from. "Screw what that brat says. No way he can take on that monstrosity by himself!" He glanced down at the slumbering Naruto. _Shit. These kids can sleep through anything… I hope everyone else is okay._

* * *

Pein skipped down their perfectly safe corridor, humming loud and off-key.

Kakuzu threw his head back with a look of disgust and sweatdrop. "Of all the people to get stuck with…"

Pein wasn't looking where he was skipping, until he bashed his head into the chest of an abnormally tall male, cloaked in all black with red lining. His eyes were shadowed from the lack of light, and there was a sword in his gloved hand. Pein got to his feet a little slowly, admiring the cloak. "…Those are some nice colors. Maybe I should think about getting Club Akatsuki something like that…"

Kakuzu came to a stop, brows raising at the female figure that had materialized beside him, identical sword in hand. "Um, Pein…"

Pein got up on his tip-toes to the leering male figure in front of him. "Excuse me- where did you get that stunning outfit from?"

The figure drew back its fist before smashing the orange-haired teen in the head with the butt of his sword.

Kakuzu heaved a sigh. "Baka…" He lazily lashed out at the figure next to him.

The female disappeared, reappearing beside her equally tall partner. They gave sneering smirks.

Pein gave out a noise of frustration before getting to his feet with a hand held over the bleeding gash in his forehead.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and looked off to the side. "Great. Whoever did that is in for a whole load of crap."

Pein snapped his ringed eyes open, forming extremely fast seals. "You're definitely going to pay for that," he growled to the two smirking figures in front of him. "Ninja Art: Ultimate Flame Typhoon!"

The smirking figures were soon consumed in a massive wave of heat and flames but made no move to dodge.

Pein glared as the flames died away and the figures were still standing there with their ever present smirks. Kakuzu stepped up beside him. "Shall we fight?" the older man asked. "For old times sake?"

"Absolutely!" Pein threw a fist into the air as several bunshin came out of his body. "Ninja Art: The Element Forefather's Strike!" he and his clones shouted.

Kakuzu shot out with his threads, holding the figures in place and slamming them up against each other as a ferocious flurry of the four main elements were summoned within the tiny corridor. Kakuzu gave a lopsided smirk beneath his mask. "You two…are as good as dead," he murmured.

Pein directed the four elements with two fingers, bringing them down upon their attacks in one giant swoop. He and Kakuzu were nearly knocked off their feet by the force of the combustion. "Hold tight! Kakuzu!"

"I know that!" Kakuzu yelled back. "Think you got another jutsu up your sleeve?"

Pein gave a short nod of his head. "Hell yeah!"

* * *

Deidara smirked as the mechanical being proceeded to disengage the body parts of his clay clone, circling quietly behind the back of the creature. He drew a kunai from his holster, expertly twirling it on a finger before stabbing it into the back of the mechanical contraption. He continued to hold his breath as an obnoxiously large plume of fumes exploded out the body of the creature and surrounded him.

The mechanical being paused in its actions before going limp, its head hanging.

_Now to get rid of the garbage and all this annoying smoke hmm… _Deidara moved his arm, his clay owl diving down to rest on the shoulder of the metal creature. _Katsu! _

Nothing happened.

"What?" This time Deidara really did choke as he inhaled the fumes, partially in shock. He fell to his knees, grasping at his neck. "Ah- Ah-" An intense burning sensation was spreading down his throat and throughout his body, giving the feeling of one dragging their sharpened nails across his insides and digging deep through his gut and out his bellybutton. Deidara collapsed on his side, clawing at himself as agonized screams began tearing out of his mouth. He tried to stand, only to have the machine whirl its body around and begin to light up around the eyes.

Sasori tackled the blonde to the ground as a large laser shout out of the creature's head, trying to quiet Deidara's screams with his hand. He had made a clone, sending it off with Naruto before he dived into the fray of smoke where the Iwa nin and mechanical being were. "Oh my God- for Kami's sake shut up!" he frantically hissed. _This machine is sensitive to only sound and touch. Deidara you need to shut up since it can't see us in this smoke! _

If anything, his smothering hand only served in making Deidara louder.

Sasori hung his head, deadpanning. "Crap." He searched inside his pants pocket quickly, pulling out a syringe and injecting it into the blonde without another second wasting. _Good thing I walk around with these. _

* * *

Itachi flung his Shuriken around them in a giant arc, wiping out the shadows, only for them to reappear. His attention was diverted at the sound of painful screams coming from _directly _beside his ear. He hurriedly glanced here and there, seeing only Kisame who was doing nothing more than destroying the shadows with both his sword and one-handed water jutsus. _Those screams… Deidara? Where is he? I can hear him clear as- _His Sharingan-activated eyes widened in realization. "I'm so stupid!" He hit himself in the head before forming a complicated series of seals.

Kisame looked at him. "Itachi? What are you doing? What's wrong?"

"Kisame!" Itachi barked out urgently. "Hurry up and form the seal of release!"

"What for-?"

"Just do it!" Itachi focused his chakra into one big ring around them. "Sasori! Deidara! Pein! Kakuzu! I know you can hear me- you need to make the seal of release!"

* * *

Pein and Kakuzu's blinked in surprise and glanced at each other. "Itachi's voice…?" they murmured in question.

"But I was just going to unleash my super powerful attack," Pein mumbled.

"Oh well. Better do what the big honcho says," Kakuzu grouched.

They formed the seal of release, an immediate ring of chakra pulsating out.

The figures before them vanished.

* * *

"Two more…" Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Sasori! Deidara!"

* * *

Sasori whipped his head up, being very close to the source of the Uchiha's voice. "Seal of release…?" He cradled the now unconscious blonde bomber to his chest before rolling out of the way of the metal foot of the mechanical monstrosity they had been stuck dealing with. "Okay, okay," he formed the seal of release and then tried to get Deidara's limp fingers to form the seal as well. Which wasn't really working out well. "This isn't working at all…" he uttered in slight frustration. He dodged another blow, moving them both up against the corridor wall.

Which tried to spike them.

"Bad idea," Sasori said, bringing them to a crouching position a few feet away from the mechanical being. "I guess I have no choice. Damn this stupid brat!" He seized the blonde's fingers in his own, creating a double seal with their two hands. "You better know what you're doing Itachi! Seal of release!"

* * *

"Got them!" Itachi finished his string of complex seals, ending with the seal of the Snake. "Dark Ninja Arts: Gathered Genjutsu Spell of Release!"

Almost immediately a large wave of dark chakra gathered from everyone's body swept out over the corridors they were in, causing the biggest explosion they had ever seen and one that would rightfully put Deidara's to shame if he were conscious to see it. They all hit the deck as the massive heat wave washed over them, covering their heads with their hands.

* * *

Ibiki stared at the monitor. "Er- how did he learn that kind of dispelling jutsu against an X-rank genjutsu that's fifty times more powerful than the S-rank ocular jutsu his eyes are capable of?"

Shisui shrugged as if he had not just witnessed such a powerful attack. "When you're an Uchiha, anything is possible. _Especially _with the Sharingan. And when my own super awesome eye powers kick in, I'm going to take over the world."

Ibiki face-palmed. "I don't know why I bother asking you these things…"

* * *

Kisame sweatdropped and caught the raven as he swooned. "What kind of warped jutsu is that?" They were now in the original corridor they had started out in, free of all traps.

Itachi didn't answer, hair halfway out its ponytail and all splayed across his face as he dozed.

Kisame smiled a bit and slung Itachi over his shoulder, wincing when the Uchiha's head made contact with Sameheda's handle. "Whoops…"

"Kisame!" Pein whizzed over in an orange blur, followed by a more controlled Kakuzu who was merely sighing in exasperation at the hyper-active teen.

Kisame pointed an offending finger at the masked nin. "I finally caught back up with you!" he yelled as Pein latched onto his leg.

Kakuzu heaved a heavy sigh. "Geez. Here we go…"

Kisame glared. "Why I oughta-"

"_Gosh_. This is why I hate teens," Kakuzu grumbled.

"You hate anyone younger than you," a sardonic voice commented from behind Kisame.

They all turned around to see a slightly miffed Sasori supporting a deadweight Deidara by the waist.

"Whoa," Pein said with wide eyes. "What happened to you two?"

"Oh nothing much," Sasori nonchalantly said. "We only nearly got ripped to shreds by some giant piece of machinery and- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAPPENED!" he roared at the grinning teen with a popped vein.

Pein shrugged noncommittally. "I dunno…"

"I'm going to kill you…" Sasori snarled as his clone walked up beside him and unceremoniously dumped Naruto to the floor.

"Alright, alright guys." Kisame's voice stopped a fight from breaking out. Such was the power of the people of the sea… "Look- the end of this damned corridor is right where we've been standing all along."

All eyes moved to the side to find that indeed, the pair of double doors they had been so desperately trying to reach- was in front of them all along.

Sasori dropped Deidara to run his hands through his short hair. "Argh! This is why I hate genjutsu so much!"

"There, there," Kakuzu tried to consol him, patting him on the shoulder.

Kisame inwardly rolled his eyes, leaning Itachi against the corridor wall in a sitting position. The raven's head lolled down. He then dragged Deidara over next to him, almost having a panic attack when the blonde's head cracked to the side. "What the-! You know what…I'm just gonna leave it like that…" He placed his hands on his hips and let out a sigh of relief. "Phew! That was _some _workout, I gotta tell you. It's not like my hip workout at home but it'll have to do. Itachi didn't do that bad of a job in the end."

"Hmph. They're younger than us but have a lot more strength," Sasori gruffly admitted, standing next to the shark teen.

"Maybe," Kisame agreed. "But I have more chakra."

Pein and Kakuzu wandered onto his other side.

"I know that our goals may have been different in coming here," Pein softly said. "But in the end I think a valuable lesson has been learned."

"I'm actually kind of glad we took these Exams," Kakuzu muttered. "I hope these guys are too."

The group of four blinked and then shared a glance, an awkward wind blowing overhead.

"Whhyyy do I get the feeling that we should be giving this speech to a pair of girls five years from now who just punched each others lights out?" Pein asked as he scratched the back of his head.

The other three shrugged before sighing in exhaustion and slinking down beside the two youngest teens.

"Well whatever the case," Kisame said, "let's rest a bit and regain our chakra before moving on…"

"Amen…" Sasori muttered.

And they all had a brief minute of rest.

* * *

Itachi inwardly groaned, feeling someone _sitting _on his stomach. He reluctantly cracked an eye open, and was met face-to-face with a startlingly blue eye. He let out a very undignified shriek before pushing the figure off of him and clutching one hand over his heart. "Holy crap! Don't do that!" he shouted at the snickering blonde.

Deidara quit laughing behind his hand for one moment to look the Uchiha up and down. "How ya feeling? As bad as you look?" he taunted.

Itachi raised his hands to his head, abruptly feeling the disarray that was his hair before promptly beginning to fix it back into its standard ponytail. "Where are we?"

Deidara jabbed a thumb behind him. "Right at the end of the corridor."

Itachi slowly blinked at the pair of metal double doors.

"Apparently we were caught in a double S-rank genjutsu that you broke us out of with your X-rank Sharingan and dispelling ability," Deidara informed him, noticing his confusion. "None of us realized it until you told the others to form the seal of release."

"None of the others?" Itachi quirked a brow. "Where were you?"

Deidara gave a bashful shrug. "Unconscious from being overly cocky and stuck in a genjutsu…?"

Itachi softly snorted. "Figures." He analyzed the sheepish blonde before looking around and noticing for the first time that there were others around him. "Oh- hey there."

"You're finally noticing us and that's all you have to say!" Kakuzu spazzed with a popped blood vessel.

"My bad," Itachi said in a very non-apologetic voice. "Naruto? Sasuke?"

"As dead to the world as ever," Kisame joked from where he was sitting against the wall with the two mentioned kids in his lap. They were totally zoned far out of the loop.

Pein waved a hand in front of Itachi's face, grinning and moving back as the Uchiha's attention snapped to him. "That was a really impressive jutsu Itachi," he said. "You'll make a fine addition to my Club…"

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Itachi suspiciously eyed him but said nothing else to the teen, instead opting to get to his feet. "How long was I out for?"

"Five minutes hmm…" Deidara absently said, also standing to his feet. "It wasn't that long. After all, we have to make sure we pass this stupid Exam, right?"

Itachi cast him an odd look. "You feeling alright?"

Deidara weakly chucked and ran a hand through his fringe. "Perfectly fine un. That was just one _wild _genjutsu…"

"I bear witness to that," Sasori harrumphed.

Deidara flushed from his ears to his toes at being so embarrassingly exposed. In a _genjutsu _of all things. "S-Shut up un!"

Sasori pretended to look offended. "No thanks for your rescuer?"

"You stabbed me with a needle!" the blonde hissed.

"Only to shut that gaping hole in your face," Sasori smirked, throwing back his head.

"Why you-" Deidara prepared to lunge, only to be pulled back by Itachi.

"I thought you said you wanted to finish this test?" Itachi said to him. He had no idea what they were talking about, but suddenly didn't care. He released the blonde and then faced the others a part of their mis-matched team. "The door is right next to us. Let's enter and put an end to this once and for all."

Kisame hefted to his feet, holding Naruto and Sasuke firmly within his arms. "I second that notion wholeheartedly. I also think we should kill Kakuzu."

Kakuzu violently twitched before shuddering and moving out of the shark teen's hitting range.

"Let's not," Itachi dryly said.

Kisame frowned, Kakuzu letting out a breath of relief.

"We can do it _after _the Exam is over," Itachi added.

Kakuzu felt a vein burst. "What! No!"

Kisame cheered, pulling the Uchiha into an awkward half-hug because his arms were full of children.

And with that, the group walked forward, entering the doors that would finally lead to the end of their traumatizing and life learning experiences in the Exams.

* * *

**A/N: I can only hope it wasn't a total trainwreck ^v6 **

**As for the Dark Ninja Arts: Gathered Genjutsu Spell of Release... Yeah... That doesn't exist. But if there was a double S jutsu, that would definitely be it. As for Pein- Well he's Pein. He does what he wants :D**


	20. Giving Chase

**A/N: Second part and far shorter :P**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, definite OOC...**

**^v^**

* * *

When they entered through the doors, the first and only thing they saw was Ibiki standing in the center of the small enclosed space, hands behind his back in a very professional manner. He bore holes into their heads as they walked and gathered around him in a semi-circle, not really sure what else they were supposed to be doing. Then they noticed Anko and the other proctors standing nearby; Kakashi's team and Shisui off to the other side.

Itachi felt his fist clench at the sight of his cousin. _That baka…running off like that! _He waved at Ibiki. "Hey- could we get some stretchers or something for my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka?"

Ibiki turned to him with a fist raised. "Where are your manners?"

Those who had just entered raised their guard up to another level. After all, they could be attacked right here and now. This test was truly unpredictable.

What they didn't expect was a balloon to pop overhead, and a mass amount of confetti to rain down from above, followed by streamers and pop music.

Sasori's eye twitched. "What…the hell is this?"

"What does it look like? It's a party!" Shisui hoorayed, popping out of nowhere with several sticks of explosive pocky in his hand.

Ibiki noticed almost immediately and spazzed, trying to catch the Uchiha in a flying tackle. "Give that back right now!"

Obito and Rin were trying to contain their rabid friend from going stir-fry crazy.

"What's gotten into you Kakashi?" Obito asked in an annoyed tone as they tried to get him off the ceiling.

"I did it! I've become a Chuunin!" Kakashi cried.

Rin rolled her eyes. "You were already an Anbu-"

"Lies! All lies!"

Itachi and Deidara watched the chaos commence with their brows quirking.

Deidara grabbed Ibiki by the back of his cloak sleeve before he could zoom by, dryly raising a brow. "Aren't you going to give a speech or something un? You know, _before _things get even more out of hand hmm."

Ibiki released Shisui's collar, contemplating the suggestion. "I guess you're right." He stepped back and clapped his hands together. "SONIC CLAP NO JUTSU!"

Immediately all noise ceased, partially because half of them went deaf.

"Was that necessary you old man?" Deidara shouted at the head proctor.

"What?" Ibiki shouted back at him.

"What kind of idiot are you! You made yourself deaf too!" Deidara yelled with his hands over his ears.

Itachi brought his eyes to the ceiling before smacking the blonde across the back of the head. "Let it go."

"WHAT?" Deidara screamed in his face.

Itachi drop-kicked him with a popped vein. "I said to let it go you moron!"

The effects of the jutsu wore off several minutes later, and by then Ibiki had the full attention of everyone in the entire room. They didn't want to have to go through such an ear-popping jutsu again.

"Um…isn't the Hokage supposed to be here or something?" Itachi asked, looking around after the silence had stretched for too long.

Ibiki turned his head away with a dark cloud of gloom hanging overhead. "He…had other matters to attend to."

* * *

-With the Hokage-

* * *

"Scrub-a-dub-dub- me in my tub," Hiruzen sang in his tiny bathtub, using his giant rubber duck to torpedo a battleship. "Die! Yeah that's right! Fear the duck!"

* * *

-Back to Ibiki-

* * *

Ibiki scratched the side of his cheek. "Yeah, something like that."

Itachi deadpanned, his face dropping. "I'm sorry I even asked."

Ibiki coughed into his closed hand. "Anyway. Back to the matter at hand. You've all braved against the odds and have successfully destroyed- I mean, prevented the other shinobi teams from beating you to this spot. A spot where only four teams can pass." Ibiki looked down with a deep hum coming from the back of his throat. "Hmm… so I guess the only thing left to say now…is CONGRATULATIONS! You have earned the right to be called Chuunin- take pride in this rank, it's no laughing matter."

The group of teens stared back at him very seriously.

"And with that- I now announce the official close of the Chuunin Exams!" Ibiki declared, sweeping an arm over the tiny room.

A small round of cheers erupted from the more excitable of the misfit group.

"Wow! We really passed un!" Deidara cheered.

Nevermind the fact that every single person that had passed was already of a rank of Chuunin and above.

Itachi ignored Deidara who went to talk to Anko and her gnome hunting crew, instead turning to stare at his older cousin who grinned down at him. "Shisui," he greeted.

Shisui munched on the only thing Ibiki would give him. A piece of bark. "Favorite cousin. How's it going?"

Itachi ducked his head. "Oh everything's swell…" He kicked the Uchiha in the face with his foot. "YOU BAKA! YOU ABANDON US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXAM AND HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK THAT!"

Shisui cried out from where he was being beat up. "But my favorite cousin! It was all out of love!"

"Outta love my ass!"

Meanwhile, Deidara had walked over to where Sasori and Kakuzu stood, a bouncing Pein and grinning Kisame by their side. The Iwa nin looked the group up and down before offering a hand and a genuine smile. "I had a lot of fun during this test, and you guys were a part of that un. Thanks for everything, even if you are an old man in disguise who likes poking people with needles."

Sasori took the hand with his own pale one, smirking at the blonde. "I could say the same for you and your group of misfits. I think I'll definitely _not _miss you and your rambunctious screeches of pain and bratty attitude. Who knows- maybe we'll meet again sometime."

Deidara beamed and tilted his head as Itachi joined on the other side of him.

Itachi slung an arm around Deidara's shoulder, not being able to help the contagious grins being spread in the small area. And the extra beating of his cousin was a great bonus! He gazed at Kakuzu and the others. "Thank you for being the ones to find my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka. I _am _glad we met."

Deidara blinked in surprise and playfully pushed at the raven. "Since when are _you _so nice?"

Itachi rolled his dark eyes, nudging him back. "I've always been like this. Deep, _deep _down inside."

"Oh Kami un. Did you just make a joke?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Itachi smirked.

Sasori looked at the two teammates joking around with one another before smugly smiling. _Looks like this experience wasn't only a test of skill… _"So," he spoke up. "What are you going to do about your siblings?"

Itachi paused, looking at Naruto and Sasuke peacefully resting on the stretchers Ibiki had reluctantly supplied. His gaze went from their innocent faces, to the once-in-a-lifetime honest expression of Deidara. Itachi brought his gaze to the cracked ceiling and sighed heavily. "I guess…" he glanced at the expectant faces of those around him. "I'll just have to take my stupid brothers home and make sure we don't ever do something as idiotic as this again."

Deidara broke out into a shit-eating grin, tackling the oldest Uchiha in a giant hug. "I knew you cared!" he cried out.

Itachi punched him in the face. "Don't get carried away!" he roared at the now glaring blonde.

"Yeah well- you're still a fat ole' ogre!"

"Nani?"

Deidara pulled down the eyelid of his visible eye and blew a raspberry. "Bleh!"

Itachi lunged forward, crushing him into the floor by jumping on the blonde's gut before proceeding to tug at the corners of Deidara's mouth with his fingers. "Come again? I dare you to say that to my face you fat little monster-"

"Hands off _Itachi_-"

"I don't think so Dei-da-ra-"

Pein hummed thoughtfully at the scene and then turned away, motioning for Kakuzu, Kisame, and Sasori to follow him as he walked towards the door that would lead them to the exit of the Exam, and in turn, the exit to Konohagakure. "Come along," he said. "Our job here is done. I've already got the signed papers saying that they are going to join in several years time. Besides, we have to find a new tree house to make our hideout. We forgot to pay the bills before we left so the local neighbors chopped it down."

"Oh so now he chooses to act mature," Kakuzu grumbled under his breath.

"A few years time?" Sasori questioned. "Did the brat even know what he was signing?"

"Of course not!" Pein chirped. "I made sure of that. Oh well. I'm sure they'll both come to love our small but growing family. Club Akatsuki!" He brightly grinned, temporarily blinding all those in his path.

Once again.

"Dammit Pein!" Sasori screamed, punting the teen through several trees. "How many times have I told you not to do that!"

And so the group of four already belonging to the Akatsuki headed off and out the village, back to their own paths away from Itachi and Deidara's until they were to meet again. Which wouldn't be any time soon.

Or maybe it would be sooner than either of them thought.

* * *

"…Itachi?"

"What is it?"

"What do you think will happen now un?"

"Now?" Itachi cast the blonde a glance and then turned his attention back to the familiar dirt roads of Konoha they were walking through. He carried a softly breathing Sasuke on his back while Deidara had slung Naruto over his. The village was filled with the remaining foreign shinobi packing up to leave to go back to their own villages now that the Exam was over; the regular villagers of Konoha merrily tending to their shops or children. In the background the sun was setting, casting a heavenly hue of orange and red across the cloud-splattered sky. Itachi appreciatively stared up into the air with a strange sense of peace echoing through him. Was that it? Had he found a sense of peace he had been missing within himself during the time his parents were gone? _Oh my Kami-sama. It's turned me into a pile of sentimental mush._

Deidara inquisitively cocked his head, peering at Itachi for some semblance of an answer. "Itachi un?"

"Hm? What?" Itachi broke out of his trance, not having realized he stopped walking. He looked at the baffled Iwa nin by his side, eyes suddenly narrowing. "Deidara. How long do you plan on staying here?"

Deidara blinked as if the thought had never occurred to him. "How long…?" His gaze swept over the expanse of the Konohagakure village. He sadly smiled. "I'd like to stay forever…"

Itachi stared at him and then looked away with a smirk, stifling a snicker.

Deidara shook his head wildly before flushing in embarrassment and anger and attempting to kick the raven in his shin. "What's so funny? I was just answering your question!" he furiously said.

"Nothing, it's just-" Itachi cut himself off again to laugh.

"_Itachi_! You bastard hmm!" Deidara raged, turning on his heel to stomp off. Preferably back to the Uchiha's room where he could blow it into smithereens.

Itachi quickly pulled him back by his elbow before the blonde could go psycho. "Take it easy. I was just wondering…that if you want to stay here so badly…" At this, Itachi began to turn red, just because something like this was so un-proportional. And especially because his parents would have no say in it… And he would most likely regret it after a day or two. The raven coughed to clear his thoughts. "If you want to stay here so badly," he said to Deidara who was gazing at him with something akin to suspicion. "Then you can stay here with Sasuke and I."

Deidara's eye grew very large. "What?"

"Of course Naruto will have no choice but to stay as well," Itachi muttered more to himself. "Since he's an orphan…and I've grown hopelessly and disgustingly attached to the blonde moron during these past few weeks…" He trailed off at a frantic tug at his arm, startled as he looked at the desperate expression on Deidara's face. "What…what is it?"

"Please tell me you aren't lying un," Deidara asked with wide begging eyes, clasping on his arm like a lifeline.

Itachi pulled his arm away and scoffed. "Why would I lie about something like that? Do you think I actually don't own a heart?"

Deidara opened his mouth. "Well-"

"Nevermind," Itachi cut him off. "Don't answer that. Come on," he said, beginning to walk away. "Let's head home.

Deidara remained still, watching the Uchiha's retreating back. "W-Wait!"

Itachi stopped, his back facing the Iwa nin and eyes shadowed under the heavy glow of sunset.

Deidara turned to face him fully, throwing his arms out to the side in bafflement, nearly dropping Naruto in the process. "You can't just say something like that and expect me to go along! Damn it Itachi un! Why would you even offer a thing like that? You don't even have approval of your parents or anyone else in the Clan and yet you're going to go around and act as if you're the head boss hmm? That's ridiculous! Joking about something like that! After all the trouble I've caused you- even if it was fun- you shouldn't want to house a person like me-!"

Itachi turned his head over his shoulder, eyes flashing. "Are you done?" he interrupted.

Deidara looked taken aback and lowered his arms, still in slight shock. "I…" he put a palm to his forehead. "I suddenly feel tired," he grumbled.

Itachi shifted to stare at the blonde completely, his eyes still narrowed. "If you continue to work yourself up over nothing, of course you're going to feel worn out."

Deidara looked at him from under his tanned fingers. "Itachi?"

"Look. It isn't as if you haven't caused me needless grief and pain," Itachi told him, planting a hand on his hip. "But I can't lie and say that I didn't have fun too. All the Uchihas like you a lot, and so does the Hokage- although that's mostly due to your goddamn manipulative manner. And I'm sure they would all blame me for your sudden disappearance. No one's going to care if you want to become a part of the family. I think everyone would just like it anyway." The thirteen year old raven walked forward as he spoke, approaching the blonde who was slowly taking steps backwards. "The one thing I've noticed about you is that you're always running. Always, always running away from anything that'll cause you or anyone else future problems. I noticed that with all that time I was stuck spending with you."

The Iwa nin stiffened and stopped moving back, feeling slightly challenged not to stray away. "I do _not_."

Itachi felt a wry smile spread across his face as he stood in front of the somehow smaller-looking bomber. "You were planning on leaving after the Chuunin Exams, weren't you? That's why you wanted us to participate. You thought it'd be the last time you got to hang out with Shisui and I. With Naruto, Sasuke, and everyone else. You didn't go to the Exams looking for fun and just new people. You were looking for others to latch onto- to go travel around with after you left Konohagakure. Am I right?"

Deidara had stopped moving altogether. In fact, Itachi wasn't actually sure if he was breathing. "You…You're wrong," Deidara quietly said. "I was just going to leave…so that I wouldn't be that big of a burden." He looked up and tried to smile. "What can I say? I'm the kind of guy who likes to travel!"

Itachi took one look at the false bravado and promptly smacked it off.

"Ah-!" Deidara held his throbbing cheek with a hand.

Itachi eyed him. "You're always acting Deidara. You don't need to anymore." He placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder who jumped in surprise. "My parents don't care about another few persons in the house. They've always wanted more kids- but never had the time…"

"Whoa- too much information," Deidara said with a slight smile, eye brimming with unshed tears because dammit! Itachi's slap hurt like a bitch! _That bastard un! Daring to hit me! …But… _He gazed at the Uchiha in front of him with just a _tad _bit of awe and gratitude. "I've never had a place to stay. But…Konohagakure feels more like home than anything else un."

"And that's all I needed to hear," Itachi confirmed with a grin, drawing back. "So it's decided. You'll stay here until I see it fit to kick you out."

Deidara's jaw dropped. "Wha- hey! You can't do that hmm!"

"Yes. Yes I can." Itachi pivoted on his heel. "We'll have to get confirmation papers from the Hokage, inducing you into our clan. But it shouldn't be a problem, seeing as he likes you so much." The last part may have come out just a _bit_ jealous.

Deidara noticed and smirked. "Don't worry Uchiha-kun. I'll make sure you get back into Hiruzen's good graces again."

"Really now?" Itachi sarcastically eyed him.

"Nope! There's something you'll have to do on your own un," Deidara laughed.

Itachi stared at the mirthfully chuckling blonde with the hint of a smile. The ride up to this point had been wild- almost broke him to the point of insanity. But he couldn't have found his inner psychotic self without the help of those around him. No matter how deranged they were. Perhaps he'd learn to look at things differently around him a little bit more. "If everything could stay just like this, even if for a bit longer," Itachi murmured up at the sky once more. "Then I don't think I'd mind at all."

Deidara gave an unseen smile before harrumphing and whacking the raven over the back of his head. "Ba-ka~ Could you be anymore grossly sentimental?" he teased.

Itachi felt his eyes turn red into Sharingan. "Deidara…" he growled.

Deidara laughed loudly before booking it down the road, Itachi tightening his hold on Sasuke's short legs and then giving chase to the cackling Iwa nin.

With the knowledge of having two more members added to the Uchiha Clan.

Iwa Deidara and Uzumaki Naruto.

Somehow, things in the near-future didn't look to be so bad.

Itachi tripped over a loose pebble in the road, crashing into a stand full of fresh vegetables and causing Sasuke to tumble down with him.

Or not.

Deidara snickered, coming back just to pay the distressed woman over her lost food.

Itachi stood to his feet, huffily checking over Sasuke for any injuries. He eyed Deidara with grudging respect. "I guess you're not so bad after all. At least you paid."

Deidara cockily smirked, shifting Naruto on his back. "Of course I did hmm. It was _your _wallet."

Itachi paused, a vein bursting. "NANI!"

Some things, would never change.

And Itachi gave chase once again.

* * *

**A/N: Too much corn... Oh well :D I liked cooking it anyway! **

**I really do have to thank all of you guys for reviewing/ reading. While it was fun typing it up and having wild fantasies (adventure ones people), it was even funner knowing other people enjoyed it too :D**

**I don't know if this is the end of the story- there's a good chance it is. Buuutttt, I am writing oneshots with these guys already. If you want a Sequel let me know- otherwise drop a hint if I should just continue the story from here. **

**Thanks for everything. It was _one _wiiilllllld ride ;D**


	21. Moving On

Itachi looked up from his game of Candyland with Naruto as his front door opened. Deidara and a dopey Sasuke trapeized in a few seconds later with groceries, the latter giggling as if he had just seen a unicorn with a leprechaun on its back throwing goody bags to all the little children of the world.

Yeah. Itachi sometimes wondered what he was thinking too.

Naruto jumped to his feet, rushing over to greet the two. "Deidara-nii! Sasuke! You're back!"

Itachi felt a brow twitch. "Oi…" he growled. "Untie me you little brat!"

Naruto turned around and stuck his tongue out.

The twitching increased. "You punk…"

Deidara laughed and handed his bags full of food to Naruto. "Take those to the kitchen un; Itachi and I will put them away later- okay?"

Naruto obediently bobbed his head before he and his best friend exchanged childish laughs and dashed off to the kitchen.

Deidara chuckled into his gloved hand and painstakingly walked as slow as possible over to where Itachi sat tied from the shoulders down in a thick brown rope. The oldest Uchiha had no idea Naruto knew how to tie so skillfully…

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up you idiot. I've had to use the bathroom for the past five hours and I'm about to explode."

"Oh ew and ow dude," Deidara practically ran over after hearing that. He fiddled with the back of the rope until he realized he couldn't untie it. "Wow. Naru-chan is _good _at tying ropes…"

"Just hurry up!" Itachi hissed between his teeth.

"I'm trying- oh screw this!" Deidara pulled out a kunai, slicing through the ropes instead.

"Finally!" Itachi leaped up, starting to head for the bathroom but changing his mind the last second to punch the bomber in the face. "That's for taking so long."

Deidara held the swelling cheek. "Dang it hmm! That hurt you stupid bastard!" he shouted, trying to kick the fleeing raven.

Itachi smirked before teleporting away.

The Chuunin Exams had ended over a week ago, and it had already come around to being the eighth week since his parents left. Naruto had an official spot in Sasuke's room and Itachi even bought a spare futon into his own room for Deidara. But _only_ because the blonde kicked and talked in his sleep- and he was sick of waking up in the middle of the night with a foot shoved in his mouth or hair wrapped around the other's fist.

Itachi might've questioned his sudden kindness to those around him, but he just assumed it would go away after a while. Or until something was bad enough to push him over the edge and make him kill everyone. Either way, for him it was a win-win situation.

_I'd get my solitude back _and _get rid of all the nuisances in my life. You know, if I was ever that psycho… _

Haha. Good thing he wasn't.

/

"Hey nii-san," Sasuke said in a bored tone later that afternoon.

"What do you want?" Itachi droned, lying on his bed while flipping through a magazine. He had no idea what he was reading, but the pictures were nice. "Deidara, move your feet!" he angrily shouted when the sock-covered offenders smashed him in the nose.

Deidara was lying upside-down on the other side of the bed where no one could see him, skimming one of the Uchiha's Clan Technique scrolls for anything of interest. Most of it had to do with fire. _Are they arsonists or something…? _

Sasuke tilted his head to the side. "Well Naruto and I wanted to go out to the park sometime today." His small hands were folded behind his back, making his older brother just a tad bit suspicious.

"Why? What are you up to?" Itachi asked, looking up from the picture of the cow-eating banana.

"Weellll," Sasuke started to rock back and forth on his heels. "It's just that Haruno-san wanted to make it up to you for letting us go in the Forest all by ourselves. I thought it wouldn't be a problem so I already told her you'd be there." "What?" Itachi sat up.

Sasuke offered a large grin.

Itachi felt his eyebrow twitch. "Sasuke…you…"

Sasuke turned on his heel and ran away, laughing over his shoulder. "We have to meet at the swing set in twenty minutes!" he called.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Itachi roared, rolling off the bed and out into the hallway.

Deidara raised a brow at the sound of terrified squeals before looking back to the scroll. The most basic jutsu to start learning would be the Grand Fireball… _And it's a pretty big one…if I learn how to do it right hmm… _

- Ten minutes later-

Itachi stared at his room which had combusted into giant flames. And then he turned to the sheepishly chuckling Iwa nin standing beside him as Naruto and Sasuke threw tiny pails of water into the room. "Dei-da-ra…" he growled.

"Don't give me that look," Deidara muttered, taking a step back.

Itachi smacked him over the head. "You tried using a Katon jutsu even though you have no affinity for fire!"

"Ow!" Deidara glared at him. "Well what was I supposed to do? I wanna make a large fireball and shoot it at people too!"

"That's not how it works…" Itachi sweatdropped and placed his hands on his waist, staring at the blonde. "If you want to learn something new, then maybe you should go see the Hokage. He knows a thing or two."

"Really un?"

A small rain cloud appeared about the Uchiha's head. "Yeah…" _A thing or two that _doesn't _involve beating others up for fun… _

"O-kay then," Deidara pivoted on his heel and waved over his shoulder. "I'll be back later in that case."

Itachi felt his neck crick to the side and several tick marks appear. "You just can't leave my room like this!"

Deidara smirked. "Ja ne~"

And as usual he vanished in a fancy swirl of rocks.

"Dammit un!"

/

Itachi scowled something fierce as Naruto and Sasuke skipped ahead of him, chatting loudly amongst themselves. "Like a bunch of chipmunks."

Sasuke looked over his shoulder. "What?"

"Nothing."

Naruto pushed his nose up at Itachi before snickering and pointing out the many different colors in the sky as they walked through the park.

Itachi had a strong urge to show the blonde baka how many different colors his face could turn once his fist got a hold of it, but restrained himself in favor of greeting Sakura's mom. "Sakura's mom," he greeted.

"Hi Sakura!" Naruto and Sasuke chimed at the pink-haired girl hiding behind her mother's leg.

Sakura waved back.

Sakura's mom looked him up and down, arms delicately folded and in a summer dress. "I have a name you know."

Itachi stared. "I hadn't realized."

She stared back at him, eyes scrutinizing him as if she couldn't tell whether she wanted to punch his lights out or not at the moment. Apparently she chose the later. "Hmph. Well anyway, I just wanted to apologize for taking my eyes off of the kids and letting them in the Forest," she said as Naruto and Sasuke ran off with Sakura to play on the slide.

"You packed them bentos and sent them in there with your permission," Itachi incredulously told her.

She flicked back her long ponytail. "Yeah well I couldn't just let them go hungry, could I?"

"But-"

"Look kid," Sakura's mom said with narrowed green eyes. "I said I was sorry. Don't make me even more sorry for inviting you out here."

Itachi cringed, suddenly remembering the monstrous strength the woman possessed. "O-Of course."

"Good…" The woman moved out of the shade of the tree she had been under before waltzing towards the swingset. "Come swing with me boy."

Itachi choked out his saliva. "I- I beg your pardon?"

"On the swings," the woman slowly said.

"R-Right." Itachi hustled over, eyeing the three kids who had paused in their own playing to watch them. He hesitantly sat on a rusted swing, holding the chains almost in a death grip. Because the intense look Sakura's mom was giving him was kind of creeping him out.

Sakura pushed Sasuke off the edge of the slide before letting out a wail as Naruto knocked her off as well. The tiny blonde stood cackling at the top until he lost his balance and toppled down on top of the two trying to stand up below. The trio collapsed with a collective squeal and then rolled away from one another, giggling and slowly making their way towards Itachi and Sakura's mom who sat side-by-side on the swing set.

Itachi didn't like the looks they were giving him either and opted to just sit very still.

"So…Itachi," the pinkette woman beside him spoke. "Can I give you a push?"

Itachi spluttered. "What?"

"On the swing," she kindly said. "You wouldn't mind if I pushed you, right?"

Itachi blankly stared.

"I _said…_ you wouldn't mind being pushed by me, would you?" The woman grit out with a twitching smile and dark aura around her.

Itachi blanched, looking at her with an equally forced grin. "O-Of course not." _Scary! _

"Good…" The woman looked considerably calm as she brushed a strand of pink hair behind her ear. "Prepare…TO SWING!" she roared, a bright gleam in her eye as she swung back her leg.

"H-Hold on a minute-" Itachi managed to stammer out.

She punted him off the swing and across the village with a victory cheer. "How was that?" she asked her daughter and two friends.

The three kids stared up at her with large eyes.

And then started to celebrate.

"That was so cool kaa-san!"

"Wow! I didn't know nii-san could fly!"

"Itachi-nii looked like a big giant scaredy cat!"

Sakura's mom waved her hand nonchalantly at them. "It was no biggie. I can do it again if you'd like."

"Sweet!"

/

"I see…" The Third Hokage stroked his beard with a thoughtful look in his eye. "I suppose I could teach you a thing or two." He got up from his swivel chair after swinging in several consecutive circles, standing up and folding his arms behind him like a sage.

Deidara grinned from where he stood in the center of the Hokage's office. "It was really Itachi un who recommended you. Do you think maybe you should take him off the D and C-rank missions now? I need a partner for some of the A-rank ones you've offered me hmm."

The Hokage bobbed his head wisely. "Of course. You've been such a good little boy, so I'll be glad to grant you this favor."

"Arigatou un."

"-"

Deidara blinked.

"-ooooo problem," the Hokage cheerfully said. He started to head into a secret passage behind his bookshelf. "Stay here and I'll see what Earth scrolls I can find for you."

"Hai…"

"Oh yeah-" The Hokage paused in his step. "Would you like to join me and my exploding duck in my bathtub tonight?"

Deidara sweatdropped. "N-No thanks hmm." _Exploding duck? Awesome. Bathing with the- NO, NO, NO! DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT! _

The Hokage, oblivious to the mental horror the Iwa nin was going through, simply bobbed his head and continued out of sight. "I thought so. Itachi said the same thing when I asked him last year…"

Deidara violently shuddered.

/

Itachi growled from where he had landed in a pile of thorn bushes, climbing to his feet with a burst blood vessel. _That's it. That woman is second on the hit-list_, he furiously thought to himself. _Deidara's the first._

"Well look who it is! I haven't seen you since the end of the Chuunin Exams last week," a cheerful voice blared into his ear.

"Shisui?" Itachi warily stepped out of the bushes, violently twitching when he saw his older cousin crouched down beside him with an apron and gardener's hat on. "What…are you doing?"

Shisui waved his pair of garden clippers around. "I'm just tending to my garden. Wanna help?"

"No!"

Shisui defensively raised his hands, still grinning. "Easy there tiger." He stood up, wiping his dirt-covered hands on his ninja pants. "By the way- did you hear about tomorrow?"

Itachi raised a brow. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It's sort of like an Open House at the Academy tomorrow afternoon where the kids get to go in and explore the school a bit," Shisui explained, pocketing his spade in his shirt.

Itachi stared and then shook his head. "O-kay. Well I'll keep that in mind since Sasuke and Naruto will be enrolling next week."

Shisui looked at him in surprise. "They're already at that age?"

Itachi gave him a look of exasperation. "Shisui. Where have you _been _these last few weeks? They turned eight last year and Sasuke's about to turn nine next month."

"Oh yeah," Shisui smiled at his cousin, leaning back with his hands on his hips. "Speaking of birthdays…yours is in two days- right?"

"Wow. I'm surprised you remembered."

"Ouch. Why wouldn't I? You're my favorite cousin of all time _and _my best friend." Shisui looked him up and down. "Although…after the abuse I've suffered at your hands…"

"All very much deserved you moron," Itachi muttered. "I'm going home now. See you later."

Shisui waved. "Just don't lock your window!" he called.

Itachi's eye twitched.

/

Sasuke happily bounced past his older brother in the hall on his way to the bathroom, a towel and pajamas crumpled in his grasp. It was nighttime and he and Naruto were going to clean up before going to bed like they were supposed to.

Itachi came to a halt and looked over his shoulder. "Sasuke?"

"What's the matter nii-san?" Sasuke innocently asked.

Itachi shrugged. "Nothing really, I just NEED TO KILL YOU FOR SETTING ME UP WITH SAKURA'S MOM!" he roared before tackling the squealing boy to the ground and throttling him.

Luckily for Sasuke, Naruto came rushing by, whacking Itachi on the back of the head with his shampoo bottle. "Down Bessie down!"

"Ow! You little-"

Naruto quickly pulled Sasuke up and the two dashed into the bathroom, laughing their little heads off as they locked the door.

Itachi growled, pushing back his imaginary sleeves as he climbed to his feet. "I'm a ninja. I have a hairpin and can pick locks you little brats…" he muttered under his breath.

"Itachi…?"

The oldest Uchiha glared and whirled on his heel, pointing an accusing finger at the curious blonde. "Where were _you _all day after blowing up my room?"

Deidara shrugged with a smirk. "Obviously not here." He started to walked by but was stopped when Itachi grabbed him by the back of his shirt. "What is it un?" he tossed his head back to stare at the raven upside-down.

Itachi gazed at him with a serious expression. "I know you want to try out all the jutsus in those scrolls the Hokage gave you, but I need you to get proper rest for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow un?"

"Yeah." Itachi released him. "It's a chance for all the kids who want to enroll in the Ninja Academy to check out the building. Like a tour. And before you say anything- _no_. You can't join the Academy for fun."

Deidara rolled his eyes and _almost_ pouted. "Loser."

"Fatass."

A vein popped. "Well you're an ugly old troll!"

Itachi felt his eye spasm. "I'd rather be a troll than a cyclops."

"Shut up un!"

"No you shut up!"

"Whatever! I guess I'll wait until later on then…" The Iwa nin mumbled. He turned around, rotating his sore shoulders. "Goodnight you stupid bastard."

Itachi scoffed, crossing his arms as the blonde walked away. "Yeah- same to you, little blond monster-"

Deidara suddenly zoomed back in his face, vein throbbing. "What was that?"

"You heard me," Itachi smirked, pointing at the bomber's nose and making him go cross-eyed.

"Well you're just some fat ole' buzz kill who needs to lay off the dango and work out more," Deidara harrumphed.

Now it was Itachi's turn to pop a vein. "Why you stupid-"

Deidara blew a raspberry.

Needless to say- no one in the Uchiha household got to sleep that night.


	22. Adjusting to Life

**A/N: Another chapter!**

**Filled with the kids you all know and love. Well...maybe not love- but you know 'em.**

**Warning: Language, OOC, slight violence...**

* * *

The afternoon was hot and humid, and neither Deidara nor Itachi were pleased.

Their hair was frizzing.

But besides that, they had to stand and listen to the Hokage give some bat-shit crazy speech on the powers of exploding ducks and how they were going to use it as their newly upgraded weapons in the far future if they ever made one big enough to drop over an entire country and wipe it out. Then he started talking about the need to have a baby boom. And then maybe they could create a giant baby and drop it along with the duck. Of course that got him started on a rant about how all of civilization should be able to explode whenever they wanted and that the up and coming shinobi should be the first test subjects. Needless to say, everyone listening either had horrified or exasperated looks on their faces. Especially the kids waiting to get into the Academy. Their faces were a mix between being awed and total mortification.

Deidara nudged Itachi in the side. "I love Hiruzen- don't get me wrong…but I'm starting to think there's something wrong with him un."

Itachi sent him a scathing glare. "How are you just figuring this out now?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Touchy, touchy. By the way un, your sorry excuse for a ponytail is turning into the latest bush Shisui butchered with his clippers yesterday."

"What!" Itachi patted his hair in a frenzy until he realized Deidara was snickering and he just got jipped. He resisted the urge to punch the blonde and instead ignored the amused looks all the parents and other shinobi were giving him.

Shisui and Kakashi, who were side-by-side, gave him particularly large grins.

Itachi's neck cricked to the side, eye twitching.

The Hokage waved towards the mass of kids behind him, oblivious to what happened in the back of the crowd before him. "These are alllll my little follo- I mean children. Posted on the wall behind you is the names of the kids you'll be assigned to. Take care of them or face the wrath of my pencil-stick thingy!"

The teens and adults deadpanned. "Hai…"

"Now go find your groups!" The Hokage ordered.

* * *

Deidara wandered over to Itachi, a piece of paper in his hands. "Hey un. You find your group?"

"Yeah…" Itachi gave him a strange look. "But for some reason, I only have three kids in it."

Deidara looked around. "Where are they?"

Itachi also looked around, finally noticing an odd trio standing in a triangle. "I…think that's them," he slowly said with a sort of twitch.

The first one was obviously a Hyuuga, if his hair style and length was anything to go by. He was trying to ignore and calm his two arguing friends- one with a really long braid and large cheerful eyes, and the other a short brunette with a fierce scowl and little pigtails.

"Um…not like I would know anything about your village and the people inside," Deidara started to say. "But aren't they already supposed to be in the Academy un?"

Itachi gave him a resigned look. "Our village is being ran by a slightly crazed old man. Do you honestly expect anything else to be right in this place?"

Deidara shrugged. "Fair point."

Lee tugged on Neji's sleeve. "Our great tour guide is awaiting us! Let us go greet him!"

Neji smiled at the energetic Chinese-styled boy. "Sure, give me a minute." He turned to another boy who had gotten lost from his group and had been gaping at him for the past few minutes. "You are not worthy to stand beside me. Run away like the peasant you are and back into the cardboard box you call your home," Neji sneered.

The boy took in deep gasping breaths before bursting into tears and running smack dab into a tree.

"Hmph. Petty human." Neji kindly looked at Lee. "Alright- let's go."

Itachi and Deidara stared at them.

"Well…" Deidara pat his friend on the back, stepping to the side. "Have fun with your lot un."

Itachi glared. "Why do you always get the nice and innocent looking ones?"

"Because I'm just better," Deidara smirked. "They're coming for you hmm. Ja~"

Itachi's eyes opened wide. "No- wait a minute- I can't be left alone with these little monsters!" he cried as the trio surrounded him.

Deidara watched as Itachi was dragged off to his impeding doom. He had seen the devious glint in the children's eyes and knew that the older Uchiha wasn't getting off the hook without some damage done to his pride. And body.

He snickered to himself and looking around at his own little group he had been assigned to. Naruto and Sasuke were there with their eyes large with excitement, both in black shorts and t-shirts. Sasuke stole his best friend's favorite white shirt with the swirl on it, claiming it would make all the other kids jealous of his awesome clothing style. Although Naruto was doing a pretty good job of blinding everyone within a ten mile radius with his neon orange one…

Besides the two kids he had come to see as siblings, there was also Sakura. Her short hair was pushed back by a white headband and also donning black shorts with a blue shirt. And now that Deidara looked at Inuzuka Kiba- the other kid in his group- he noticed that he too was wearing black shorts and a black hoodie.

"Why are all of you wearing the same type of shorts?" Deidara asked with a raised brow.

"Oh." Sasuke took a look around him, waving at everyone. "Naruto and I called our friends we knew who would be with us and planned to match somewhat, but not too much or else people would think we were really trying."

Deidara gave him a weird look, slowly nodding his head as if he understood. "Right… But I thought Itachi didn't let you use the phone."

"He doesn't," Naruto piped up. "We just stole his cellphone and used that instead."

Deidara's interest was now peaked. "He has a cellphone un?"

Sasuke and Naruto bobbed their heads. "Hai."

"Hmm… I'll have to steal it sometime," Deidara muttered, looking thoughtful.

Kiba frowned a bit, looking down and randomly saying, "I wish I could have brought Akamaru with me here. But nee-chan said he had to go the vet for a check-up."

Naruto consolingly patted the brunette on the back. "Don't worry. At least you have a pet puppy. I've always wanted one."

"Akamaru's not just some pet! He's my best friend!" Kiba defensively cried.

Naruto backed away in alarm. "Take it easy! I just wanted a pet!"

"Akamaru's not a pet!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes a bit.

Deidara couldn't help but guffaw. "No need to look far un. We've got a pet back at home already," he told Naruto.

"Really?" Naruto's face brightened.

"Yeah. His name's Itachi," Deidara sniggered.

Yup. Sasuke definitely rolled his eyes. He was already getting that Uchiha sass.

"A-Ano…"

Deidara blinked and looked down, noticing a small pale girl he hadn't noticed before. And that was pretty bad considering he had been standing there for at least fifteen minutes. _Well at least enemy ninja won't notice either… _he thought with a slight sweatdrop. She was nervously poking her fingers together, almost violet bangs hiding her even paler eyes. The Iwa nin noted with a slight twitch that even she was wearing black shorts and a pink t-shirt.

"I-I…" the girl trailed off.

Deidara crouched down in front of her, grinning broadly. "Well who's this pretty lady?"

She blushed, looking everywhere but at him. "H-H-H-Hin-Hi-H-H-"

Deidara stared.

"H-H-Hinata!" She shuffled closer to Naruto who looked surprised at the action. "I-I'm Hinata."

"I see…" Deidara smiled and stood back up, surveying the group of eight year olds. _Oh my Kami what a stuttering problem! _"It's nice to meet you all. I'm Deidara and I'll be giving you a tour of the Academy you'll be going to starting next week un."

Kiba hung his head back, letting out a loud groan. "I don't wanna take a stupid tour though. It's too hot!" he whined.

"Maybe you should take off your jacket then."

The entire group shrieked, jumping several feet into the air.

Deidara held a hand over his heart, his other one hiding the group of kids who had taken shelter behind him. Another kid stood in front of him, dark sunglasses on and a black hooded cloak.

"G-G-Ghost!" Naruto stuttered out, pointing a finger at him.

"I'm not a ghost. I'm Shino," the kid said.

Deidara straightened up, coughing lightly. "Well- uh- Shino-kun. What brings you here?"

The dark sunglasses gleamed. "I've been here all along. I'm a part of your group."

"Ah…" Deidara sweatdropped. _This kid came out of nowhere. That's…kind of scary… _"Okay then Shino-kun, are you ready for the tour."

Shino pushed his glasses higher onto the bridge of his nose. "For all my life."

The group of kids behind Deidara shuddered, dark clouds above their heads. "Scary…"

Deidara looked at them with a half-grin. "Come on guys, he just caught you off guard, that's all. If you're all well-behaved, I'll even take you out for ice cream later."

"Really?" Sakura asked, eyes big and hopeful.

"Yeah un. Now let's get going," the Iwa nin laughed, directing his group of soon-to-be-shinobi towards the Academy doors. _I wonder how Itachi's doing? _he absently thought as Shino held a swarm of insects up to Kiba's nose who screeched and ran behind a giggling Sasuke for cover. Deidara affectionately smiled. _Oh well. I'll find out later. _

* * *

Itachi raised a fist, temple throbbing. "Lee…" He whirled around. "GET OFF OF THE CEILING!" he shouted at the pony-tailed boy.

Lee merely laughed in response. "My inner spirit is finally free!"

"Your inner spirit is going to DIE if you don't get down here!" Itachi yelled with a violent twitch.

Neji shook his head. "Just give it up Uchiha. Lee never listens unless Gai is around."

Itachi looked at the tiny Hyuuga with a twitching smile. "Who are you calling Uchiha you nine-year old brat?"

Tenten kicked him in the shin. "Don't call my friends names you jerk!"

"Ow! My kneecap!" Itachi fell to the ground, rolling around. "What the hell is in your shoe?" he growled at the brunette.

Tenten pulled an eyelid down and stuck out her tongue. "Nya nya!"

_They're even worse than Naruto and Deidara! _Itachi fiercely thought with a snarl.

Neji smirked at Itachi's pain. "You are a big fool. The Hyuuga Clan will never bow down to the likes of you."

Itachi felt his fists clench. _I'm going to kill him…_ _And why did I get stuck with the most annoying/violent group anyway? _

* * *

"Hey Deidara-nii," Kiba started to say from where he had latched onto the blonde's gloved hand. "There's some weird girl with no pupils following us. And I don't mean Hinata."

Hinata flushed. "Wha-?"

Deidara paused in the hallway they were in, sweatdropping slightly. "Kiba-kun be a little bit nicer…" For some reasonor another his tiny group of adorable little kids had taken to calling him what Naruto and Sasuke were. Not that he minded, he was just glad he had such a great group of children. And now that he looked behind him, there was a tiny little girl with short blonde hair and bright- but pupil less- blue eyes. She seemed to be glaring intently at them.

Kiba and Naruto shuddered, slinking back behind Sasuke. "Uwah! How scary…"

Sasuke looked at them helplessly. "Why do you always hide by me?"

Sakura stepped forward, tilting her chin at the girl who in turn blanched in surprise and hurriedly looked away.

Deidara took notice. "Sakura? Do you know this little lady?" he kindly asked.

Sakura politely bobbed her head, skipping over to the glaring girl before stomping on her head.

"WHAT THE-!" Deidara and the others jumped back with wide eyes. "S-Sakura what are you doing?" Deidara exclaimed.

Sakura innocently looked back at him. "I was just saying hi."

"Wha-?"

The blonde girl quickly retaliated with a flying kick. "Hiya! Take that!" she victoriously cheered as Sakura went face-first into the floor.

Sakura viciously growled before jumping to her feet and punching her in the face.

A very loud cat-fight ensued afterwards.

"Whoa…" Kiba said in awe. "Awesome! Get 'er in the gut!"

"Fighting in the Academy is unmoral," Shino said, pushing up his tiny glasses.

Kiba gave him a stink-eye. "Aw who asked you?"

"U-Um…I-" Hinata fiddled with her thumbs.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance before hurrying into the fray and trying to break Sakura and Ino apart. Their good efforts were rewarded with a black eye each.

"Ow!" Naruto stumbled back, holding his eye.

"Naruto!" Sasuke ran to his side and checked the injury (despite the fact that he had the _exact _same one) before glaring at the grinning girls across from them. "You'll pay for that!"

The blonde girl stuck out her tongue. "Try and make us, _weakling_."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Alright. C'mon Naruto! Tag-team royale!"

Deidara covered his face with his hand. "Oh my God this is not happening…"

"Okay, okay guys," a warm voice said from beside the Iwa nin. "Break it up."

Deidara glanced beside him, seeing a cheery brunette a tad bit taller than him standing with his hands on his hips. _Who's…he?_

The fighting and hooting from the onlookers continued.

The brunette acquired a popped vein. "I SAID BREAK IT UP!" he roared.

All noise ceased immediately.

Deidara stared with large eyes, smoothing back the parts of his hair that had been blasted back by the demand.

The brunette sighed, clapping his hands. "Sakura, Ino, I know you don't get along, but this is supposed to be a happy event. Can't you put aside your psycho tendencies for one day?"

Sakura and the blonde girl- now known as Ino- sheepishly grinned in response. "Sorry Iruka-senpai."

Iruka flushed. "How many times have I told you not to call me that…?" he mumbled before noticing the bewildered looks he was getting from all the other kids around. His eyes lit up. "Naruto! Sasuke!" He ran over to inspect their swollen eyes. "Are you two alright?"

Naruto excitedly beamed at him. "Iruka-senpai! I haven't seen you since I last stuck you outside your telephone pole by your underwear! How've you been?"

Iruka felt thunderclouds gather above his head. "A lot better before you reminded me about that incident…"

"But Naruto's right," Sasuke said in a thinking tone. "We last saw you two months ago."

"And from what I heard you two have been up to nothing but trouble," Iruka scolded. "Kakashi told me that you snuck into the Chuunin Exams. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

Kiba tugged on Shino's cloak. "What's the Chuunin Exams Shino?"

"Where they have dogsled races down snowy slopes," Shino replied without looking.

Kiba glared, turning his nose up. "You liar."

Naruto and Sasuke had the decency to look guilty. "Sorry Iruka-senpai…" they apologized.

Iruka shook his head with a what-can-you-do- kind of smile. "It's alright. Is Itachi doing fine?"

"Yup!" Sasuke eagerly moved in closer. "He's been a lot more fun ever since Deidara-nii came!"

Iruka cocked his head to the side. "Who?"

"The guy standing next to you," Deidara dryly said, finally speaking up.

Iruka looked like he had a _minor _heart attack before nervously chuckling and sticking out his hand. "Ah! So sorry not to have noticed," he laughed.

_Are you blind? _Deidara accepted the hand with a large grin and small tick mark on his forehead. "Nice to meet you. I'm Iwa De- I mean, Uchiha Deidara," he said. _Damn that takes getting used to… _

"Uchiha?" Iruka analyzed him with curious eyes. "But-"

"Yeah I know," Deidara interrupted with a smirk. "I don't have the psychopathic eyes or genetic glare that all Uchihas are born with, nor do I have their sense of lack of color. But yeah un. I'm all Uchiha."

Sasuke turned to Hinata. "Do I lack color?"

The tiny Hyuuga flushed deeply. "N-N-N-N-"

"Nevermind," Sasuke sweatdropped with a kind smile.

"Well I think you do," Naruto butt in from the Uchiha's other side. "You should dress more like me!" he excitedly said.

"Like a light bulb with no fashion sense?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto proudly planted his hands on his waist. "Yes! Like a light bulb with no- Hey wait a minute! Sasuke you big meany head!"

Kiba howled with laughter. "G-Good one Sasuke!"

Sasuke frowned. "But I was being serious…"

"Well Deidara-kun, you must have been imported," Iruka joked over the wailing from the kids. He missed the Iwa nin's twitch as he turned his attention back to the group of kids bantering. "Now then. Sakura, Ino- you two can come with me in the timeout corner for disrupting classes in the Academy."

"Awww…" they pouted.

Iruka guided them by the shoulders towards a classroom door that had been right alongside the group all along. It must have been the reason why he heard the tussle in the first place. The brunette waved over his shoulder at Deidara who watched baffled as the rest of the kids followed him inside.

Naruto stopped in the doorway, however, to wave at the confused bomber. "Don't worry about us Deidara-nii. Iruka-senpai always takes good care of us when we're with him."

"But…" Deidara raised his hands almost sadly. "I was going to take you guys out for ice cream…"

Naruto looked a little bit apologetic. "Sorry. Iruka-senpai usually takes us all out for ice cream after his boring old lectures anyway. And now that he's here… well Sasuke and I haven't seen him in a long time."

Deidara smiled at this. "No, it's okay. You should spend time with someone you've missed un. I'll…go find Ita-kun and make sure he's alright," he said.

Naruto gazed at him as if he was unsure, but hesitantly waved and entered the classroom after a few seconds.

Deidara stared and then turned around, flames rising up behind him in a mighty roar with a bright gleam in his visible eye. _That damn Iruka guy! Taking away all my children! _he inwardly screamed. Steaming from the ears, he pivoted on his heel and stomped down the hall in search of Itachi's stupid chakra signature.

* * *

"Hey where do you think you're going?" Tenten shouted.

"Do not run away from destiny. You shall die a loser Uchiha Itachi."

"YOSH!"

In fear of being mugged and anymore traumatized than he already was by a trio of psychotic children, Itachi raced down the hall in search of anywhere to hide. He skidded to a halt in front of a quiet classroom door which was closed, hearing no giggling kids inside.

Itachi warily opened the classroom door, peeking inside and seeing only one student sitting inside, attentively looking at a non-existent teacher with a book in his hands. Itachi felt his brow start to twitch uncontrollably. "What…do you think you're doing? SHISUI YOU BAKA!"

Shisui looked at him with a mischievous grin. "Hiya cousin. I haven't seen you in _ages_."

"You just saw me an hour ago," Itachi grumbled, stepping inside the room. "Why are you in here?"

"Because I know it pisses you off when I do things like this," Shisui answered with a smile.

Itachi felt a vein pop. "Shisui you…"

"Anyhow!" The older Uchiha stood up, throwing his book over his shoulder without looking. "I got a message today from your father."

"Tou-san…?" Itachi eyed his cousin as he walked by and motioned for him to follow. They stepped out into the hallway, starting to walk who-knows-where; listening to the sounds of the teachers and students inside each class they passed.

Shisui hummed in the back of his throat for a while before speaking. "He said that he heard about your little episode with the Hyuuga Clan last month. He also said that if you don't fix it, he'll string you up on a telephone pole by your underwear."

A chill ran up Itachi's spine. _Like my foolish little brother and Naruto-no-baka did to Iruka two months ago… _"Fix things with the Hyuuga Clan? That wasn't even my fault. It was that moron Deidara's fault!"

"Why I never-!" Shisui gasped, halting in his tracks to gape at his cousin. "How could you blame such a sweet boy like Dei-kun?"

"Sweet's far from it," Itachi grouched, crossing his arms. "Fine- whatever. I'll see what I can do about the Hyuuga problem. Is that all you wanted to say?"

"Nope!" Shisui slung an arm around the thirteen year old raven. "Hiruzen also said to inform you that he wants to see you tomorrow in his office sometime before noon. And no I don't know why. But _I _think it's because he wants to throw you a fiesta!"

Itachi pushed Shisui away with a scowl. "Why is everyone on a first name basis with the Hokage except for me? And why the hell would he want to throw a party?"

Shisui rolled his eyes and huffed in an exaggerated motion. "Well _maybe _if you weren't always twisting your expressions into ones that promise pain and suffering, Hiruzen would warm up to you. As for the party… it's a secret!"

"It's not a secret if you already told me about it," Itachi said with thinly veiled patience. Not that he had any to begin with.

Shisui cackled, suddenly in a dark corner and rubbing his hands together. "But I never told you what _kind _of party is was favorite cousin…"

Itachi sighed, placing a hand to his head before turning in the opposite direction. "Okay, that's it. I'm going to find Sasuke, Naruto, and Deidara, and then we're going home."

"Have fun finding them!" Shisui cheerfully shouted after him with a wave. "And you dropped your shoe!"

Itachi paused to look down, only to hear loud chortling behind him and realize he had just been powned. By the time he whirled around to shove a kunai down Shisui's throat, the older Uchiha was already booking it down the hall with obnoxious waves of laughter.

"I'm going to _kill _him…" Itachi seethed, pocketing his weapon for later use.

* * *

Later that afternoon as he was walking out of the Academy, finally having been released from the monstrous beings known as kids, Itachi saw Iruka waving goodbye to a bunch of punks he could have sworn had been with Deidara earlier- his little brother and Naruto included.

Itachi raised a brow and walked over as Iruka went back inside.

Sasuke caught sight of him and ran over, a dripping ice cream cone in his hands. "Nii-san! I missed you!"

"It's a shame I didn't," Itachi muttered. He grimaced as Naruto practically flew over and wiped his sticky hands all over his pants.

"Hey Itachi-nii! You missed the best class lesson ever!" Naruto cheerfully said.

Itachi dryly stepped out of the younger blonde's eager grasp, staring at the two kids. "Really now? And what was it about?"

Naruto scratched the bottom of his chin thoughtfully. "You know…I don't really know." He perked up. "But Iruka-senpai got us all ice cream afterwards!"

"Mmhmm," Itachi inwardly rolled his eyes, looking at Sasuke. "And where is Deidara?"

Sasuke paused in his demolition of his ice cream treat. "I actually don't know." The tiny raven glanced at his best friend. "Naru-chan, where did Deidara-nii go after Iruka-senpai took us into the classroom?"

Naruto blinked, suddenly remembering his last encounter with the older blonde. "He… I don't know where Deidara-nii went but…" _He was really sad about seeing us leave. I knew I should've asked him to come into Iruka-sensei's class with us! _Naruto looked back to Itachi who was expectantly gazing at him. "Sorry. I dunno."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "I see. Well…you guys can either go back to the compound or hang out with your new friends you made today. If you made any at all."

Sasuke stuck his tongue out. "How mean! There's no one to take us back home anyway."

"I'm open!"

All three had a minor heart attack.

"Shisui quit sneaking up on people!" Itachi exclaimed.

Shisui chuckled behind a hand. "Old habits die hard. So!" He placed a hand on top of the two kid's heads. "You guys ready to go?"

"Yeah…I guess so," Naruto mumbled. He glanced back at Itachi who remained glaring at his older cousin. "Ano… Itachi-nii?"

"Don't call me that. What do you want?" Itachi asked.

"Tell Deidara-nii I said sorry," Naruto hastily blurted out before turning around and running to catch up with Shisui and Sasuke who had already started walking away.

Itachi couldn't help but smile. "Sure thing…"

And then he twitched.

_Deidara-no-baka! Now I have to go all over the village just to find you! _

He sighed, a wave of depression hitting him over the head before turning and vanishing in a swirl of leaves. He had a feeling he'd be playing as caretaker for quite some time.

And strangely, he didn't mind.

* * *

**A/N: Boy, I sure do love Iruka. **

**The next update might not be out for a while, seeing as I have to type it out first. But I really am thinking of taking this story in another direction. Sorry :P So if you want to read more on these guys it'll be under the Humor/ Drama category. **

**Yes- that means I'm writing a sequel :D**

**The format will be the same as the first four chapters of this story until a plot twister comes along, such as the Chuunin Exams. **

**But until then- please be patient! I'm going to do my best **

**^v^**


	23. Extra Chapter! Meeting Akatsuki

**A/N: Before this story wraps up- I've written a 'What if' in the future drabble. **

**It's when Deidara and Itachi decide to join Akatsuki after wandering outside the Leaf Village in search of odd jobs to make money. They never ran into them at the Chuunin Exams. **

**Warning: Language, violence, OOC...**

* * *

"Akatsuki?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that an S-ranked criminal organization un?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Then what's with the-"

"I don't know Deidara."

Two young men, one age eighteen and the other twenty, stood staring at a large basket on their kitchen table. The basket was filled with exotic fruits, chocolate hearts, and stuffed bunny rabbits. Even the greeting card glued to the top was frilly.

Deidara picked up the card with a raised brow, flipping it open with a hand. "'_Dear Uchiha Itachi and Deidara-kun, this is a basket. A basket full of friendship and good feeling. Join our organization and we will give you more power and status than you have right now. Also we make quite an amount of money. And who couldn't use more money? Please respond accordingly. With much hope and love- Pein.' _Un," he dryly finished.

Itachi took the card out of his hand, re-reading it. "Sounds interesting," he said without looking up.

"Interesting? Don't be ridiculous Itachi un," Deidara said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. "I mean, look what they sent us. Something's _obviously _wrong with this organization hmm."

Itachi snorted, facing the blonde with an eyebrow raised. "You seem to be against this, surprisingly. It might not be a bad idea you know."

"They're trying to bribe us."

"They're not trying to bribe us. Don't be an idiot."

"I'm not being an idiot you stupid troll!" Deidara shouted with a popped vein.

"What was that?" Itachi butted foreheads with him, several tick marks plastered onto his face.

"We shouldn't go hmm!"

"Why not?"

"Because there's no point!

"I thought you wanted to travel around and make money?"

"Yeah- but not by _leaving_. Especially since it could be forever. Itachi-no-baka!"

"Don't call me that you-!"

"Um..."

Deidara and Itachi jumped apart from where they had been seriously considering starting a fight in the middle of the kitchen, looking towards the doorway with pissed off expressions still on. Sasuke and Naruto stared back at them, sweating from training out in the fields with their team.

"Is everything all right?" Sasuke carefully asked, noticing his brother's Sharingan was activated.

"It's nothing," Itachi assured him, eyes going back to their original color.

Deidara turned to him in anger. "It's not nothing-!"

Itachi clouted him over the head.

"Ow!"

Naruto and Sasuke sweatdropped. They had gotten used to their older brothers' fighting over the years.

"Can we help with anything?" Naruto asked. "You know we could always get Hiruzen to help you out-"

"That won't be necessary," Itachi interrupted with a violent twitch.

Deidara sourly glanced at him. "I wouldn't mind having Hiruzen down here un..." he grumbled.

"So what were you guys fighting about this time?" Sasuke questioned.

Itachi hummed thoughtfully and then waved them off. "It's nothing really. Deidara-no-baka and I have a mission to go on and it's going to take a long time."

Deidara started to protest but was cut off by Sasuke.

"Are you ever coming back?" he asked in a bored tone.

Itachi shrugged. "Who knows. We'll visit."

Sasuke harrumphed, nodding slightly.

Naruto blinked. "Will it bring in lots of money?"

"Hn."

Naruto beamed, flashing him a thumb up. "Well have fun then! We need to find a way to get more money anyway since you won't let us blow up any more banks with Deidara-nii."

"That's because the Hokage keeps billing me," Itachi muttered with a popped vein.

"Well we won't keep you any longer," Sasuke said, dragging his best friend off by the ear. "Have fun and don't die."

"Itai! You're gonna rip my ear off bastard!"

"Shut up dobe."

Deidara stared after them. "Wha...?"

Itachi waited until he was sure the two had disappeared from sight to turn to a baffled Deidara. "Ok. Let's get going then."

"Ha?" The blonde gave him an incredulous look. "We can't just leave Sasuke and Naruto here alone."

"Yes we can."

"Heartless bastard," Deidara twitched.

Itachi rolled his eyes, picking one of the fruits out the basket. "We're not their parents Deidara, they can take care of themselves now."

"Says you," Deidara huffed, sticking out his tongue. "They're only fourteen un."

"And they have Shisui here to bother them." Itachi started to walk for the front door. "Let's just check out what this organization wants. We can send them goodie- baskets like this and other crap in the mail."

Deidara listened to the sounds of Naruto and Sasuke bickering in the living room before sighing and following after the older Uchiha.

Well- atleast they left a note.

* * *

-Thirty Minutes Later-

* * *

Pein was sitting in his chambers overlooking Bijuu profiles when a knock came on his door. The pictures were actually quite nice; he had a big collection of the Bijuu posters on his wall- the collectable version. Very elite. And one day he's rule the world with them!

The knock came again. "Stop thinking about your posters Pein and open up dammit!"

He looked up from the desk he sat at and called, "Alright, alright. Come in." _Sheesh! _

Konan had a very strange look on her face as she walked in. "Pein-_sama_, there are two guys out here to see you."

"Me?" Pein was kind of caught off guard. No one _ever _came to visit him! "Well send them in. Hurry."

Konan nodded and then walked back out. A few minutes later the smirking blonde and impassive raven Pein had first noticed on a scouting mission strode inside his chambers, strutting as if they owned the place.

Deidara appreciatively whistled. "Nice place un."

"Very Stone Age era," Itachi added.

Pein gaped in surprise, trying to figure out how the two teens managed to find him all the way out in Amegakure by themselves in less than a day. "What are you two doing here?"

"Well we got your basket in the mail and decided to come scope things out un," Deidara said. He soon acquired a thoughtful look. "Although it _is _kind of weird how you found out about us and sent a card and care package to our house…"

Itachi bobbed his head in agreement. "Yes. Please refrain from doing that next time. The fruit was good but I don't appreciate stalkers very much."

"What happened to the chocolate?" Pein asked with a raised brow.

Itachi jabbed a thumb beside him. "This fatass ate it all."

"What!" Deidara pulled him into a rough headlock, trying to strangle him. "That was _you _you fat old ogre!"

Pein cleared his throat to get the attention back on him. "Before allowing you to join, I must hear a valid reason for you wanting to become a part of our organization."

Itachi assumed an authorative stance, coughing into his fist before beginning to speak. "Many years ago my parents-"

"We just want your money un," Deidara cut him off.

Itachi looked at him with thunderclouds booming above his head. "Deidara...you..."

Deidara gave him a smirk. "What? It's the truth isn't it?"

"That's not it!" Itachi lunged at him, tugging at his cheeks. "Just stop cutting me off baka!"

Pein inwardly rolled his eyes at the bickering. "Alright, break it up you two. Your reasoning is fine- everyone else is here for the money too. Now do you pledge to serve Akatsuki faithfully and loyalty or suffer at the hands of death and/or cannibalism?"

Deidara pursed his lips. "I don't know hmm. I don't do pledges."

"Neither do I," Itachi said.

"And cannibalism doesn't suit me either," Deidara hummed.

"Then just paint your nails and put on our cloak for Kami's sake!" Pein said in a frustrated tone.

The blonde smirked. "Will do hmm."

Pein looked up, shuffling the papers on his desk. "I'm glad you've agreed. Now I'll take you to meet your partners that you'll be assigned to go on missions and capture the Bijuu with."

Deidara and Itachi exchanged a glance.

"You mean we won't be partners together?" Itachi asked.

"Of course not," Pein said with a slight grimace. "I don't think your…fighting abilities compliment each other all that well…" He grimaced again at the memory of his scouting mission. "So I found two others who would be much more productive."

Deidara jutted out his bottom lip. "I didn't think we were that bad un," he murmured, thinking about their last mission for the Hokage.

* * *

_-Flashback of what Pein saw-_

* * *

_Deidara grinned, wiping his hands as he clutched the scroll they were assigned to retrieve. All around them the village they had attacked was in shambles, set aflame by a massive explosion. He called his clay bird to him which was circling above, looking around at the same time. "Hey Itachi!"_

_The Uchiha glared at the sound of the voice from the mob of shinobi he was currently dealing with. Peering through the crowd of attackers, he could just make out the lithe form of the blonde climbing onto the back of his clay bird and feeding it clay seeds as a treat. Itachi rolled his eyes and sliced through the bodies in his way. "Deidara- what are you doing?" _

_Deidara flew overhead, waving over his shoulder as he did so. "You need to get out of there hmm. I just planted a mine!" he called. _

"_What? What the heck is wrong with you?" Itachi shouted. "I'm still down here!"_

"_Well then come on up un!"_

"_Using what?"_

"_Er…"_

"_DEIDARA YOU IDIOT!"_

* * *

_End Flashback_

* * *

Itachi and Deidara cringed at the memory. "Ah…" they muttered in unison.

Itachi had to walk around in bandages for three months and Deidara had to use crutches to move due to the vicious beating Itachi gave him afterwards.

Pein nodded. "I can see you understand. So now if you'll come with me…" The leader of Akatsuki stood, motioning them to follow him out the room. "I will introduce you to your new partners."

* * *

Deidara stared, and then nudged Itachi in the side. "Oh my Kami un…look at the one on the right," he loudly whispered.

Itachi cast him an irritable glance. "The one on the right? How about the one on the left?" he whispered back. "It's a giant shark."

"The other's a hunchback," Deidara said in awe.

Itachi rolled his eyes.

Watching the two teens interact with slight veins throbbing was a pissed Sasori in Hiruko and Kisame with Sameheda on his back. Pein stood off to the side, his face in his hand.

Deidara sighed. "I miss Naru-chan and Sasu-kun already," he woefully said.

"I don't," Itachi muttered.

Deidara gave him a look, placing his hands on his hips. "So you're telling me that if Sasu-kun and Naru-chan's sibling rivalry ever got out of hand so bad that it made Sasu-kun all jealous at Naru-chan, then causing Sasu-kun to go slightly more crazy than he already is and run off to- oh I don't know- _Orochimaru _un, that you wouldn't care?"

Itachi blinked at him owlishly. "Deidara do you ever _think _when you speak?"

"No, not really hmm."

"Obviously." Itachi crossed his arms, staring the younger blonde down. "Besides, Sasuke would never go off to a person like Orochimaru. We haven't even seen him in seven years, and I doubt he'll show up now."

Deidara waved his hands. "Fine, fine hmm."

Pein cleared his throat. "I'd hate to interrupt your…conversation," he said, "but can we please get on with this?"

"Hai!" the two chorused.

Pein ever so slightly twitched. "OK then. Deidara of Iwagakure-"

"Konohagakure," the blonde interrupted.

"What?" Pein asked.

"Konohagakure," Deidara repeated. "That's where I'm from un."

Pein felt a nerve under his left eye twitch. "Fine then. Deidara of Konohagakure. I now introduce you to your partner, Akasuna no Sasori of Sunagakure."

Deidara blankly stared at him, and then turned to Itachi. "So it that the weird hunched creature or the shark?"

Itachi shrugged. "How should I know? And why would a shark be from the desert?"

"Uh…"

Itachi heavily sighed. "Shark Deidara. _Desert_."

Deidara shook his head. "Hmm…nope! I don't see what you're getting at un."

Sasori had the strong urge to smite the blonde where he stood. "_I _am Sasori, stupid brat."

Deidara jumped, clearly startled. "It talks!"

Pein smacked his forehead. _Idiot! _

Sasori had a violent spasm from within Hiruko's shell. And somehow he knew that their peaceful days in Akatsuki had ended, and a new era of idiocy had come into their humble organization.

"I guess that means you're stuck with the shark hmm," Deidara pointed out to his raven-haired friend.

Itachi gave the slightest glare. "I didn't need you to tell me that."

"Yes you did un."

"No. I didn't."

"You looked confused."

"I did not."

"But-"

"Deidara just shut up already!"

"I hate you un!" Deidara's fingers formed a familiar seal. "Kat-"

"Mangekyo Sharingan!" Itachi shouted.

Deidara fell to the ground, holding his eyes. "Ahh! Dear Kami it BURNS! Itachi you bastard!"

Sasori stared.

Kisame looked at Pein. "Are you for real?"

Pein sighed. "Welcome the Akatsuki's latest recruits," he said waving a hand towards the arguing teens.

* * *

**Day One: _Meeting the Members_**

Pein waved a hand over the crowd of assembled members who were gathered in the living room area, slightly dreading the result of the Akatsuki initiation. After yesterday with the two new recruit's introductions, they had officially made enemies with their partners and effectively destroyed his personal chambers.

His brow twitched. _Damn brats…_

And now the two stood side-by-side, glancing around with wide eyes at the sight of the other members they had yet to meet.

"Oh my Kami," Deidara breathed, nudging his best friend in the side. "Look at all them un! It's like a giant salad!"

"Or a large assortment of abandoned toys," Itachi muttered.

Everyone soon acquired giant ticks on their heads.

Pein rolled his eyes. "OK. Minna, I would like to introduce our two newest members. They are both very skilled- don't be put off by their idiocy."

"Hey!"

Pein ignored them. "Anyway, Deidara of Iwagakure-"

"Konohagakure."

Pein very _subtly _twitched. "Of Iwagakure-"

"_Konoha_gakure un."

Pein turned to him with a vein throbbing. "Will you _shut up _so I can get through this?"

Deidara scoffed and folded his arms, looking away. "Che. Stupid pine cone head…"

Another vein popped. "Nevermind!" Pein huffed and jabbed a thumb in the direction of a smirking raven. "That is Uchiha Itachi of Konohagakure."

Itachi politely inclined his head. "Pleased to meet all you lower beings," he said.

Pein let out a loud sigh of frustration. "You two are impossible."

Deidara flashed a peace sign. "Thanks hmm."

"That wasn't a compliment fool!" Pein was beginning to regret inviting the two shinobi into his humble abode. "Now-" he motioned to the other members. "I will introduce you to your fellow companions. Treat them well."

"Whatever hmm."

"Hn."

Pein surpressed his urge to maim and destroy, instead pointing to the members who surrounded them in clockwise order. "That over there is Konan."

Konan gave a tiny wave.

Deidara beamed and waved back. "I know you un! You let us in here!"

All the Akatsuki glared at the blue-haired woman.

Pein rolled his eyes yet again. "OK. Next to her is Zetsu. He's our ever faithful scout. I trust him fully and would never suspect him of betraying us to work for someone else like Madara Uchiha."

Zetsu gave him a weird look and exchanged a glance with a suddenly un-hyper Tobi.

Pein coughed. "And that is Tobi. He's not an official member yet. We just keep him around for shits and giggles."

Tobi remained unmoving.

Pein hummed. "Hmph. Must have scared him," he muttered under his breath. "Don't worry Tobi," he called. "Madara died long ago."

Itachi glared at the masked man who had shifted closer to Zetsu in answer. _Hmm…there's something familiar about him. But what is it?_

"Next is Kakuzu-"

"What's in the zoo?" Deidara interrupted.

Kakuzu and Pein both shot holes into the blonde's head.

"My name is Kakuzu," Kakuzu said with a vein throbbing.

Deidara blinked. "What?"

"He said Kakuzu," Pein repeated for him.

Deidara started to shake his head in understanding before moving it side-to-side. "Yeeahhh. No. Not seeing what you're getting at un."

Sasori twitched. _Idiotic partner. _

Itachi pinched his blonde friend in the side. "Just stay quiet will you?"

"Fine hmm."

Pein held up his hands as a sign of peace, mostly towards Kakuzu who looked ready to dismember the new recruits. "Take it easy you guys. Deidara, Itachi, you all already know your respective partners, so there's no need for introductions I'm sure."

Deidara smirked. "Of course hmm. I've got the frickin' humpback and Itachi has a giant shark un."

Pein smacked a palm to his head. "No! That's not-"

"What was that brat?" Sasori asked, Hiruko's tail twitching threateningly. "Wanna say that to my face?"

Deidara flippantly waved his hand. "No- because then I'd have to bend down. And I've got back problems un."

Itachi smothered a snicker with a cough.

Sasori violently twitched. "You…"

"Ne, Itachi," Deidara suddenly said in a cheerful voice. "I sent Sasu-kun and Naru-chan a letter last night!"

Itachi gave him an interested look. "Really? Whatever for?"

"I have no idea," Deidara admitted. "But I just wanted to make sure they still knew we cared hmm."

"But we don't."

"Yes we do."

"No. And stop using 'we'. There is only 'I'."

"There's no 'I' in 'Team' un!"

Itachi paused and then haughtily turned his nose up. "But there is in 'Itachi'. And that is my name. Therefore, teamwork means nothing to me."

Deidara crossed his arms impatiently. "Yeah right un. You and I always worked together."

"Because you were the only option Deidara," Itachi pointedly said. "Use that brain in your head a bit- oh…nevermind."

Deidara stuck out his tongue. "Teme un."

"Baka."

"Prick."

"Dumbass."

Deidara felt a vein pop, and he uncrossed his arms to stomp his foot. "Shut up you frickin' fatass un!"

Itachi rolled his eyes, a tick appearing on his forehead. "You weigh more than me you ugly little ogre-"

"You're the one with ogre hands-"

"I am not-"

The Akatsuki watched with deadpan expressions as the two argued, only for it to be solved with a brief explosion and tiny lapse into the Nightmare Realm.

Itachi smirked and held a hand out to the fallen blonde who took it with some reluctance. "Are you okay Dei-da-ra?"

"Feeling peachy, _Itachi_."

Pein felt his brow quirk. "Anyway…moving on…" he motioned to the last member, ignoring the disbelieving looks the rest of the Akatsuki were giving him. "This is Hidan. He's immortal so don't try to kill him."

"Yeah fuckers," Hidan laughed. "Or I just might come back and bite you in the ass!"

Itachi's nose crinkled. "No thanks."

"Yeah un, that's just nasty," Deidara said.

Hidan stopped his chuckling to stare at the pair of teens. "Oh come on- you didn't really- I didn't even mean it like- _you _kids nowadays are _so _fuckin' wrong!" he finally said in exasperation, throwing his arms up into the air. "Dammit!"

Deidara smirked. "I _love _pissing people off," he said in a satisfied tone.

And thus their life started in Akatsuki.

With somewhat bad relations.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah...it was really going anywhere. It was something I typed up in the middle of Week One, but then they met up with some of the Akatsuki in the Chuunin Exams so...**

**I thought you might like reading it anyway :)**


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